Lan Zhan lifts her cup when the door to the caf\u00e9 opens, the bell rings, and she swallows her hot tea down too quick.<\/p>\n
Standing in the doorway of the caf\u00e9\u2014a little out of the way place that has a reputation around town\u2014is Wei Ying, long flowing black hair tied haphazardly in a ponytail, smiling bright and perhaps a bit nervous as she looks around the shop. She\u2019s got high-waisted shorts on, knee-length socks with little black birds on them, and a navy-purple-magenta cropped sweater.<\/p>\n
Lan Zhan\u2019s throat is burning, but it\u2019s no match for the stunned buzzing in her ears.<\/p>\n
Nie Huaisang takes one look at her, another at the figure in the doorway, and says, \u201cOh boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Their table has a little sign that says LGBT CLUB MEETINGS<\/em>; stuck to the table, it\u2019s laminated and worn, peeled off tape still visible through the reapplied layers. It\u2019s no question when Wei Ying spots it and bounds over, smiling at Nie Huaisang who\u2019s holding the clipboard that contains their contact information. Nie Huaisang is the official club leader, but when you\u2019re actually in the club, you know it\u2019s Lan Zhan who does most of the behind-the-scenes work.<\/p>\n \u201cHi!\u201d Wei Ying chirps. \u201cI\u2019m Wei Ying. This is for the club meeting?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh huh,\u201d Nie Huaisang says. Lan Zhan is glad they don\u2019t say something like, I know who you are already because my club vice president showed me pictures of you the one time we got drunk together two years ago<\/em>. They don\u2019t talk about drinking together anymore, and Nie Huaisang is generally kind enough to not bring up Wei Ying\u2014but now, after this, after now<\/em>, Lan Zhan is pretty sure she\u2019s in for a ribbing over dinner.<\/p>\n \u201cCool,\u201d Wei Ying says cheerfully, and Nie Huaisang hands her the clipboard for her to scribble her information on. When she hands it back, she looks around the table\u2014and her eye finally catches on Lan Zhan, sitting next to Nie Huaisang.<\/p>\n Her eyes widen. \u201cAre you\u2014Is this Lan Zhan?\u201d she says gleefully, and runs around the table, taking the seat that is usually vacated beside her. Lan Zhan sits at the far end of the table, next to the wall; the last seat tends to be reserved for everyone\u2019s coats and bags.<\/p>\n But Wei Ying barrels into the chair, grinning from ear to ear. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you since\u2014Gusu, was it?\u201d she says. Lan Zhan can\u2019t think of anything to say. \u201cOh my god, it\u2019s been so long. I didn\u2019t even know you were LGBT! Unless you\u2019re here as an ally, which is also totally cool\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I.\u201d Lan Zhan coughs. Her throat feels dry. \u201cI am a lesbian.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that\u2019s cool too!\u201d Wei Ying beams. \u201cYou know, I usually don\u2019t remember most people from high school\u2014high schools<\/em>,\u201d she amends, with a little roll of her eyes, \u201cbut Lan Zhan is unforgettable. I wouldn\u2019t have taken you for a lesbian!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMn,\u201d Lan Zhan says, because her mind is failing her. Her words are failing her. What is she supposed to say to that? How can Wei Ying just barrel back into her life and expect her to know how to respond, a life force of bright and bubbly?<\/p>\n \u201cTrust me,\u201d Huaisang pipes up from Lan Zhan\u2019s side. Lan Zhan shoots him a warning glare, but Huaisang blithely ignores her. \u201cShe\u2019s very lesbian.\u201d<\/p>\n Wei Ying laughs. \u201cI trust you, I trust you,\u201d she says, and turns her smile back at Lan Zhan, eyes crinkling. \u201cI’m glad to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n The LGBT club always meets at the same caf\u00e9 on Thursdays; once a month, they do events at the drag bar down the street, usually the last Saturday. Since it\u2019s the beginning of the semester it takes a while for people to get settled in\u2014freshmen tentatively exploring their identities, kids who were in their GSA in high school finding new ways to help out in college, and sometimes transfers, older students, who\u2019ve always been out, who\u2019ve never been out, finding a home in this new town, too.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan hadn\u2019t expected to become such a core part of her school\u2019s LGBT club, but she thinks she wouldn\u2019t be as comfortable with herself as she is now if she hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n She discovers, after the first meeting and a half (because Wei Ying trails Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang to dinner, and then she\u2019s saying she\u2019s hungry too, and neither Lan Zhan or Nie Huaisang have the heart to tell her off because Lan Zhan is pretty<\/em> sure Huaisang wants to vet her anyway), that Wei Ying is a new transfer this semester\u2014\u201cCollege sucks, you know?\u201d Wei Ying says with a roll of her eyes, over her noodles. \u201cI took like, two years of a break, and then Jiang-shushu sat me down and was like, at least go to community college. So then I did and got my Associate\u2019s and ended up here.\u201d<\/p>\n She slurps noisily at a noodle. Only she would make transferring to one of the top schools in the country after two gap years and community college sound like the easiest thing in the world.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you studying?\u201d Nie Huaisang asks with interest.<\/p>\n \u201cOh! Right, the newbie questions.\u201d Wei Ying places her chopsticks down with a grin. \u201cEngineering. Computer science, specifically. But don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m a useless bisexual in every other aspect except school.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I recall,\u201d Lan Zhan can\u2019t help but speaking up, \u201cyour track record was not great in high school.\u201d<\/p>\n Surprised laughter bubbles out of Wei Ying. \u201cLan Zhan, your memory! God, Gusu was one of the strictest high schools I attended when Jiang-shushu made us move around so much. No offense,\u201d Wei Ying adds to Lan Zhan, who merely picks at a bean sprout. \u201cBut could you blame me? The rules, the discipline\u2026 Of course, I\u2019m sure Lan Zhan has a flawless academic career.\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan cannot disagree, because Wei Ying is right. She delicately places a mushroom in her mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you guys studying?\u201d Wei Ying asks curiously, after a moment. \u201cEspecially you, Lan Zhan, I want to know what you\u2019ve been up to all these years.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s a music composition major,\u201d Nie Huaisang says, before Lan Zhan can reply\u2014or think of a way to deflect, because Wei Ying had always been obsessed with her in high school and it drove her crazy. \u201cWith a focus on\u2026 something, I can\u2019t remember. But I\u2019m a fine arts major with an emphasis in painting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOoh, art!\u201d Wei Ying says, latching onto Huaisang\u2019s last bit. Lan Zhan doesn\u2019t know if she should be disappointed that Wei Ying\u2019s grown up. \u201cCan you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDraw you?\u201d Nie Huaisang says dryly.<\/p>\n Wei Ying laughs. \u201cHow\u2019d you know? No, I mean, if you want to\u2014I draw too, as a hobby of course, so I\u2019d be totally interested in looking at your stuff if you were up to it.\u201d<\/p>\n Nie Huaisang lights up. Lan Zhan knows it\u2019s rare for someone to be interested in their drawings rather than that they’re the younger sibling of the school\u2019s former, now professional star athlete. \u201cAfter dinner?\u201d they say.<\/p>\n Wei Ying nods. \u201cI\u2019m down, I have no homework,\u201d she says, then turns thoughtful. \u201cI think. But Lan Zhan, you\u2019re coming too, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan feels hopeless. Here she is, in the first week of the new semester, and Wei Ying\u2019s already tugging her away from normalcy, land, a ship out at sea. \u201cIf Wei Ying would like,\u201d she says quietly, and Nie Huaisang smirks, and Wei Ying cheers.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Huaisang shows Wei Ying their drawings; Lan Zhan has seen them all before, has nothing to say. And Wei Ying attends the caf\u00e9 meetings, runs into Lan Zhan in line at H-Mart, brings her a pen on the third week of the semester, a sky blue one with little clouds on it, and says, \u201cI bought this at Kinokuniya last weekend! It made me think of you.\u201d Lan Zhan\u2019s face heats because she has an identical one at home, but can\u2019t bring herself to tell Wei Ying; she accepts it, and tucks it gingerly in her backpack, bringing it out during her classes to take notes.<\/p>\n It\u2019s her second to last semester and last year of college\u2014she doesn\u2019t have time for this, for her past to crash back into her life and beam bright on her days like it\u2019s always been there. She has compositions to work, advisors to meet with, school to think about\u2014and yet, as Wei Ying smiles at her at another club meeting, and Lan Zhan can think of nothing else for the rest of the night.<\/p>\n There are grad students who used to be a part of the LGBT club and still crash their meetings every once in a while, because the club’s schedule hasn\u2019t changed in apparently the past seven years. It\u2019s in the middle of one when the caf\u00e9 door dings open, and from where they\u2019re talking about the best dining halls on campus, Lan Zhan sees Wei Ying\u2019s eyes dart toward the door, and narrow.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan looks to the door as well. It\u2019s Jin Zixuan\u2014hair sleek like she\u2019d gotten it professionally done this morning, which is likely, decked in a gold bomber jacket and leather pants. She doesn\u2019t pay Wei Ying any attention as she bounds over to their table with a smile on her face. \u201cI thought I\u2019d find my baby gays here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re<\/em> a baby gay,\u201d says Mianmian, who\u2019s a math major, grumbling when Jin Zixuan ruffles her hair.<\/p>\n Jin Zixuan smirks. \u201cYou\u2019re all babyer gays to me,\u201d she says, and looks up and down the table. \u201cEspecially the new faces. Hello, babiest of baby gays, don\u2019t mind me, just thought I\u2019d drop by and say hi.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJin Zixuan,\u201d Wei Ying says loudly, and the entire table turns to look at her.<\/p>\n Wei Ying\u2019s face is stormy. When Lan Zhan looks back at Jin Zixuan, she sees her expression flicker\u2014shock, confusion, then something neutral.<\/p>\n \u201cWei Ying,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s been a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStill a peacock then?\u201d Wei Ying sneers.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan puts a hand on Wei Ying\u2019s arm. \u201cWei Ying,\u201d she says. \u201cNow is not the time, Jin Zixuan is\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot as much as I used to be,\u201d Jin Zixuan says, with a brief wave of her hand. It\u2019s quick, not obvious\u2014but her professionally manicured nails are painted pink and magenta and sunset orange, spelling out DYKE<\/em> on four of her five fingers on each hand.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan sees Wei Ying catch this, Wei Ying\u2019s eyes widening.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know about that,\u201d Wei Ying says, though her tone takes a less antagonistic edge. \u201cTakes a while to unlearn all that peacockiness, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt also takes a while to learn how to control your temper,\u201d Jin Zixuan says airily. \u201cBut I see you haven\u2019t done much better yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOhhh<\/em>!\u201d says someone down the table, and Jin Zixuan laughs and bends down to say something to them.<\/p>\n At Lan Zhan\u2019s side, Wei Ying is fuming a bit; but there\u2019s a bit of a regretful twist to her mouth, too.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t expect to see Jin Zixuan here,\u201d she says quietly, when Lan Zhan leans close to check on her. \u201cH\u2014She shouldn\u2019t have, it was\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne of your high schools,\u201d Lan Zhan guesses, and Wei Ying nods.<\/p>\n \u201cBefore I came to Gusu,\u201d Wei Ying says. \u201cIt was the school beforehand, a-jie was still a senior. And she liked Jin Zixuan, back when,\u201d she hesitates, \u201cshe was also in high school. And kind of a prick to my sister.\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan nods. She can see that; Jin Zixuan is perfectly polite now, but also filthy rich, and that\u2019s never a good combination when you’re a teenager.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you friends with Zixuan?\u201d Wei Ying asks her.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan thinks. She\u2019d been a freshman when Jin Zixuan was still an undergrad. \u201cI think I still have her number in my phone when I first joined the club,\u201d she says. \u201cBut I do not think either of us would say that we were friends.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, phew,\u201d Wei Ying says with overdramatic relief. \u201cThat\u2019s good. Because if I had to make nice with Jin Zixuan to be Lan Zhan\u2019s friend again\u2014\u201d She considers. \u201cWell, I probably could. But I wouldn\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan, however, stops at Wei Ying\u2019s words. \u201cDid you consider me a friend in high school?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Oh.\u201d Wei Ying giggles, the way she does when she\u2019s embarrassed. \u201cI mean, I guess! I don\u2019t think Lan Zhan considered me<\/em> a friend in high school, though. Why would you? I kept bothering you, talking to you\u2026 I must\u2019ve been really annoying.\u201d She giggles again, but this time more light-hearted, carefree.<\/p>\n But Lan Zhan shakes her head, says, \u201cNo.\u201d Wei Ying was maybe annoying for the first week, but for the rest of it\u2026 How do you tell someone that their presence in your life, as strong as a summer breeze and gone the next season, upended how you viewed the world, and yourself? \u201cWei Ying was my friend too,\u201d she says, and hope that her whole heart doesn\u2019t show at her words.<\/p>\n Wei Ying beams at her. \u201cAnd we\u2019re friends again now,\u201d she says, and laces her hand with Lan Zhan\u2019s.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Today\u2019s club meeting mostly covers plans for the weekend\u2014this month’s Saturday event at the drag bar, which they\u2019re all encouraged to go to let off some steam after the start of the semester.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan only goes because Huaisang usually goes, even though by the end of it she ends up driving home alone while Huaisang hangs off the shoulder of some twink, reminding Lan Zhan to text when she gets home. This time, however, at the end of the meeting in the caf\u00e9, they\u2019re packing up their bags when Wei Ying says, \u201cLan Zhan, you\u2019re going right?\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan nods, delicately resting her teaspoon on the caf\u00e9 saucer.<\/p>\n \u201cThen you have to dance with me!\u201d Wei Ying stands up and does a little twirl. Her ponytail flies, parts like wings behind her. \u201cI\u2019m a great dancer, I\u2019m sure we\u2019d look so good together.\u201d<\/p>\n Huaisang snorts. \u201cI don\u2019t think Lan Zhan dances.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut up, Huaisang,\u201d Wei Ying says, but good-naturedly\u2014Lan Zhan is almost envious how after only a month of friendship and they\u2019ve already established such a natural banter. \u201cLan Zhan is good at everything, of course she\u2019d be good at dancing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s not good at everything<\/em>,\u201d Huaisang says.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan glares, daring Huaisang to mention the thing about the alcohol.<\/p>\n Huaisang hums and goes back to their conversation with Mo Xuanyu.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re good at dancing,\u201d Wei Ying says, turning back to Lan Zhan again. \u201cAren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan shifts her shoulders; one might even call it shrugging. \u201cI have not had many opportunities to try,\u201d she says. \u201cThere have been few times where strangers have asked me to dance, but\u2014\u201d She cuts herself off, because aside from moving awkwardly on her feet with Huaisang, she\u2019s always said no.<\/p>\n There had been no reason to agree, when none of them were Wei Ying.<\/p>\n Wei Ying who is here now, nodding sagely. \u201cRight, because they were probably drunk and sweaty,\u201d she says, and Lan Zhan doesn\u2019t bother correcting her. \u201cAh, but of course the beautiful and talented Lan Zhan has had strangers asking to dance with her\u2026 I\u2019ve only been on two dates on my life,\u201d she says with a pout. \u201cBoth of them were boys.\u201d<\/p>\n This surprises Lan Zhan\u2014did Wei Ying not take a gap year off? What was she doing, if not partying?<\/p>\n But she doesn\u2019t get a chance to ask, because as the group disperses, in their own conversations, saying goodbye and leaving the caf\u00e9, Jin Zixuan comes up to them.<\/p>\n Wei Ying stops dead in her tracks.<\/p>\n Jin Zixuan glances between her and Lan Zhan. \u201cUh, hi,\u201d she says, mostly to Wei Ying. \u201cDo you mind if we\u2014can I talk to you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, if Lan Zhan can stick around,\u201d Wei Ying says easily. \u201cLan Zhan, you don\u2019t mind that we were so suddenly interrupted, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan shakes her head, diminutively.<\/p>\n \u201cUh, okay,\u201d Jin Zixuan says.<\/p>\n She takes a deep breath. \u201cLook, Wei Ying, I know I was rude to your sister in high school. A dick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI like what I\u2019m hearing so far,\u201d Wei Ying says, nodding. \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019ve, um. I\u2019ve changed. And realized some things,\u201d Jin Zixuan says, and her gaze flickers to her nails. \u201cAnd I really\u2014your sister was too kind to me when I didn\u2019t deserve it, and when she confessed, everything about that, I\u2014and I\u2019ve been thinking a lot lately\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not going to give her your number, if that\u2019s what you\u2019re asking,\u201d Wei Ying says.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Jin Zixuan says quickly. \u201cNo, I mean\u2026 If you can, if you want, can you give an apology to her? From me? You don\u2019t have to tell her about any of my\u2014\u201d She gestures. \u201cAny of this. Or you can, I don\u2019t care. Just tell her that I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Wei Ying squints at her. But Jin Zixuan seems genuine\u2014and if Lan Zhan is being honest, she thinks Jin Zixuan kind of deserves it. Time changes and people change. There\u2019s no way to go back and make up for your teenage mistakes\u2014to turn your sharp comments into something softer, to turn your scowls into something fonder, bathing in the attention of something far too beautiful for you.<\/p>\n To realize that all it took for you to realize you liked women was one girl, in your life one year and gone the next, in laughter and illicit Playboy magazines and sunshine.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll think about it,\u201d Wei Ying decides. \u201cBut you better mean it, Zixuan, because no one in the world is ever<\/em> going to be good enough for my a-jie.\u201d<\/p>\n Jin Zixuan nods fervently.<\/p>\n Wei Ying pauses, and considers. \u201cBut you should know that she\u2019s bi, too,\u201d she says, before stalking away.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan follows her, past Jin Zixuan, out the caf\u00e9. The streets are filled with the college students bustling in and out of bookstores, restaurants, smoke shops; the sky is blue, and Wei Ying stands out in the middle of them all.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan says, \u201cI think you made a good decision.\u201d<\/p>\n Wei Ying scoffs. \u201cWhat, forgiving Jin Zixuan? I did the bare minimum.\u201d She hitches her purse up her shoulder and puffs out a breath. \u201cShe made a-jie cry in high school though, so she better keep groveling at my feet if she wants her number.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d give it to her?\u201d Lan Zhan asks, with some surprise.<\/p>\n \u201cIf she grovels well enough.\u201d But Wei Ying\u2019s tone turns lighter now. \u201cA-jie would be happy, too, I don\u2019t think she\u2019s ever stopped holding a torch for Jin Zixuan, even if Zixuan\u2019s different now. A girl,\u201d she amends thoughtfully. \u201cI get it, though. Sometimes you like someone so much that their gender doesn\u2019t matter to you. Or, if it does,\u201d she shrugs. \u201cYou can\u2019t help who you are or who you like.\u201d<\/p>\n Once upon a time, Lan Zhan might\u2019ve disagreed\u2014when she was younger, when her mind was still swimming, with this newness, with Wei Ying<\/em>. She might\u2019ve felt furious at Wei Ying\u2019s words, wishes she could<\/em> help who she was or who she liked\u2014felt far more comfortable assuming she didn\u2019t care for such trivial things, relationships, other people. That this was the reason they didn\u2019t come easy to her, boys or kissing or dating, and that one day a boy would like her enough, she would like him enough, and that would be the end of it.<\/p>\n But now, here\u2014as an out lesbian, the vice president of her school\u2019s LGBT club, Lan Zhan thinks she\u2019s happier than she ever would\u2019ve been if she\u2019d never known. If Wei Ying hadn\u2019t crashed into her life with the power, the devastation of a natural disaster.<\/p>\n \u201cIndeed,\u201d she says, smiling.<\/p>\n Wei Ying\u2019s mouth falls open. \u201cLan Zhan, you\u2019re smiling!\u201d She reaches up to touch Lan Zhan\u2019s face\u2014small fingers, soft on her lips, and Lan Zhan feels heat creep up her skin. \u201cYou have such a good smile, Lan Zhan. You should smile more!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI make no promises,\u201d Lan Zhan says, batting Wei Ying away and covering her mouth with her hand.<\/p>\n Wei Ying laughs.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Lan Zhan does not have skimpy clothing. However, Wei Ying does, which is something Lan Zhan quickly discovers when she meets the rest of the club at the bar on Saturday evening.<\/p>\n In the dim lighting of the club, it should be hard to see\u2014but it\u2019s not, when Wei Ying has black fishnet stockings crawling up her legs. She\u2019s wearing disastrously short jean shorts, barely covering her thighs, accentuating her ass which basically has a room to itself on a normal day. Or maybe Lan Zhan\u2019s stuck in such a daze of lust that it\u2019s nearly all she can think about, if not that Wei Ying were also wearing a red, bare-shouldered crop top, baring her stomach on display, and her breasts\u2014<\/p>\n She is definitely<\/em> not wearing a bra under there. Lan Zhan refuses to let herself think about it anymore.<\/p>\n \u201cLan Zhan!\u201d Wei Ying says with delight when Lan Zhan and Huaisang arrive. \u201cAnd Nie Huaisang\u2014ooh, someone looks ready to get laid tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSpeak for yourself,\u201d Nie Huaisang says, looking Wei Ying up and down. \u201cIf I was into girls\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s funny,\u201d Lan Zhan says sharply, throwing Nie Huaisang a glare.<\/p>\n But Wei Ying laughs. \u201cDon\u2019t say stuff like that, Huaisang, I\u2019m taken!\u201d she says, and throws her arms around Lan Zhan\u2019s neck. Her sizable breasts\u2014average-sized, objectively, but heat surges into Lan Zhan\u2019s core anyway because they\u2019re Wei Ying\u2019s\u2014press into Lan Zhan\u2019s arm. Lan Zhan\u2019s brain whites out.<\/p>\n \u201cBy Lan Zhan, then?\u201d Nie Huaisang says with some amusement, glancing between them.<\/p>\n Wei Ying rubs her cheeks with Lan Zhan\u2019s. \u201cOf course! My wlw-in-crime,\u201d she says. She pronounces it like wuh-luh-wuh. \u201cLike sexy spy partners, or something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course,\u201d Nie Huaisang echoes, and gives a significant look to Lan Zhan. Even though Lan Zhan is pretty sure that the night they accidentally got drunk together and Lan Zhan confessed that a girl named Wei Ying in high school made her realize she was a raging lesbian\u2014even if that hadn’t happened, it probably wouldn’t change anything about the situation right now. But it’s easier to think about it, regret it, curse Nie Huaisang and their ancestors for having a better alcohol tolerance than Lan Zhan, than to think about Wei Ying wearing so little clothing, pressed against her.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m gonna go dance,\u201d Huaisang says, and goes to the dancefloor, presumably to end up in the arms of another twink.<\/p>\n Wei Ying lets go of Lan Zhan, finally. \u201cThat sounds like a good idea,\u201d she says, eyeing where the bass rattles the walls, rainbow colors flashing everywhere. \u201cLet\u2019s dance, Lan Zhan!\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan tries to protest\u2014but then she thinks of other people, strangers, anyone else seeing Wei Ying like this. The hot envy that burns through her veins is hotter than any embarrassment she ends up getting from her own attempts at dancing.<\/p>\n Wei Ying laughs as she pulls Lan Zhan by the wrist, properly into the middle of the dance floor, bouncing to the beat. \u201cWe\u2019re popping your club dancing virginity, Lan Zhan!\u201d she shouts, and Lan Zhan tries not to think of what she\u2019d like to reply to that.<\/p>\n She imitates Wei Ying, bouncing on her feet. All around them, other bodies jumping, shaking along with the music blasting from the wall\u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s your opinion of this song?\u201d Wei Ying asks over the music. Lan Zhan has to duck her head down to hear her. \u201cBe honest!\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan thinks. Or rather, tries to think: she can barely hear her own thoughts, much less the words to the song.<\/p>\n \u201cIt could use some work,\u201d she replies loudly, and Wei Ying laughs.<\/p>\n Wei Ying grabs her hand and twirls her; Lan Zhan slowly feels less like she\u2019s merely jumping up and down to the beat, and actually feels the music, running across her skin, flowing through her body. She grinds her shoulders and her hips; she remembers ballet lessons when she was twelve, the sight of kids dancing on her TV over a bowl of butterless, saltless popcorn.<\/p>\n Wei Ying beams, watching her. \u201cI told you you\u2019re a natural,\u201d she says, and Lan Zhan wants to kiss her under the colorful lights.<\/p>\n She doesn’t; and after a bit of dancing, Wei Ying begs away to take a break at the bar. She asks Lan Zhan if she wants anything, but Lan Zhan says no and Wei Ying doesn\u2019t press further; already in this space, breathless and sweating, their skin touching for the past half hour, Lan Zhan doesn\u2019t want to let her guard down further. Especially since it takes less than a shot to get her drunk\u2014she watches as Wei Ying orders a beer and knocks it back, throat long and bitable as she swallows.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan blinks when Wei Ying turns to look at her. \u201cI\u2019m having a good time,\u201d Wei Ying says. \u201cI never thought I\u2019d end up here, with you\u2026 if I told high school me.\u201d She laughs. \u201cLife is so unpredictable, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n Indeed: and yet Lan Zhan\u2019s heart still rattles when Wei Ying turns her smile onto her, full beam. \u201cWe should dance again,\u201d Lan Zhan says, because she needs something as a distraction.<\/p>\n Wei Ying jumps off the bar stool and eagerly follows.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n And it\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s not the drinking, the dancing, the fingers and wrists and breasts and skin brushing hot as the night goes on. But a culmination of it all, and the past weeks of talking, learning each other again, catching each other between the music and engineering sides of campuses, exchanging smiles, glances\u2014<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not in the club, either. It’s as the night goes on and Lan Zhan begins to feels sleep in her shoulders when Wei Ying turns to her and goes, \u201cWanna get a coffee or something at mine?\u201d Lan Zhan nods, joins her on her motorbike, feels Wei Ying\u2019s stomach beneath her hands.<\/p>\n Wants and feels and feels<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n It\u2019s up in Wei Ying\u2019s apartment, when Wei Ying is going into her kitchen. \u201cHow do you take your coffee?\u201d Wei Ying asks, and Lan Zhan follows her and grabs her by the wrist and kisses her.<\/p>\n Wei Ying makes a muffled noise against her mouth\u2014but then she\u2019s kissing back, sweat and that weird unsavory taste of alcohol but more than that, sweetness, Wei Ying<\/em>. Lan Zhan wants to taste her, wants to taste all of her, wants to crawl inside and take her apart and ruin<\/em> her\u2014<\/p>\n Wei Ying is making another noise, between their lips. \u201cLan Zhan, Lan Zhan,\u201d she\u2019s saying, Lan Zhan realizes. Her hands have snuck underneath Wei Ying\u2019s tiny shorts, playing with the gaps in her fishnets, stroking her thighs. \u201cLan Zhan, I\u2014\u201d she giggles. \u201cWasn\u2019t I going to make coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n Lan Zhan breathes between them, thinks of all the things she wants to do, has been wanting to do, fantasized about since she was sixteen\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t drink coffee,\u201d she murmurs, kissing, biting at Wei Ying\u2019s lips again.<\/p>\n \u201cOh,\u201d Wei Ying says, when they break apart a moment later. \u201cOh, right, at the caf\u00e9, you only ever ordered tea, duh\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWei Ying,\u201d Lan Zhan says, looking her in the face now. Wei Ying is breathing hard, loud; Lan Zhan\u2019s holding her up against her kitchen counter. Wei Ying\u2019s thighs are trembling against her. \u201cWould you like me to fuck you or not?\u201d<\/p>\n Wei Ying\u2019s mouth falls open but no sound comes out\u2014then, \u201cYes, yes, a million times yes,\u201d she babbles. \u201cOh my god, Lan Zhan, fuck me, please, fuck me so<\/em> hard\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen I shall,\u201d Lan Zhan says, and hoists Wei Ying\u2019s legs up.<\/p>\n Wei Ying shrieks, then laughs when she realizes that Lan Zhan has wrapped her legs around her waist, holding her up effortlessly. \u201cLan Zhan, Lan-jiejie, you beast,\u201d she teases, kissing around Lan Zhan\u2019s face as Lan Zhan looks for at least a couch in the living room. \u201cYou\u2019ve probably ruined so many girls before, huh? Vice president of the LGBT club\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Lan Zhan says, shaking her head.<\/p>\n Wei Ying raises her eyebrows. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me Lan-jiejie is a virgin,\u201d she says, but something sparkles in her eyes at the prospect.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan lays her down on a plush couch in the living room. Wei Ying\u2019s hair splays all around her, her head and her neck. \u201cThere has only ever been Wei Ying,\u201d she says, crowding over her body, bending down and kissing her.<\/p>\n Wei Ying kisses back. But then\u2014\u201cYou can\u2019t mean that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI do,\u201d Lan Zhan replies.<\/p>\n Because she remembers when Wei Ying had entered that classroom in Gusu the first day\u2014loud and annoying and wouldn\u2019t stop whispering in the back; then when the teacher called on her, she answered every question correctly. She had bound up to Lan Zhan at lunch later and said that she noticed that they had every class together so they should be buddies<\/em> and tangled their fingers together, and Lan Zhan had thrown her off, away like it had burned her, snapped that she didn\u2019t associate with mindless miscreants like Wei Ying.<\/p>\n And Wei Ying had laughed her off anyway and aced every exam in every class and sat next to her at the library a week later and Lan Zhan did not have the heart to move away.<\/p>\n And then a week later Lan Zhan was Googling hot feeling in chest and wetness in vagina when looking at girl<\/em>.<\/p>\n And then over the summer she was masturbating to lesbian porn every day, fingering herself furiously and wondering what it would be like to touch Wei Ying down there, stroke her clit, tease and taste and fuck her until she came.<\/p>\n And now Wei Ying’s here now, smiling up at Lan Zhan, the best thing in the world.<\/p>\n \u201cFuck me up, Lan-jiejie,\u201d she says, looping her arms around Lan Zhan\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n Lan Zhan tears off her fishnet stockings and does.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cI haven\u2019t seen you since\u2014Gusu, was it?\u201d Wei Ying says. \u201cOh my god, it\u2019s been so long. I didn\u2019t even know you were LGBT! Unless you\u2019re here as an ally, which is also totally cool\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I.\u201d Lan Zhan coughs. Her throat feels dry. \u201cI am a lesbian.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[111,718,200,132,203,204,201,202,226],"fandom":[464],"rating":[676],"ship":[577],"relationship":[607],"minorfandomships":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-default","tag-college-university","tag-genderswap","tag-lgbt-organizations","tag-modern-au","tag-nonbinary-character","tag-nonbinary-nhs","tag-trans-girl-character","tag-trans-girl-jin-zixuan","tag-yuletide-2020","fandom-mdzs","rating-mature","ship-wangxian","relationship-femslash"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"fandom","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/fandom?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"ship","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ship?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"relationship","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/relationship?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"minorfandomships","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/minorfandomships?post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}