{"id":2008,"date":"2012-09-11T22:45:21","date_gmt":"2012-09-12T02:45:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/?p=2008"},"modified":"2025-01-04T22:47:21","modified_gmt":"2025-01-05T02:47:21","slug":"goth-is-quirky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/2008\/","title":{"rendered":"goth is quirky"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

The sun is setting and Stan can\u2019t see it in the distance. All he sees is a bright, yellow glow, mixed with purple and pink and orange and cyan and lavender and other colors he doesn\u2019t know. He\u2019s standing at the side of the lake, cold and away. But everything has always felt cold and away here in South Park.<\/p>\n

Kyle comes next to him and Stan doesn\u2019t look at him, isn\u2019t even surprised. Kyle says, \u201cWhat are you thinking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Stan says, pulls out his cigarette from between his lips. Offers it to Kyle.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks,\u201d says Kyle. They\u2019ve all smoked before, the four of them (Stan hates it when he thinks of them as this, but he does.) All of them had taken a fancy to it, but they\u2019ve never admitted it to each other. Stan\u2019s seen the symptoms, though\u2014Kyle\u2019s shaky hands, Cartman\u2019s baggy eyes, Kenny\u2019s impossible cheeriness even though he has nothing to be cheery about.<\/p>\n

Stan\u2019s always had shaky hands, baggy eyes, impossible cheeriness (when he\u2019s around others, at least.) He says, \u201cSuit yourself,\u201d to Kyle before sticking the cigarette back in his mouth, inhaling, and then taking it out and pausing and then exhaling. He feels like he\u2019s nothing, and it\u2019s the greatest feeling in the world.<\/p>\n

He looks at Kyle again. \u201cYou didn\u2019t bring the booze,\u201d he realizes, and Kyle scoffs.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou expected me to listen to you? I\u2019m not letting you get drunk on your ass again,\u201d he says. He stans next to Stan, so that their elbows are touching. They\u2019re the same height. Stan\u2019s hood contrasts with Kyle\u2019s mop of flaming red hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we doing here?\u201d Kyle asks. Stan thinks he\u2019s talking about Stark\u2019s Pond, but then Kyle says, \u201cWhat are we doing with our lives?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLiving it, I guess,\u201d says Stan.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look scary with that jacket on,\u201d Kyle says, and Stan chuckles and nudges him lightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not allowed to say that, I\u2019m your best friend,\u201d he says, and then they go quiet again.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember when,\u201d Kyle starts, and then stops. Starts again. \u201cRemember when I turned ten, and thought everything was shit, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d says Stan; that\u2019s one day of his life he\u2019ll never forget. He still doesn\u2019t know if better or for worse, since Kyle had been the last: everyone had started moving onto work and things-that-mattered and stopped playing, and Kyle was still holding his toy trucks and looking to his GameCube. Stan had put up with the shit for him because, well, it was his\u00a0best friend<\/em>, but the instant Kyle had turned ten, he became one of them, now.<\/p>\n

Kyle\u2019s still one of them and Stan thinks he\u2019s better at being one of them than anyone else. Stan can\u2019t see Kyle; he can hear only the things Kyle says, see the things that he does. Not Kyle.<\/p>\n

He supposes this is one of the side effects of smoking that no one warns you about.<\/p>\n

Kyle says to him, \u201cI was so glad I could understand what you were talking about,\u201d and Stan says, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were,\u201d says Kyle. \u201cYou were the first, and I finally got you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2014no.\u201d Stan shakes his head. \u201cNo, I was a cynical little shit, I was\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you were\u00a0right<\/em>,\u201d says Kyle. \u201cAnd that\u2019s all that matters. You were right all along and we just couldn\u2019t see it.\u201d He sighs and puts his hands in his pockets. \u201cYou were right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stan doesn\u2019t think that\u2019s right because it\u2019s not about that, it\u2019s about being worth something and Stan doesn\u2019t think he\u2019s worth something. He doesn\u2019t think much else is worth something but the thing that didn\u2019t change about him when he changed was that he didn\u2019t think Kyle was shit, and he doesn\u2019t think Kyle can ever be shit even if he tried.<\/p>\n

\u201cKyle,\u201d Stan says, almost pleadingly; but Kyle just smiles at him and takes his hand and says, \u201cI like this.\u201d He steps sideways closer to Stan and gazes at the sun, as well. Stan wonders if Kyle knows he\u2019s looking at himself.<\/p>\n

Kyle sighs and his fingers tighten around Stan\u2019s, and Stan squeezes back. His cigarette is burning at the end of his mouth, but Kyle\u2019s grip stays tight around his hand.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The sun is setting and Stan can\u2019t see it in the distance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"fandom":[548],"rating":[675],"ship":[751],"relationship":[606],"minorfandomships":[],"class_list":["post-2008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-default","fandom-sp","rating-teen","ship-stan-kyle","relationship-slash"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2008"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2008\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"fandom","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/fandom?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"rating","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rating?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"ship","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ship?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"relationship","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/relationship?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"minorfandomships","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aroceu.com\/fic\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/minorfandomships?post=2008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}