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Posted on:
2015-02-25
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3,019

once more, with feeling

by aroceu

Summary:

“This is just like volleyball!” he exclaims. “The more we practice, the better we get!”

“Yeah,” says Tobio, although his mind kind of backtracks and reels at the more we practice because – what? Tobio just kind of wants to try kissing Hinata once.

Notes:

“How did you get that answer?”

Hinata’s peering at Tobio’s worksheet. Tobio’s already staring – the annoying part, although this was bound to happen sooner or later. Hinata narrows his eyes as he tries to read Tobio’s scrawl. Tobio does this mixture of attempting to push him away, while pulling his paper back. It doesn’t go over too well when Tobio feels his pen make a mark on his chin as he does so. Hinata squawks and falls off the bed.

“Hey!” Hinata glares as he sits back up. “What was that for?”

“I didn’t want you looking at how I got the answer,” Tobio answers, although it doesn’t sound real in his ears. Maybe that’s because his cheeks are hot and he’s still kind of fixated on the way Hinata’s hair had gotten even messier when he’d fell – who knew that was even possible? – and rubbing a sore spot on his cheek.

Hinata frowns and gets back on Tobio’s bed. “You could’ve just said so,” he says.

“I could not have,” Tobio replies. “You would’ve made me try to show you the answer anyway.”

“I,” says Hinata, putting a hand on his chest, raising his chin, “am not mean like you.”

It’s an empty insult, but Tobio scoffs and kicks him at the ankle for it. Hinata loses his balance and lands face-first in his worksheet. “If you’re a problem behind me, then get back to work,” he says, and waits for Hinata to do as he’s told.

He hears Hinata shuffle around, right himself on Tobio’s bed, stick the end of his pen in his mouth, and pop the cap open. They’d arranged this routine long ago, coming to Tobio’s house to work on homework together. It’d started in the living room, and then one day Tobio had said that working in his bedroom was more comfortable. Hinata, only naturally, had followed.

Hinata always occupies the left side of his bed when they’re working together, dangles his feet in the air, knocks his feet together. Tobio likes to perch on his side. It makes it easier when they’re both struggling with a question that they end up guessing at together. Those are usually bound to be wrong, but they once got a correct answer by accident.

Hinata’s muttering math equations to himself. Tobio imagines it’s because he thinks he sounds intelligent when he does, but even though Tobio usually falls asleep during that lesson, he knows that Hinata’s mumblings make no sense.

He likes watching Hinata like this: intense, weirdly small in his bed in a way that Tobio wouldn’t have imagined. He has far less skill here than he does on the volleyball court, but there they have jobs where he and Hinata have to find ways to fit into each other. Here they’re both kind of useless.

Tobio doesn’t know when he started this discreet staring thing – maybe a while ago he would’ve been confident in saying after he and Hinata had decided to regularly study in his bed, but now he’s not sure anymore. At least when he’s playing volleyball he has to watch Hinata – here there’s no choice but to do homework, or to watch Hinata. Plus, like, Hinata’s loud and moves all the time. So of course Tobio’s giving him extra attention.

He clears his throat. It’s not intentional, but Hinata looks up anyway. Tobio lets him meet his eyes first.

“What’s up?” Hinata asks curiously.

Tobio’s mind races through the possibilities. He’s thought a range of things while staring at Hinata, and his brain chooses and picks at one –

(he’s probably never had a girlfriend before. has a girl even confessed to him before? what kind of girl would like hinata? well, there are a few things – but that must mean he doesn’t have any experience. has he ever liked a girl? has he ever confessed to a girl?)

“Have you ever kissed a girl before?”

Tobio’s cheeks flare the moment the words come out. Because it’s intentional, yeah, but only intentional in the way that Tobio might set to him if there’s no other choice, or if the milk for the day is all out of the vending machine and he has to opt for another one.

Hinata blushes, too. What does he even have to blush for?

“Why are you asking me that?” he asks.

Tobio shrugs. Since Hinata’s reaction is pretty similar to his – well, at least Tobio can get away with this with a little dignity. “We’re both teenage boys,” he says. “I was just wondering.”

“Oh.” Hinata’s cheeks are still a little pink. “Well. N-No…”

He’s staring off to the side, legs folded. He’s abandoned his worksheet and his pen, and if Tobio weren’t so intrigued by the conversation he’d tell him to get back to his work. But it’s not like Tobio would, either.

“Or anyone,” Hinata clarifies, just as a second question rises at the tip of Tobio’s tongue. “I haven’t kissed anyone.”

Tobio nods. “Right,” he says. “Well. I haven’t, either.”

“Really?” Hinata’s eyes are wide. “I thought you would’ve had a girlfriend in middle school! Or a secret one that you’re keeping from the rest of us.”

His tone is teasing, but Tobio recognizes the way he leans in – like he wants to know the answer, anyway.

Tobio shakes his head.

“No girls have confessed to you, either?” Hinata looks like he can’t believe it, which is confusing. Tobio doesn’t really expect anyone to confess to him – something about the way Hinata keeps saying that he looks scary. But –

“But you’re so cool!” Hinata exclaims. “And you’re legendary when it comes to volleyball!”

Tobio yelps and kicks Hinata off the bed again – this time it’s on purpose. Hinata can’t say stuff like that to him straight to his face. “Don’t be embarrassing,” he says, as Hinata picks himself off the ground again. “I’m not – it’s not – ” He rubs the back of his head and glances at his feet. “I mean, girls don’t really care about volleyball, do they.”

“They should,” Hinata says vehemently.

“Anyway,” says Tobio, as Hinata adjusts himself back into a comfortable position on his bed. Hinata’s recent falling had knocked his homework to the ground. “I was thinking, since. Neither of us have kissed anyone before. Maybe we should try it.”

“Try what?” Hinata asks.

Tobio resists the urge to hit him off for the third time. Instead he just smacks him upside the head and says, “Kissing, dumbass!” and then feels his face heat up right after he says it.

“Oh.” Hinata stares up at him. “Really?”

“Yes!” Tobio doesn’t want to say it again.

“You…” Hinata looks like his head is still wrapping around the idea. “You’ll be my first kiss?”

“And you’ll be my first kiss, too,” Tobio snaps. Hinata’s talking like it’s a bad idea, which. Well, depending on how it could possibly go, it might be a bad idea. But Tobio’s chest burns with want, and if Hinata says yes – it could very much be a good idea, as well.

When Hinata continues tapping his fingers together and thinking, Tobio adds, “For experience’s sake, only. Since we’ve never kissed anyone before, we’re going to need to work on our skills in order for us to kiss other people and get better.”

“Kiss other people?” Hinata’s eyes get even bigger.

“Of course.” Tobio tries clearing his throat again. It’s not as loud or definitive as last time and kind of dies quickly. He disguises it with a cough. “You know, like in movies and dramas. When we’re older.”

“Oh,” says Hinata. His expression clears up. “Right. When we’re older.”

“Yes.”

“And we’re,” says Hinata. “We need some experience, in order to do well in the future.”

“Yes,” Tobio agrees.

Hinata clenches his fist. His face is suddenly bright. “This is just like volleyball!” he exclaims. “The more we practice, the better we get!”

“Yeah,” says Tobio, although his mind kind of backtracks and reels at the more we practice because – what? Tobio just kind of wants to try kissing Hinata once.

Hinata perches on his knees, balancing himself carefully, placing his palms in his lap. “Right,” he says. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this,” Tobio echoes. He sits on his feet, too, mimics Hinata’s position.

They stare at each other from across Tobio’s bed.

Hinata blinks at him. “Well?” he says. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

Tobio starts. His palms and fingers are sweaty. He rubs them against his thigh. “I thought this was more of a collaborative effort,” he says.

“Oh,” says Hinata. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Let’s lean in on three,” says Tobio. Hinata nods, and watches as Tobio counts.

“One… two… three.”

Hinata practically slams his entire body forward as Tobio attempts for a more graceful decline. Their foreheads bump together. Tobio falls back on his bed, and Hinata lands on his stomach.

“Ow!” says Tobio. “You moved too fast, dumbass!”

“You didn’t say that we were going to go slow!”

“Of course we are, neither of us have done this before!”

Tobio rubs his forehead as he sits back up. It still hurts a little, but his lips feel empty in the air with anticipation. Hinata’s already said yes, they should just get this over with.

“Okay,” says Tobio, and rolls his eyes. “Since you’re so eager to do this, then you can kiss me.”

“I am not eager,” says Hinata.

Tobio opens his mouth to perhaps lecture him – but before he can, Hinata’s already holding onto his shoulders, leaning in, landing lips-first on Tobio’s lips. His eyes are squeezed shut like he’s scared of what Tobio might look like when he does it. His lips, also, are pressed quite tightly together, and feel only like any other skin to skin contact, like their knees touching or knuckles on wrists.

Hinata pulls away. “How was that?” he asks.

Tobio stares at him.

“What the hell Hinata?” he shouts, and throws a pillow at him.

Hinata yelps as he avoids it, while also dangling over the edge of his bed.

“That was – completely – awful!” Tobio tries to maneuver around and hit Hinata properly with his pillow. He gets him on his third try. “Haven’t you seen movies and stuff?”

“Yeah!” Hinata falls back once Tobio’s done. “That’s how couples kiss.”

“I didn’t mean kissing like that,” says Tobio. “Anyone can do that. I mean like – ” He stops, as Hinata watches him, confusion clouding his gaze.

“Like anyone can spike a ball,” Tobio settles on. Hinata practically perks up at the comparison, but Tobio would be lying if he said that he wouldn’t understand so well without bringing in volleyball, either. “Theoretically. But it takes time and effort to know exactly when to spike, how much power to use, how high you have to jump to meet the setter’s goal.” Now that he thinks about it, the analogy’s not as good as he thought it might be. But Hinata’s nodding and following along, so that’s the goal.

“Anyone can jump and hit the ball,” says Tobio. “But spiking is a lot different than that. You don’t feel the same thing when you merely hit anything else than when you hit one of my sets, do you?”

“Nope!” says Hinata.

“So do you get it now?” asks Tobio. Hinata nods. “I guess – we should try to think of adults kissing in like, movies and stuff. Really deep and all that.”

“Yeah,” says Hinata. “I can imagine that. Let’s do this!”

His eyes flicker down to Tobio’s mouth. It makes Tobio’s chest burn with excitement again, and this time Hinata’s on his knees, leaning forward.

Tobio sits up straight so they’re eye level, says, “Okay.” He puts one hand at the back of Hinata’s head, and Hinata pushes himself forward, too, so their mouths meet.

This time Hinata feels like he’s anticipating. Tobio imagines that he does, too. The world is quiet around them. Tobio pulls back, and then kisses him again, because he’s seen people on tvs do that. He opens his mouth a little, even though Hinata’s lips are still closed. But they’re closed gently, not so tight like last time.

Tobio says against him, “Open your mouth.”

Hinata does. When Tobio presses them together again, pulls away again, Hinata blurts against his cheek, “Is this sanitary?”

Tobio wants to hit him. Instead, he says, “Shut up dumbass,” feels Hinata giggle into him as he closes the space between them once more.

Hinata’s lips are what Tobio imagines a girl’s might feel like – except, as he opens and closes against him, and Hinata follows through in rhythm, wouldn’t most lips feel the same? He can feel the slight dents where Hinata has a tendency to bite his bottom lip. Tobio remembers that he has a tongue, and swipes against that space.

Hinata gasps and pulls away. Tobio’s startled for a second, but Hinata’s only red-faced, like he’s embarrassed that’d happened.

“What was that?”

Tobio shrugs. “I,” he says. “Kissing?” he offers.

Hinata narrows his eyes – not like when he’s trying to figure out the answer to a math problem, but like he’s determined to have a one hundred percent success rate on spiking Tobio’s tosses. “Right,” he says, and leans over, practically crawls onto Tobio’s lap, closes his mouth onto Tobio’s.

Tobio tries not to jostle him off in surprise, because now that Hinata’s actually doing something, Tobio feels like he can just sit here and. Wait, as Hinata leads the pacing, evenly changing the angles as he kisses him, shoulders pressing into his, hands on the bed on either side of Tobio’s body. Hinata uses teeth and Tobio’s knees practically jolt into his stomach – he consciously moves them out of the way. Hinata’s teeth are on his bottom lip, and Tobio uses the opportunity to suck on his upper.

It’s then when Hinata lets out a noise – an embarrassing, guttural noise, that Tobio can feel coming at him, too, in waves at his pelvic area.

“Kageyama,” Hinata sighs, when they break apart. His eyes are a little hazy. The air between them is warm.

Hinata sits back on his feet and frowns at his arms. “I don’t know where to put my hands,” he says. “They hurt, and it feels weird when I don’t do anything.”

“Um,” says Tobio, and straightens his legs on his bed. Hinata moves to his side.

“Oh!” says Hinata, and then puts one of his legs on the other side of Tobio’s calves, so he’s crouching over them. “This might be better, right?”

“I – yeah.” Tobio doesn’t know what else to say, as Hinata moves himself so he’s hovering over Tobio’s thighs. Then he sits on them, a warm weight that makes Tobio’s chest ache with something both similar and different.

“Better for kissing,” he agrees, again.

Hinata beams when he touches Tobio’s cheek.

It is easier this time – less parts of Tobio don’t know what to do, as he leans back on his hands, lets Hinata’s teeth graze against his lips, flutter open and shut as Tobio mimics the rhythm. When Hinata opens his mouth again, Tobio touches the tip of his tongue inside, grazing briefly against the roof of Hinata’s mouth. Hinata makes a noise against him again. When Tobio starts to curl his tongue back, Hinata catches it with his lips, sucks tight between them, making Tobio lean forward and grab ahold of Hinata and he’s the one who lets out a groan, this time.

They pull away. Hinata’s grinning when he says, “Your hand’s on my butt.”

“I,” says Tobio, but it is, tucked between Hinata’s backside and Tobio’s knees. “Yeah,” is all he can say.

“This is,” says Hinata, and shifts. “A comfortable position.”

Tobio leans into him. He thinks about the noises Hinata had been making before, wondering if he can get him to make those noises again. This time Hinata tries using his tongue, shoving it so forcefully into Tobio’s mouth that Tobio almost bites at it. He draws at it with his teeth, sucking only lightly. Hinata whines deep in his throat.

When they kiss, and kiss again, Tobio opens his eyes by a crack, aims for the corner of Hinata’s mouth. Hinata giggles and murmurs, “You missed,” but Tobio goes for his chin, says, “Did I?” He kisses gently, eyes fixated on the smooth curve of Hinata’s neck.

He kisses there, and Hinata giggles again. “You know I’m ticklish,” he says, and his speaking makes his throat vibrate.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish here,” Tobio says.

Hinata continues laughing until Tobio opens his mouth, the flat front of his teeth digging into the softness of Hinata’s skin. Hinata gasps when Tobio closes his lips over it, and Tobio worries for a second that it might hurt until Hinata bucks into him. He sucks, a kind of loud and sloppy sound that Tobio would be more embarrassed by if Hinata doesn’t let out the breathiest moan at that moment, sending sparks straight down to, well.

Down.

Tobio pulls away. He’s a little startled that that had actually left a little red mark there, but. Tobio kind of likes the way it looks. That he’d put it on Hinata.

Hinata’s gaze is hazy, looking like he’s trying to recollect himself as Tobio does the same. Tobio clears his throat, and this time it works – it’s feeling kind of hoarse, anyway.

“This has been,” he says. “Good for experimenting. So far. Unless you want to stop.”

Hinata hesitates. Tobio’s not sure why, but he hopes he’s been persuasive – Hinata certainly has been, at least, with Tobio wanting to continue.

Hinata says, “I don’t think I’ve. Gotten enough experience yet.” He coughs. “Do you want to keep going until we do?”

Tobio’s chest burns with excitement. “Sure,” he says, tries not to read into the way Hinata beams at this, and presses their lips together yet again.

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