Asahi rang the doorbell and tried not to shiver. He had a bag of rice crackers in his hands he’d probably crushed on his way here. His schoolbag was over his shoulder just for show – Daichi would be annoyed if he came empty-handed. Asahi tended to prefer it when Daichi was punching him on the arm or throwing a grin over his shoulder.

Asahi’s middle warmed at the thought.

The front light turned on, and the door opened. Daichi stood there, eyebrows raised. His gaze flickered first to the bag of rice crackers, and then Asahi’s schoolbag.

Lastly it went to Asahi’s overnight bag, strap tightened in his other hand.

Daichi beamed. “Why’re you shivering?” he asked, moving aside. Asahi stepped in and took off his shoes. He set his overnight bag on the ground and shoved his hood off.

“W-What do you mean, why am I shivering?” He clenched his teeth to prevent the shakiness. “It’s snowing! And cold.”

“If you dressed warm enough, you wouldn’t have a need to shiver.”

But Daichi was helping him out of his jacket, especially when Asahi fumbled with the zipper, still wearing his oversized mittens. Daichi got it down easily, and Asahi wriggled it off.

“Thanks,” he said as it fell to the floor.

Daichi picked it up and hung it on the staircase railing. “Sure,” he said.

He turned around as Asahi was getting a pair of spare slippers on. Asahi glanced up the staircase worriedly.

“We’re not going to wake them up,” Daichi said, before he could say anything. “We’ve slept over here how many times now?”

About twenty times since first year, but Asahi didn’t say that. Instead he said, “I know, I was just thinking.”

“‘Course you were,” said Daichi, but he was smiling and didn’t sound sarcastic, and as soon as Asahi had righted himself he pushed him into a playful headlock. Asahi yelped and easily wrung himself free. Daichi was still smiling.

“C’mon, before Suga gets lonely,” he said, heading out the hall.

Asahi joined him, pulling his schoolbag over his shoulder, leaving his overnight bag in the parlor. They made their way to the living room, where Suga was, looking like he hadn’t moved since Asahi had last seen him – that was about a week ago. He didn’t look up as they walked in, but he did say, “Hi, Asahi.”

“Hi Suga.” Asahi sat himself at the table. Daichi had gone to the kitchen, which was conjoined behind them. “How’s the studying?”

“Studying,” Suga answered plainly.

Daichi came back, with two glasses of water. “Thanks,” Asahi said, as Daichi settled down next to him, placing the glasses on either side of his spot.

Asahi reached for the one closest to him, but Daichi kept his hand on it. “Hey,” he said. “Who said that one of these was for you?”

“I-I mean.” Asahi quickly pulled his hand back. “I assumed–”

“You made conclusions about my actions.”

“Daichi,” Suga cut in, before Asahi had a chance to respond.

Daichi sighed, and pushed the glass nearest Asahi to him. Asahi smiled and took it. Suga was still reading his textbook.

“I did get it for you,” Daichi said, after a beat.

Asahi rested his glass down. “I know.”

“I know you knew, I just wanted to let you know myself.”

Suga poked his head out from his book and said, “I know you guys are having a fascinating conversation, but if you want it to continue, do you mind taking it elsewhere?”

Daichi and Asahi glanced at each other and shut up. Suga returned to his book, propping it in front of him so his face was shielded from view.

After another minute, wherein Asahi stared into space and Daichi chugged down his water while reading his textbook, Suga put his book back down. “You made me want water too,” he said, glaring at them.

Asahi shrugged. Daichi was still focused on his textbook and shrugged like he hadn’t noticed, but as soon as Suga had gotten up and left the table, Daichi turned to watch him go.

“He’s stressed more than usual,” he observed. “Do you want to help him study?”

Asahi picked up his glass and gulped down the rest of his water. “Sure,” he said. “I’d rather do that than my break homework, anyway.”

Daichi narrowed his eyes at him. “Do your break homework, too,” he said, but Asahi pretended not to hear as he moved his cushion from Daichi’s side over to Suga’s.

When Suga came back, he stared at Asahi. Asahi stared back.

Suga shrugged and sat next to him.

Asahi asked, “Do you want me to help you study?”

“As if I’d say no to that.” Suga pushed his textbook toward Asahi, and placed a hand over the side of his face. “Quiz me on some of the stuff you read.”

Asahi did, pulling the book into his lap and cutting off the sentences he read for Suga to complete. After several Suga pointed out that he could read the book from his lap, so Asahi lifted it up and read for Suga that way. At one point Suga answered a question Asahi had thought was wrong, until Suga insisted that he was right and took the book from Asahi and pointed to the sentence he’d read wrong. Asahi snatched it back and said, “I’m the question maker!” and Suga laughed and reached over Asahi’s lap to get the book again. He fell onto him and Asahi pulled the book even further out of reach from him and laughed.

Daichi closed his book shut. “Now who’s distracting whom?” he said to the both of them.

They stopped. Suga sat back up, and Asahi tried to hand his book back to him. Suga shook his head and lifted his palm.

“It’s not my fault Asahi’s so distracting,” he said to Daichi.

Asahi’s cheeks flamed. “Sorry – ”

“Not,” Suga continued, “as something you have to apologize for.”

“You don’t,” Daichi agreed, when Asahi glanced over to him as well. “I guess we’re both just stressed and easily distracted.”

Suga nodded.

Asahi turned over the book in his hands. He asked Suga, “Do you want me to continue quizzing you? Or?”

Suga was peering over, probably to see the kitchen clock. “I can take a break,” he said, and started up again.

Asahi watched him. “Are you sure? I mean, your exam’s in a couple of weeks – ”

“Asahi.” Suga swiveled around. Asahi clamped his mouth shut. “Don’t worry about my own exam for me.” He smiled, and then extended his hand. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

Asahi took his hand and followed Suga into the kitchen. “I mean, I did, but it was a while ago,” he said, watching as Suga browed through the refrigerator.

Suga poked his head out from behind the door. “If you want to eat you can just say it.”

“Right,” Asahi said, and watched as he browsed through his refrigerator shelves.

Suga pulled out a few containers of tupperware, as well as a bottle of juice. Asahi was surprised until Suga said, “Daichi brought this,” and placed them on the counter.

He got utensils for Asahi and didn’t ask as he began to get cups; Asahi popped the lid off and started eating. Suga had always liked that Asahi liked eating leftovers cold. Asahi thought Suga was weird. Daichi thought that the both of them were weird.

When Suga finished pouring him juice, Asahi said, “Thanks,” and picked up his cup. They headed back to the living room and sat back across from Daichi. He glanced up at them for a moment.

“Is that my juice?” he asked, looking at Asahi’s cup.

“The communal juice,” Suga answered.

Daichi said, “Communal my ass,” but went back to his book. Asahi thought he saw a smile at the corner of his mouth and wondered what it was for.

He pushed his cup forward. “Do you want some, Daichi?”

“Nah.” Daichi shook his head. “I had plenty earlier.”

Suga had taken his book back and was now reading from it intently. Asahi suppressed a sigh, before going to pull his own schoolwork from his bag. That was the nice thing about when their futures didn’t quite align – they were still sitting here, studying, together.

Asahi had read about forty pages from his Japanese literature textbook before his eyes started to get droopy. He blinked and had to read the same kanji about five times before he actually understood it. Just as he was about to move onto the next sentence, he heard the book next to him snap closed.

Suga was holding his book spine-down, each hand on either cover. After a second, he said, “Bedtime, I think.”

“Yeah,” said Asahi, slowly moving to close his book too.

Daichi turned around to the clock. “I didn’t realized it’d gotten so late,” he said. “I don’t feel tired at all.”

“You probably will when you get up.” Asahi was bending his legs upright, going easy on his spine. His mother had always told him that he hunched over a lot. Daichi and Suga frequently told him so too. As did Nishinoya.

Daichi raised his eyebrows, closing his own books. “We’ll see about that,” he said, standing up immediately.

As soon as he did so, he let out a yawn that even if he tried to push back he probably couldn’t. Asahi giggled as he picked himself back up, pushing on the table for support. Suga was already stretching, the hem of his sweater rising and falling to show a sliver of his belly.

“Alright,” said Daichi, waving the yawn out of his body. “You win, Asahi.”

“You’re the one who’d challenged him in the first place.” Suga pulled at his forearms, letting out small cracking sounds from his elbow that Asahi cringed at.

Daichi did, too. “Can you not do that?” he asked.

Suga grinned and cracked his knuckles by Daichi’s ear. Daichi jumped back and shivered.

“That’s how you get more flexible,” Suga said practically.

Daichi said, “That’s a lie, I’m pretty sure it’s bad for your body.”

“And I’m pretty sure you’re wrong, Daichi.”

“Can’t we look it up?” Asahi pulled his schoolbag, now dry, to his shoulder. He placed his book back into it. When Daichi and Suga looked at him, he added, “You know, on the internet?”

“A groundbreaking idea,” said Suga. “Truly.”

“When we do,” said Daichi, reaching for his own bags which had been sitting at the side of the coffee table, “we’ll see that I’m right.”

“We’ll see that you’re wrong, you mean.” Suga stuck his tongue out as he ran out of the room.

Daichi started toward him but Suga said, “Asahi, fend him off for me!” Daichi began to run as soon as Suga did, but Asahi put himself in Daichi’s path, blocking his way.

Daichi grumbled. “Let me go,” he said, but he sounded kind of defeated, like he knew that Asahi would rather let Suga get away than let them lead into some sort of tackle and wrestling thing. Daichi usually instigated and won at those, anyway, even against Asahi.

Asahi shook his head. Daichi shrugged and said, “How much studying did you get done anyway?”

“Enough,” said Asahi, fumbling with his bag strap.

Daichi flicked the side of his face. He ignored when Asahi said, “Ow!”

“Just because you don’t have to study as much as Suga and I do doesn’t mean you can slack off,” he said.

“I didn’t, I haven’t!” Asahi said indignantly. “I’ve been studying a lot this break, you know – I mean, nothing compared to you guys of course – but – ”

Daichi’s laugh interrupted him. His shoulders relaxed, the features on his face gentler than they had earlier in the evening. Asahi’s nervousness unwound and he smiled.

“I always feel better when you’re here,” Daichi said. He was staring at the snow falling outside, so he didn’t see the heat that crept up to Asahi’s face. “I don’t think it’s because you’re not as stressed as we are, but who knows?”

“Um,” said Asahi, trying to tame the redness off his face. “I don’t?”

Daichi chuckled and met his eyes. Asahi’s cheeks were probably their normal tone again, because Daichi just said, “Don’t forget your stuff,” and pointed to Asahi’s overnight bag sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

Asahi picked it up and followed as Daichi led them upstairs. Suga was already brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and walked out as soon as their feet hit the landing.

“You’re sleeping in the middle tomorrow night,” he said to Asahi, through his bubbles of toothpaste.

Asahi self-consciously brought his overnight bag to his chest. “What? Why?”

“Do you not like sleeping in the middle?” Daichi rolled his eyes. Every time they slept over at Suga’s house, it was always on the floor with their heads next to each other, Suga’s bed pushed out of the way. One time they’d tried with one of them turned the other way, but in the morning Daichi had complained about waking up to Asahi’s smelly feet, and Asahi and Suga had complained about waking up to Daichi’s.

Asahi said, “I mean, how are we sleeping tonight?”

“Whosever birthday is the next day is in the middle.” Suga grinned, showing off his toothpaste foam. “So, Daichi tonight, tomorrow you.”

“Oh,” said Asahi. “Okay.”

He went to Suga’s room to unload his stuff. As he rifled through his bag, he felt like he was forgetting something and came back out.

“Hey,” he said, to where Daichi and Suga sounded like they were talking about how they counted the time for their brushing their teeth. “I think I forgot a toothbrush.”

Daichi rolled his eyes; but Suga was already opening the medicine cabinet. “You can borrow one of mine,” he said, his mouth now toothpaste-free.

Daichi said, “That’s kind of sharing germs, isn’t it?”

“Technically toothbrushes are supposed to get rid of your germs,” said Suga.

Asahi joined them in the bathroom. “But that means they get stuck to the toothbrush.”

Suga and Daichi turned to him.

Asahi added, “Right?”

Daichi grinned to Suga. Suga said, “Shut up and brush your teeth.”

Asahi did. Suga left, but Daichi pondered if he should take a shower, and Asahi said, “You mean when I’m done brushing my teeth?” Daichi said, no, he was going to now, and started pulling at his trousers. Asahi yelped and shielded his eyes and heard Daichi laugh, but when he uncovered his eyes again, saw that Daichi was still very much clothed and asked Asahi why he was afraid of his underwear. Asahi didn’t know what to say to that, mostly because his ears felt like they were on fire, and when Suga came back to ask them what was taking so long, Asahi spit out the toothpaste from his mouth and said Daichi almost started stripping for him.

Daichi buckled over in laughter. Asahi’s ears got even hotter. Suga told Daichi to shut up before they woke up his parents.

Eventuall, they’d changed into their pajamas with most of their dignity left (minus the part where Suga stole Daichi’s pants and Asahi’s shirt so they both smacked him with his own pillows until he’d give them back) and were nestled in their sleeping bags. Daichi insisted, “Suga, you should turn off the lights,” but he was still standing while Suga was mostly buried under his covers.

“But you’re up,” he pointed out.

Asahi stayed silent in his own sleeping bag. He remembered that Suga and Daichi were going to look up that knuckle cracking thing, but decided not to mention it.

Daichi sighed. “But it’s my birthday.”

“Not yet.”

So Daichi shut off the lights, and then wriggled between the both of them. Asahi was soft and warm before, but now it felt easier.

(The faint buzzing under his pillow woke him up. Asahi jerked up and shoved his hand under to turn it off. He quickly shut the bright screen that read 00:00 closed.

He poked the lump to his side. After a few more pokes, Daichi’s voice drowsily said, “Huh?”

“Happy birthday Daichi,” Asahi whispered.

He was only half-awake, but urged his eyes to find Daichi in the dark. Asahi was sure he saw him smiling.

“Go back to sleep,” came Daichi’s voice, so Asahi did, smiling too.)

In the morning Suga poked him awake, and put his finger over his own mouth and started creeping out of the room. Asahi scrambled up and followed. He heard Daichi grunt behind him and froze; but when he turned back around, saw that Daichi had just rolled over a little to where Suga’s sleeping bag was. Asahi covered his smile and retreated out.

Suga’s parents helped them make breakfast. When they heard footsteps upstairs and then the sound of a toilet flushing, they all stopped.

“Go,” Suga said, waving his hands toward Asahi.

Asahi lifted up his dirty mixing spoon. “But – ”

Suga took it from him. “Go,” he urged again, before taking over Asahi’s job.

Asahi wiped his hands on his shirt as he hurried out. Daichi was standing in the doorway of Suga’s bedroom, turning every so often, like he wasn’t fully awake yet and wondering why Asahi wasn’t the last one there.

Asahi said, “Daichi!” as soon as he reached the top of the staircase.

Daichi said, “Oh, there you are.”

“Morning,” said Asahi, “er.” He couldn’t really say happy birthday again, since he already had last night. Instead he just bodily shoved Daichi back into Suga’s room, and said, “Had a good sleep?”

Daichi frowned. “Yes,” he said. “Were you just down for breakfast? Shouldn’t we – ”

“I wasn’t.” Asahi hurried and closed the door to Suga’s bedroom. He stood in front of it.

Daichi narrowed his eyes.

“Asahi, move.”

“Uh.” Asahi glanced around. “No.”

Daichi sighed. “Asahi, move, I know you were just downstairs making breakfast with Suga, and – ”

Before he could continue, Asahi felt the doorknob jiggle behind him and quickly moved out of the way. Suga and his parents came in with Daichi’s breakfast, and Asahi joined in with them saying, “Surprise!”

“Yes, what a lovely surprise.” Daichi glanced up at Asahi, but his expression softened when he did. “Thanks.”

As Suga’s parents told Daichi what they’d made him and gushed about how the past three years had been, Asahi sidled by Suga. “That was quick,” he murmured.

“Well,” Suga said quietly. “We rushed, y’know. For show.”

“Sorry,” said Asahi. “I tried to keep him not suspicious, but I think he was as soon as he saw me.”

Suga chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he would’ve been if he saw me, too.”

Suga’s parents left them alone, and Asahi and Suga mooched off his plate as Daichi ate his breakfast. Daichi tried to bat them away until Suga said, “Technically it’s all of our breakfasts,” and Daichi said, “Yeah right,” and Asahi dipped his bun in the soup and Daichi tried to elbow him out of the way, nearly knocking the soup over from the tray. After that, Daichi agreed to let them steal off his tray at sizable amounts.

They left to Daichi’s after they got changed. Daichi mentioned in passing about Asahi being cold when he was out, and Suga offered Asahi one of his jackets. Asahi said, “I’m not really sure if it’ll fit?” but both Daichi and Suga said, “Take it,” at the same time, so he did.

It was a little tight across the chest, but Asahi shivered a lot less as they walked to Daichi’s house. Suga said, “It’s so nice of you to throw a new year’s party on your birthday, Daichi.”

“Isn’t it his birthday party?” Asahi asked, the same time Daichi said, “Oh, be quiet.”

Suga giggled at the both of them. “I wonder if any of the first years realized it’s Daichi’s birthday,” he said. “Maybe they’ll bring presents.”

“They should get me a high score on our exams.”

“Yeah, I could use that too.”

Suga put his hands in his pockets and smiled. “They better do well on their own exams so they can stay on the team, though,” he said.

Asahi nodded. “I think they will,” he said confidently. The first years hadn’t paved their way to nationals, but they’d certainly been a large piece, like a vital organ, the sunniest and rainiest parts of spring to bring a tree to fruition into the summer. It was winter now, but the photo in their school’s clubroom, at Tokyo stadium, felt like the bright heat Asahi always looked forward to.

He clung to himself in his coat. Daichi and Suga had moved on to talk about the afternoon.

“My mom will cry if we break another mug,” Daichi was saying.

Suga said, “Let’s stay in the living room then. If anyone gets hungry I’ll be the one to get them their food.”

“And by anyone–”

“–Tanaka and Nishinoya.” Suga paused for a second. “Maybe Kageyama.”

“We’ll have to eat the cake there, though,” said Daichi. “I don’t want to get the carpet dirty either.”

Suga’s eyebrows formed a worried line.

Asahi said, “What if we ate outside? I mean, I know it’s cold, but everyone should have their winter stuff, and it could be fun. Or interesting,” he added.

Suga bit his lip thoughtfully. “It could work,” he said. “I mean, despite the snow, not much could go wrong.”

They got to Daichi’s, greeted by his sister tackling him and not being home to wake up on his birthday for the second year in a row, while his mother gave him more cheerful greetings. They spent most of the morning cleaning Daichi’s house, which meant reshuffling what his mother and sister had already cleaned and pretending that they were being productive. Asahi got distracted by Daichi’s sister’s video games and after Suga joined him, Daichi only crossed his arms and watched them and complained that he’d already seen and played it so many times himself.

Nishinoya was the first to arrive, a little shy of noon. He tackled Daichi as soon as he saw him, yelling, “Happy birthday!” in English. He told Asahi that he would get his birthday hug tomorrow, and Suga asked, “What about me?”

“Okay you can get yours six months early,” Nishinoya said, ran to him. Suga laughed as he caught him.

Daichi rolled his eyes. Asahi sidled next to him.

The others came soon enough, bearing gifts, or – “Tsukishima-kun has our gift,” Hinata said, and Daichi arched an eyebrow. “We bought it together!”

“You did?” Suga said, clearly impressed.

Asahi was too. Kageyama nodded, and said, “Happy birthday Sawamura-san.” He smiled when Daichi thanked him, and awkwardly went over to join Hinata at the couch. The rest of them were playing with Daichi’s sister’s video games now. Daichi huffed.

“Hey!”

Asahi turned around to see Suga tugging Tanaka away from the refrigerator just as the door to it closed. Tanaka whined and said, “I just wanted to see the cake! It looks good.” He gave Daichi a thumbs up.

Daichi smacked him upside the head.

“We have a system,” Suga told Tanaka patiently. “And most of that involves you not touching the food or dishes first. Now go join the others.”

“Nah,” said Tanaka, glancing into the living room. “I’ve played that loads of times at home with Noya.”

Nishinoya was busy jumping up and down, trying to tell Hinata what to do in the game.

Suga pushed him anyway, and put a hand to his forehead. “This is like practices all over again,” he said, as the doorbell rang.

The rest of the invitees arrived, a surprising amount for walking – or in Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s case – driving in this weather. Even Yui showed up, bundled and teeth chattering, voice more high pitched than normal when she wished Daichi happy birthday at the door. Asahi could hear them from the front as they talked. He thought about last night, and later tonight, when it would be the three of them back at Suga’s again. He thought about tomorrow and Daichi.

Just short of noon and Daichi mentioned that they were going to eat outside, “For room and to keep the floor clean,” he added when his mom opened her mouth. She pursed her lips together but didn’t say anything. Asahi helped his sister take the cake out and put it on the table, and Suga warded off Nishinoya and Tanaka and Hinata as Daichi’s mother handed him a knife.

Asahi backed away from him. “I feel wary about you with that,” he said.

“Good.” Daichi raised it in the air.

Tanaka, from behind Suga, inched away as well.

They sang and the cake was divided. Daichi and his family and Suga ushered them out, Asahi sidelining Nishinoya as he jumped around about the cake and nearly knocked himself into a wall. “Thanks,” Nishinoya said, balancing the plate back on his palm. “This is what we’re going outside for, isn’t it?”

“Well not specifically,” Asahi tried.

Suga came over and said, “Yes.”

But Nishinoya laughed anyway and jostled himself outside. Asahi said, “We’re all kind of chaotic,” and when Suga shrugged, he added, “I mean, remember that one time you knocked over that photo frame?”

Suga hushed him violently and put his palm over Asahi’s mouth. Asahi stared at him.

“Look,” Suga whispered. “They still think it was a mouse, okay?”

“Still?” Asahi squawked, before Suga put his hand over his mouth again.

Against his palm, Asahi asked, “Did they call an exterminator?”

“Of course not.” Suga rolled his eyes and took his hand off. “They just believed me and are going to for the rest of their lives. Or forget about it.” He nudged Asahi’s shoulder. “Now eat your cake.”

Asahi did as he was told, watching as tiny snowflakes drifted onto it slowly, feeling much warmer now that the sun was out and he was with more people. Daichi and his sister were talking about something, as Tanaka tried to sidle his way into a conversation between Shimizu and Yui.

Asahi was about to take another bite when he felt something cold and solid hit his back. He yelped and turned around. Nishinoya was grinning.

“Noya!” Asahi cried.

Nishinoya just aimed another snowball, this time at the back of Tanaka’s head.

Tanaka shouted, “What the hell was that?” When he saw Nishinoya tossing another snowball up in the air, his face broke into a mischievous grin.

“Oh god,” Asahi heard Daichi moan as Tanaka dove for the ground just in time to miss Nishinoya’s second aim.

“Ha! You didn’t get – oof!”

“Keep your head up, Tanaka,” Nishinoya teased. “Or down, I guess, but keeping it up makes for better aim.”

“You guys.” Asahi flailed, waving his hands between them. “Don’t make a mess out of Daichi’s party – ”

He barely finished his thought when he was hit from both sides, one at his cheek, the other at his waist. Nishinoya said, “Ooh,” the same time Tanaka yelped, “Head shot!”

Asahi covered his face and ran back towards the front porch.

The others had turned to them now. Daichi was stomping over; Asahi could see the exact moment Tanaka and Nishinoya noticed that Daichi was holding two snowballs, because the grins slipped off their faces.

“You guys,” Daichi said, before pelting at the both of them.

It turned into a snowball fight for everyone, even Shimizu, Yui, and Tsukishima, though Hinata kept easily aiming his snowballs at Tsukishima’s face and Yamaguchi commented, “This is one of those sports where being tall is a bad thing.” At some point Kageyama began to toss snowballs to Hinata, which didn’t work at all because Hinata would smack them and spray them both with the snow. Shimizu was low key hitting Daichi and pretending she wasn’t. Asahi and Suga giggled from the front porch.

“I’d think you’d want to join the chaos,” Suga said to him.

“Me? Really?” Asahi’s neck got warm, and he wondered what in the world he must’ve said or done to make Suga think that.

Suga laughed. “By association, maybe,” he said. “I suppose I could go in too.” He perched his chin on a gloved fist and watched the others.

Asahi shrugged. “I’ll go if you go.”

“The question is,” said Suga. “Do we assist Daichi or do we attack him?”

They ended up doing both – Suga, anyway. Asahi made three excellent aims, one of which was at Hinata’s face, before he decided that he’d rather watch and laugh at the way Suga would glare whenever he got hit, and the way Daichi would just run through the field of snowballs to go for whoever was aiming at him.

Two plates ended up getting broken and when they went back inside, Asahi found that his underwear was very wet and that he wasn’t alone. When the others whined, though, Daichi told them to go home. Once they were gone, Suga said, “I call first dibs on the shower,” and Daichi said, “It’s my birthday and my house.”

Asahi joked, “What if we all went in at the same time?”

They both turned to him, then to each other, and then punched Asahi on either shoulder. Asahi squeaked in pain.

“He’s going last,” Daichi said.

Suga broke the silence with, “We’re almost done.”

It didn’t feel like it. But it did, when earlier Narita had asked them how their studying was going and Asahi had shrugged while Daichi and Suga had moaned. It was their last time for a lot of things.

Asahi rubbed his hand over his stomach. Daichi and Suga were on either side of him, and from the corner of his eye he could see the slow rise and fall of their chests. Suga’s bedroom ceiling had tiny glow in the dark star stickers that he’d bought on an outing with Asahi before.

Asahi watched how even after a little over a year and they still stuck and glowed. “I thought you didn’t like being sentimental,” he said.

He heard Suga’s head turn to the side, probably to look at him. “Asahi,” said Suga, but he sounded more fond than anything.

Asahi threw him a quick glance.

From the other side, Daichi whacked him, landing on Asahi’s hands crossed over stomach. Asahi exclaimed, “Ow!” while Daichi said, “Let Suga continue.”

“Thank you, Daichi,” said Suga, but Asahi was still looking at his face. Suga was smiling, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes shining in the moonlight. Asahi found his lips curving, too.

“I mean,” Daichi said, from the other side of Asahi. “We are almost done. We are done, with volleyball.”

“Volleyball,” Asahi muttered, turning back to stare at the ceiling.

“I can’t believe you guys have spent the last day of the past two years in my room.” Suga had turned on his side again, but Asahi felt like he was trying to see past him to look at Daichi too, so he didn’t face him back.

He felt Daichi glance toward the middle too. “I can,” he said.

“I can’t believe we lost two plates out in the snow today,” said Asahi, and they both snorted from either side of him.

“Yeah,” said Daichi, rolling over to face Asahi too. “All thanks to your brilliant idea.”

Asahi sputtered. “It wasn’t my – my fault – !”

“If I recall correctly,” said Suga, “you were the one who suggested we eat outside.”

“I didn’t tell people to lose their plates though!”

“I don’t think we’ll do that again,” Daichi said, and Suga laughed.

Asahi couldn’t help himself. He laughed, too.

(There was a small jab at his back and the softest, “Hey.”

Asahi cracked his eyes open. He was on his side, staring at Suga’s sleeping face. The poke came again, between his shoulder blades.

Asahi turned over.

“Happy birthday,” Daichi whispered.

Asahi smiled sleepily against his arm. “Happy new year,” he said, and then, “You stole that idea from me.”

“You started it,” said Daichi, which in Asahi’s brain didn’t make any sense, but maybe he was too sleepy to make much sense of it.

“I,” was all he could remember saying, and wasn’t sure if he tried for any coherent words after that, because the sound of Suga snoring and the dim outline of Daichi’s face was enough to put him back to sleep.)

It was Suga’s idea to go, even though the university exams were in less than a week, and the snow piled on the roads even after they’d gone back to school. Asahi had said yes and Daichi said, “What about our exams?” and Suga asked, “Don’t you care about tradition?”

“I care about the tradition of studying more the sooner an exam is,” said Daichi. “Especially when it’s on the day of the exam.”

But he fell into step with them as they headed to lunch, so it wasn’t exactly a no.

“Besides,” said Suga, as they sat themselves at a table. “I heard that Tanaka was going to participate this year.”

Daichi raised his eyebrows and unwrapped his food. “Tanaka? Really?”

“Well it’s not that surprising when you think about it,” Asahi said.

“I thought they had age limits for those kinds of things.” Daichi took a sip of his drink. “Don’t they?”

Suga shrugged. “I don’t know, but I hope this means you’re going,” he said to Daichi, waving his chopsticks at him. “Even if it is just to see Tanaka half-naked in the winter.”

They didn’t exactly have the best of luck that Dontosai fell on the same weekend of the university admissions test. Asahi texted them good luck in the morning, and Suga replied that he hoped to see Asahi later that evening. Asahi asked if Daichi was coming, too.

He better, or else I’ll kick his ass tomorrow.

Asahi figured that Daichi would, mostly because he’d always suspected that the both of them were much more sentimental than they let on. He’d already told his parents, who were delighted to go, and his siblings kept giggling ever since Asahi mentioned the half-naked people. The moment they arrived at the shrine, Asahi received a text from Daichi saying, Where the hell are you? Suga and I are already here.

They managed to navigate their way through the crowd to find each other and their families. Asahi beamed once he saw them; Suga looked snug in his scarf, while Daichi looked disgruntled.

“We literally have an exam tomorrow,” he was saying to Suga. Asahi suspected that’s all he’d been saying since he’d gotten here.

Suga said, “Asahi!” instead and beamed at him.

Asahi beamed back. “How did your exams go?” he asked.

Daichi and Suga glanced at each other, and then said, “Let’s not talk about it.”

“How was your exam-free day?” Daichi asked.

Asahi wondered what the correct answer was. “It was… exam… free…?”

Daichi rolled his eyes, but Suga clapped Asahi on the shoulder and said, “Glad to hear it.” Asahi gave him a trying smile as the parade started.

Tanaka was not in the line of half-naked people, but he did find them, his own family in tow. “My sister wouldn’t let me,” he grumbled as Suga opened his mouth.

Saeko called from behind him, “Wait a little longer till you’ve got muscle to brave this weather, Ryuu!”

“I’ve got plenty of muscle,” Tanaka called back, and the rest of them laughed.

They followed the line, past the street vendors to the shrine, straggling every so often when one of their siblings (usually one of Asahi’s) got distracted by the displays or the food. At one point Saeko had stopped to buy herself some barbecue and everyone panicked for about five minutes until she came back, delightedly gobbling the meat on her stick. Tanaka barked at her for not saying anything and proceeded to try to steal some of her barbecue, but she jerked it away with one hand, hitting her brother on the head with the other.

When they arrived at the bonfire, their parents broke away to talk and to keep Asahi’s siblings from the fire, while the rest of them headed towards it, carrying their families’ decorations. Daichi’s and Tanaka’s sisters paired off to talk as well. Asahi watched as the flames licked against each other and crackled.

“If I’m going to wish for anything,” said Daichi, “it’s just for exams to go well.”

“Same.” Suga was swinging his family’s lantern at his side, gaze fixed on the fire.

“Y’know what I want?” said Tanaka. “To go to nationals again next year. And win!”

They laughed. Asahi hadn’t been very cold before, but now he felt even warmer, with the fire so close to him. Or maybe it was his friends by his side. But it was probably the fire.

Suga turned to him. “What are you thinking about, Asahi?”

“Oh,” said Asahi, and the heat rose to his cheeks. “Mostly just, uh, you guys. Going off and stuff, y’know.”

Suga laughed. Daichi said, “You sound worried, Asahi,” and Asahi stuttered, “N-No, I’m not!” because he wasn’t, he was glad that they were here now, with him, before they left.

Tanaka said, “There’s nothing to worry about,” and pat him on the back.

“Tanaka, remember to keep your grades up next year so you can go to nationals again,” said Daichi.

Tanaka quickly stiffened. “Yes Daichi,” he said.

Suga said to Daichi, “Don’t make me call you Negative No-beard.”

They each took their turns throwing their decorations in the fire. Asahi went last, feeling kind of weird for burning his family’s lamp, but mostly because his parents let him pick it and now it was burning into darkness in front of his eyes. Asahi watched it catch fire as soon as it hit, and fizzle away.

He stepped back to join the others. Suga nudged him from the side.

“Hey,” he said. “Don’t think too much about us leaving, okay?”

It was kind of hard not to when it was soon. Asahi knew it wasn’t the end of the world, but it was the end of – something. But right now was the end of something too.

He turned from staring at the bonfire, and smiled at Suga. “Okay,” he said.

Asahi had figured for a while that it was best for him to not do anything after high school, at least immediately. Mostly because he wasn’t quite ready to leave, and partially because he’d rather help his family out at home. He continued helping out at volleyball practices, even though Daichi teased him for looking even older for being the only somewhat active third year on the team. Asahi blushed but told himself that it didn’t have to be a bad thing.

The prefectural tournament was in March, and by that time they would have all graduated already. At one of the practices, after Asahi had spiked gracefully over the net and Tanaka and Nishinoya and Hinata showered him with loud congratulations, they heard a voice from the doorway say, “Don’t get used to it.”

They swiveled around to see Daichi standing there, in his school uniform, bag over his shoulder.

Asahi exclaimed, “D-Daichi!” while Tanaka and Nishinoya ran over to him.

Nishinoya asked eagerly, “Are you going to join us too, Daichi-san?”

“It’s been so long,” Tanaka moaned, grappling at his legs.

Daichi kicked him off. “It’s been a day since you last saw me,” he said.

“Yeah, but not since you last practiced with us!”

“I just said don’t get used to him.” Daichi nodded over to Asahi. Asahi rubbed his arms self-consciously. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah!” said Nishinoya. “We can play a four-on-four or something. I’ll be on your team!”

Daichi glanced over to Ennoshita, who was watching a little ways off. “What do you think, captain?” he asked.

Ennoshita smiled. “They could use more practice,” he answered.

He divided them up, Nishinoya and Tsukishima with Daichi and Asahi, while Ennoshita, Tanaka, Kageyama, and Hinata were on the other side of the net. Asahi had been practicing lately to help Nishinoya with his setting even more, and they’d improved drastically since he’d started, even though for a while Nishinoya knew only how to set to him. But he’d been learning how Tsukishima and Tanaka spiked, and despite being horribly out of sync, he and Hinata had been practicing, too.

Asahi and Daichi won, though not by much, both teams breaking into the twenties for both sets. Daichi was panting more than usual when they were done. Nishinoya clapped him on the back, and Asahi offered him his water bottle.

“That’s the most workout I’ve done in a while,” Daichi said, accepting it. He chugged a good portion down.

Asahi caught himself staring at a trickle of sweat from Daichi’s ear down his neck. “You always told me to stay in shape when I wasn’t practicing,” he said, turning away.

Daichi bumped Asahi’s shoulder with the end of his water bottle. “I did,” he said, handing it back.

Tsukishima and Nishinoya were going to the other side of the net, where Ukai-san had called them over to give them pointers from their practice game. Asahi took a swig from his own water bottle.

Daichi sighed, but it sounded more relieved than anything. “The path we paved,” Asahi heard him mutter to himself.

“We,” said Asahi, after swallowing his water. “You mean the collective ‘we’, right?”

Daichi rolled his eyes. “No, by ‘we’ I meant ‘I,'” he said, and it took Asahi a moment to realize that Daichi was being sarcastic and thought he meant something else.

“No, I mean,” Asahi said. “‘We’ as in the team? Or – ?”

“Oh,” said Daichi, and grinned. “I mean, the team did do a lot, and it’s not like we could’ve done this all on our own. Especially without Ukai-sensei. But,” he said, “we’ve been here since our first year. I think we deserve some credit.”

Asahi’s heart leapt at the proud way he had his arms crossed, watching the first- and second-years and Ukai-san and Takeda all on the other side of the net. He hadn’t seen them from this angle before.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

They spent the last couple of weeks of January cramming, getting out from school even later than they had for volleyball. Asahi cried twice because of the stress, and Suga patted him on the back while wiping his own face. He knew that these were the last exams he’d have to take in a while, but he didn’t exactly want to end on a bad note.

As soon as their exams and January were over Asahi wanted to cry again. Daichi said, “Really,” when he saw Asahi come out of his classroom, but he had his nose crinkled too, like he was trying not to cry out of his own relief.

Dignity be damned, Asahi ran over and threw his arms around Daichi. “We’re done!” he cried. “We’re done and I’m alive! We’re alive!”

“You,” said Daichi, patting him on the back with one hand, “need to calm down.” But his hand rested around him like he was returning the hug.

Asahi felt the emotions welling up again.

“Where’s Suga?” he asked when he pulled back.

Daichi jerked his thumb behind him. “Restroom,” he said.

Suga came out a few minutes after, eyes red-rimmed but expression breaking into a glow when he saw them waiting outside. “You guys,” he said, raising his hands; Asahi and Daichi went in for a high five, but instead Suga slapped Daichi upside the head and punched Asahi in the shoulder.

“We did it,” he said, while they rubbed at the spots where he’d hit them. He slung his arms over their shoulders.

Asahi caught Daichi’s eye from Suga’s other side and they exchanged a grin.

Then they heard Shimizu say, “Suga, Asahi, Daichi,” and it was the tears all over again, even for Daichi.

For the days that followed it was weird to not wake up early to his alarm, even from the past few weeks of cramming. But Asahi liked watching the way the sun rose while he was still in bed, waking up at twenty minute intervals, getting his body to a schedule that was no longer aligned with a routine that he used to have. He imagined that Suga and Daichi had begun packing for university; they hadn’t asked him to help out, and Asahi was glad. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

February meant that the snow would only start to melt before it would start falling again. Asahi sighed as he woke up one morning to flurries batting lightly against his window, the walkway that he’d paved yesterday covered with a fresh white coat. He got up, pulled on his waterproof trousers and jacket, and started toward the storage closet.

“Oh,” he said as he pulled out the shovel and it fell to the ground, what had once been the handle still in his hands. He must’ve worked it too hard yesterday. He picked the shovel up and tried to fix the socket back on, but it wasn’t that style – it’d simply popped off from yesterday’s force and was too loose to repair.

Asahi sighed and headed toward the trash can. His mother scolded him when he explained what happened, and a couple of his siblings oohed from the dining table. Asahi told her that he could go out and buy a new one, and his mother handed him some money and told him to be careful when he walked.

Asahi tried. It was easy in the snow, damp and cushiony, so as long as he didn’t start too fast. As soon as he got to the road he concentrated on his feet. It wasn’t even that icy, but he found himself wavering every once in a while, like he was about to fall.

He was so focused on staring at the ground that he didn’t look forward enough when his head hit against someone. “Sorry,” he said, but as he looked up, he lost his balance and flailed.

Daichi caught his arm, apparently the person he’d bumped into. “Look where you’re going, Asahi,” he said, though not with venom. He grinned. “Where are you going?”

“Into town,” Asahi answered. “I accidentally broke the shovel that we use for paving our walkway.”

“Of course you did.”

Asahi didn’t ask what that meant. The smile remained on Daichi’s face.

“Well I need to go into town too, to buy some measuring tape and all that,” he said.

Asahi asked, “What for?” before he remembered, oh, right, the packing up for university thing.

“I’m moving in a few months,” said Daichi, traces of amusement in his voice. “Don’t tell me you forgot already.”

“I-I didn’t! I just remembered.”

They made their way into town, Asahi a little more steady on his feet now that Daichi was with him. As they walked past the shop windows, pink lights and heart decorations glowed at them from inside the glass. Asahi practically jumped when he realized the date.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Hm.” Daichi pulled out his cellphone and flipped it open. “You’re right.”

Asahi chuckled. “Being on break is weird,” he said. “I haven’t lost track of time this quickly before.”

Daichi thumped him on the back. When Asahi jumped, he said, “Don’t slack off,” and Asahi said, “Okay, okay, I won’t!” But Daichi stayed close by him and under the Valentine’s Day decorations, Asahi felt his body warm.

They found the appliance store and walked in, greeted by a worker. As they browsed the walls, Daichi said, “I can’t believe we don’t have measuring tape in our house.”

“Me neither,” said Asahi, following him to where the toolkit items were. “Maybe you did and just lost it?”

“That’s possible.” Daichi was pulling packs off the shelves and reading the labels on the back.

Asahi did too, until Daichi shot him a sidelong glance and said, “What are you doing?”

Asahi hastily put back the roll that he was holding. “Helping you?” he tried, raising his shoulders.

“I know what I’m looking for, don’t worry.” Daichi waved him off. “You go look for your shovel. And look for a type that you won’t break as easily.”

“Yeah. I mean, I will,” said Asahi, and rushed away.

He found the shovels after asking an employee who seemed happier to help than annoyed that Asahi had missed them in an obvious place. Asahi was grateful and stared at the shovels, wondering which one he should get. The ones with sockets wouldn’t do – Asahi might just break the handle off again. He eyed the wooden ones for a bit, before realizing that if Noya’s body weight could splint wood, then his upper body strength might as well. The more he stared at the shovels, the more fussy he got, and he was berating himself for getting fussy when Daichi appeared into the aisle.

“Got your shovel?” he said, before, “I guess not.”

“I’m trying to find one that I won’t break,” said Asahi, and wrung his hands.

Daichi took a metal one without a socket and said, “How about this one?”

“Oh.” Asahi’s cheeks warmed, and he took it from him. “Thanks.”

They paid and headed out the door, to be met with a face full of snowflakes and cold air. Asahi yelled as Daichi glanced up at the sky.

“It’s getting heavier,” he observed.

Asahi clung to the shovel in his bag. “I know,” he said, shaking the snow out of his face.

Daichi chuckled and patted some of the snow from where it had caught in Asahi’s eyelashes. Asahi yelled again and said, “You poked my eye!”

“Close your eyes, I’m trying to help.”

Asahi did as he was told. Daichi cleared up his face, before wiping at his own.

“C’mon,” he said. “I live closer, we can stay there for a bit until it lets up.”

They tried to walk against the wind, but it just got stronger by the minute. After a couple of blocks, Daichi nodded toward a bright pink glowing shop and said, “Let’s stop in here.” Asahi nodded and, arms and bags across their chest, they ducked in.

Asahi shook himself off. Daichi was gazing around. They were in a corner store, decorated for the holiday. Daichi pointed to some baubles hanging from the ceiling and said, “Interesting.”

Asahi shrugged. “I hope we get home soon.” He clung to the shovel in his hands.

Daichi glanced at it. “Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad,” he said, pointing out the window. “It’ll let up soon. It’s not like your family’s gonna be locked inside your house if you don’t pave the walkway.”

But even though Daichi said it, the snow didn’t let up at all. In fact, it seemed to get worse, along with the wind which they watched knock over a pedestrian on the sidewalk. Asahi wanted to go out and help, but Daichi called him stupid and blocked his way and said that if he went out now, he would get hypothermia in five minutes.

Still, though, the wind continued, to the point where the lights in the corner store began to flicker. No one paid them any mind until they went out, drenching the store in darkness.

There was a high-pitched scream.

“Oh my god,” Daichi said, swatting at Asahi. “Calm down.”

Asahi leapt out of his way. “That wasn’t me!”

The manager had come out from the back and was now climbing onto the counter at the front. “Due to electrical issues,” he shouted into the fray, “we are now closing. Please exit the building.”

There was a chorus of groans and complaints. Even Asahi couldn’t help himself from glaring as he and Daichi pushed their way out the door. The good thing about him holding the shovel was that not a lot of people wanted to push in front of him, so they were easily among the first out.

Asahi turned back as the wind pierced his face. Now that the electricity was out, the store looked kind of ominous, with the unlit decorations and dark hearts everywhere.

“Alright,” said Daichi, tightening his arms around himself. “We’re going to have to sprint to my house.”

“Okay,” Asahi agreed.

They started down the road, caked with snow, trying to find the balance between not falling and not getting too much snow in their shoes while running as fast as they could. Asahi fell first, which was not a surprise. Daichi straggled back to help him up.

“Keep your knees up,” he shouted over the howl of the wind.

Asahi shouted back, “How’s that supposed to help?”

He watched as Daichi kept a good space between his feet as he jogged. Asahi thought for a second there was something to it, until Daichi fell flat on his face as well.

This time Asahi went to help him up. “Maybe we should just run as fast as we can,” he suggested.

Daichi spat out the snow that had gotten into his mouth. His eyes were tight, and he batted the snow from his face and said, “Good idea!”

Asahi clung to his shovel as he ran. “You know,” he said, next to Daichi. “I could just try to shovel all of this out of the way.”

Daichi threw his head back and laughed. “Good idea,” he said against the snow. “It’s not like it’ll just blow back into place.”

“You can shield it while I shovel,” Asahi said, and Daichi laughed again.

“Hey,” he said, after a loud whistle nearly knocked the both of them over. Asahi couldn’t feel his nose or cheeks or even his ears, which were drenched under his hair, anymore. “We should race to my house.”

“What?” Asahi squawked, but Daichi cackled and started away. He ended up falling over after several paces, and Asahi jogged up to him to help him up.

“Our shoes don’t have any traction in the snow,” he said, while Daichi brushed himself off. “Are you sure you want to race?”

Daichi grinned. “Definitely,” he said, and took off again.

Asahi usually didn’t give into bait for races, especially from Daichi of all people. But maybe it was the lack of feeling in most of his body and the snow whipping around them and the need to get more heat in his body that made Asahi chase after him with all the strength he could. As soon as he fell down and started picking himself up, it occurred to him that it could just be Daichi, too – Daichi, pink-faced and turning back to glance at him every once in a while and falling just as often as he did.

Asahi tripped and nearly hit himself between the legs with his shovel. Daichi laughed at him a second before landing on his own face over himself.

“That’s what you get!” Asahi tried to yell, but he couldn’t tell if Daichi was grinning back because of the taunt or because of the race.

“This is unfair,” Asahi called, as Daichi sprinted, “I’m holding a shovel!”

“You agreed to this,” Daichi said. His house was in view, but he kept looking at Asahi. Asahi fell over again.

“It’s not like,” Asahi panted, “your measuring tape is obstructing your ability to run.”

“Too bad,” Daichi shouted back.

Asahi put his hands on his knees to catch his breath, and then diverted his focus to his feet. He started again, this time making sure each step he took was steady, and didn’t fall over in just a few steps like he used to.

“Oh, you caught up,” said Daichi’s voice, somewhere next to him.

Asahi didn’t look at him. Instead he pushed Daichi lightly, hearing him sputter and land in the snow with a small thump! Asahi hid a smile behind his glove – he’d only meant to throw Daichi off, and not very literally. Evidently it was easy for Daichi to lose his balance.

“Hey!” he heard Daichi yell, and Asahi took off again, falling like he usually did. He looked over his shoulder to see Daichi had as well, and scrambled back up and headed toward Daichi’s house.

Asahi burst through the front door, his mind immediately going to Daichi’s bedroom, where sometimes they used to sleepover with Suga and any combination of the others. In retrospect he should’ve headed for the bathroom, but then he was in Daichi’s room, thinking about getting warm, realizing that it wasn’t like he could shake Daichi off in his own house, did he even want to anyway, oh, there was Daichi’s nice warm bed where he could get the blankets cold if he dove in.

He didn’t get the chance to, though, because Daichi slammed the door open, because Asahi hadn’t had the mind to shut it. He let out some weird sort of yell and said, “I got you!” and tackled Asahi into his bed.

Asahi laughed. He was panting, and even though Daichi was on top of him he managed to roll over. “You,” he said, the same time Daichi breathed out, again, “I got you.”

Daichi was grinning and Asahi was laughing and somewhere in between that the gap between them closed. Their mouths slotted together and Asahi felt the adrenaline pulsating through his body as Daichi licked at him, not quite opening his mouth, and Asahi parted his lips, because Daichi tasted a little bit like leek and soy sauce and Asahi was sitting back up as Daichi gasped into him, hand on one of Asahi’s thighs as Asahi instinctively brought his own to Daichi’s shoulder, and–

Kissed.

Asahi broke away. He could feel the energy draining from his body as his senses focused on his tongue, and he tasted Daichi in his mouth again. Daichi’s eyes were still half-closed and his mouth was half-open, and he opened his eyes and closed his mouth.

Asahi stood up.

“I should go,” he said.

“What?” Daichi still looked dazed. But when he saw Asahi heading toward his door, he said, “Oh – wait.”

Asahi turned around.

“I,” he said.

Daichi’s lips were dark. Asahi didn’t want to think about how he was the one who did that.

“It’s,” Daichi said, “bad outside. You need to shower, and get warm, at least wait until the–”

“N-No.” Asahi was opening the door now. “I really. I need to go.”

His throat was constricting. The adrenaline returned, but this time in his middle, pressing against his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. Daichi was still staring at him, and Asahi didn’t want to think about what he might be thinking – that he’d kissed him, that Asahi had kissed him back, that they were – that this was –

“Asahi,” Daichi said, instead of some sort of fake insult.

Asahi turned and ran, not really looking, tripping twice on his way downstairs. He ran back out into the blizzard, trying to feel the cold in his face. But it lay somewhere in his middle, squeezing his stomach, like he’d left the heat back in Daichi’s bedroom.

It wasn’t nearly as cold on the day of graduation. The snow was starting to melt for longer periods, and it had today, gleaming on the wires outside of the school.

When Asahi arrived, he tried to find his class before he found Daichi and Suga. It didn’t work. He saw the both of them sitting next to each other in their homeroom class, and it felt like his insides were twisting and tightening together.

He tried to divert his attention to the classes behind them. One of his classmates started talking to him, and Asahi pretended that he wasn’t looking at someone else from the corner of his eye.

The ceremony started. When Asahi’s name was called up, he smiled at the sound of whooping from the second years. His eyes found Daichi’s all too easily. He pretended he was looking at Suga instead.

The same whooping came when Daichi and Suga were called up – doubled in noise, when it was Shimizu’s turn. Asahi clapped and flinched when Daichi’s gaze met his. But it wasn’t hard. Asahi wasn’t sure how to read it.

He knew he couldn’t get away once the ceremony was over; Suga came over to him, Daichi trailing behind, and lifted up his diploma victoriously. Asahi laughed and hit it with his own.

“Congratulations to the two of you,” said Suga, and brought them into a hug.

The top of his head that bumped against Daichi’s burned. “You too,” said Asahi, trying so hard to meet Daichi’s gaze, except not.

“Yeah,” said Daichi.

Asahi wished he could tell what part of him Daichi was looking at.

“Look,” said Suga, and both of them shot their heads up. Aside from Yui and Shimizu and Yachi, who were talking and slowly making their way towards them, the rest of the volleyball team was heading towards them as well.

Asahi wondered if he was the first to notice that Daichi disappeared to talk to a classmate who walked by. Nishinoya had jumped on Suga, yelling, “CONGRATULATIONS EX-THIRD YEAR,” while Suga was laughing and hitching his arms under Nishinoya’s legs.

“You guys are so old,” Hinata said, staring at their diplomas with glittery eyes.

Kageyama nudged him. “Don’t say that, they’re not that old.”

“We’re,” said Asahi, as Hinata went to retort. “We’re still the same amount older than you as we were before.”

Nishinoya jumped on Asahi this time, and Asahi let out a small cry. Suga was dragging Tanaka away from Shimizu, something about an “older women” comment.

Nishinoya said into Asahi’s ear, “You better come to the prefectural tournament,” and Asahi whined, “Don’t talk so loud.”

As the gym fizzled out, the first and second years said goodbye and headed back to their class. Suga grinned at Asahi for a moment, before saying, “Where’s Daichi?”

“Oh.” Asahi looked around and shrugged. A few other graduates were lingering, talking with their teachers. Asahi’s grip tightened on his diploma. “I don’t know.”

“Oh well,” said Suga. “Hey, do you want to get lunch?”

“Sure,” said Asahi, and fell into step with him. As they headed out of the auditorium, he said, “Like a last meal together or something.”

Suga shot him a look. “We’re not dying,” he said, and pushed his way through the doors first. “We’re just getting lunch.”

“I know,” said Asahi.

Suga scoffed. They made their way out of the building; the ground was damp and there were small piles of snow still waiting to melt. Precipitation clung to the grass like it was dawn. Asahi didn’t want to think about summer.

“Do you know when Daichi’s leaving?” he asked, and Suga shook his head.

“We can ask him if he comes to lunch,” he said, and waved his cellphone. “I just texted him.”

Asahi’s stomach did a funny flip. “Oh,” he said. He tried not to think about last times, times that he thought would be last until he remembered graduation. Tried not to think about not meeting Daichi’s eyes, Daichi not being here now.

When they got to the place where Suga wanted to eat, Suga’s phone dinged. He picked it up and frowned.

“Daichi says that he already made plans,” he said. “I’m going to ask when he’s leaving since I wanna know too.” He typed on his keypad, and then pocked his phone away again. “I didn’t realize our Daichi was so popular.”

“I,” said Asahi. For a second he thought about saying something, and then decided not to. “Maybe he has plans with his family.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” said Suga.

They ordered and went to sit down. As they did, Suga said, “You can help me pack and whatnot until I leave. We can get lunch then too.”

“So this won’t be our last time together?”

Suga rolled his eyes. “Of course not. You weren’t planning on just saying goodbye to us and then not seeing us off, were you?”

Asahi tried not react to the word us, and smiled a little through his drink. “Okay,” he said, because it made Suga smile too, and they began on their food.

Daichi didn’t text Suga back during the meal, but Asahi quickly forgot about that – Suga started talking about how he’d scoped out his apartment for his university, and the shops and restaurants nearby, and how Asahi should visit and Asahi said that he wanted to, even though he wasn’t sure if his parents would let him now that he was helping out with his siblings. Suga said, “That means I’m coming back for all my breaks, doesn’t it?” and there was a happy warmth at Asahi’s stomach.

It continued as Suga texted him over the next couple of weeks, even though he didn’t need Asahi’s help with anything during that time – apparently he and his parents were working out more university things, and Asahi smiled whenever Suga sent him a message of complaint or a declaration of victory. He frequented Karasuno in the afternoons to help the first- and second-years practice, and watched as they just barely lost to Datekou in the prefectural games. Most of the time he was running errands for his parents, though, taking care of his siblings, running into old classmates every once in a while, like he had back in February. It snowed again, a week after they’d graduated. When it just began to melt, Asahi got a text from Suga telling him to come to the train station.

The others were there as well, including Daichi. Asahi watched as he drew himself into a conversation with Yui.

Suga never seemed to notice. But he was Suga, so he probably did and just didn’t say anything. Tanaka and Nishinoya were with Shimizu and Yachi, holding out boxes.

“Kiyoko-san!” Nishinoya said, nudging his into her hands.

“We’re so lucky to see you.” Tanaka was beaming. “Once after Suga-san invited us and we saw that it was White Day, we went out to get chocolates!”

Asahi’s stomach dropped. He almost looked at Daichi and instead to the pillar behind him. From the corner of his eye he noticed that Daichi was quiet as well, though maybe it was because Yui was in the middle of talking to him.

Shimizu took the chocolates and looked at the both of them. “Thanks,” she said, which was more than how much she usually said to them the past couple of White Days.

Tanaka and Nishinoya clung to each other and cried. Shimizu handed her chocolates to Yachi.

When it neared time for Suga’s train to arrive, Suga started going around hugging them. Asahi’s heart leapt. Suga had started with Yui, and when Daichi went in for one, he said, “Wait.”

He went around to the rest of them. Tanaka cried again, into his shoulder, and Nishinoya clung to Suga like a koala. Suga laughed and said, “Summer break.”

“Summer break!” Nishinoya exclaimed.

When the rest of them had gone around, Suga went over to Daichi and dragged him by the wrist to Asahi. Daichi was smiling, faintly, and Asahi ignored the way it didn’t meet his eyes.

“You two,” said Suga. “Don’t get into trouble.”

“What are you looking at me for?” Asahi said, because Suga was.

Daichi chuckled. It sounded more real than anything about him had in weeks, and Asahi missed it, as Daichi said, “Because you always get yourself into trouble.”

“I don’t,” said Asahi, but he was looking at Daichi now. Daichi’s eyes were at a spot behind his shoulder.

Suga said, “You do, but that goes for you too, Daichi.” He elbowed him sharply. Daichi clutched his side, and Suga managed to bring them both in for a hug.

“Don’t miss me too much,” he said, before letting them go, as his train came in.

Asahi was putting one of his siblings down from the counter when his cellphone beeped. He said, “Stay down here,” before leaving the room to check his messages.

His heart sank when he saw it was a message from Daichi. It settled slightly when he realized that it was an MMS, and that, like Suga just days before, he was telling them that he was leaving this afternoon. Asahi thought for a moment that maybe Daichi had added him to the message by mistake. But Daichi wasn’t the type to do that, and if Suga were here and knew the full situation, he would still yell at Asahi for being pessimistic.

He wondered, as he decided that he would go, that by listening to his imaginary Suga meant that his subconscious thought Suga was always right. Suga would lord it over him forever if he knew.

Asahi changed and told his parents where he was going. His insides were doing all kinds of funny flips as he walked. It was wet, but because it’d recently rained; snow hadn’t fallen since before Suga left.

Perhaps the part of him that thought Suga was right had also made him walk slower without realizing. When Asahi arrived at the train station, Daichi was in the middle of hugging Nishinoya, and people were already boarding the train in front of them.

“Hey!” Asahi shouted, before Daichi could turn to the compartment doors. He jogged over, seeing all the emotions that flashed across Daichi’s face.

He slowed as he approached. They stared at each other, but the others were watching too. Daichi pulled Asahi by the shoulder.

Asahi let out a small grunt of surprise. “Um,” he said, as Daichi hugged him.

Daichi released him. “Yeah,” he said, and he smiled, and Asahi wanted to believe it was real. It was hard to remember, from Valentine’s Day, to graduation, to seeing Suga off. Asahi tried to rack his brains. That was only four times in a little less than a month

“We,” he said, and then stopped, because Daichi had to leave, so what more was there to say?

But Daichi nodded. And after he seemed to realize that Asahi wasn’t going to continue, he did.

“Are good,” Daichi said. “We’re good.”

Asahi nodded. It was only two words, but he couldn’t stop himself from beaming.

It seemed to throw Daichi off. Daichi paused for a second, and then grinned back. “See you,” he said, as he started toward the train. He turned back once, and his eyes met Asahi’s.

Asahi didn’t forget the way he looked as he left.

Spring broke in like the world had changed. It hadn’t, really, since his last exams months ago, but it was a strange feeling that he had to rely on his phone to communicate with Daichi and Suga, and couldn’t just meet up with them when they wanted to.

Asahi stopped visiting for afternoon practices when the new school year started – Tanaka and Nishinoya had bothered him during cram season, until Ennoshita found out that they were stealing away to hang out with him instead of attending their second year study sessions. It became easier when he reminded them that even though they were going to be third years, it didn’t stop them from getting booted if their grades dropped. But they all managed to pass, even the first-going-on-second years, and Asahi congratulated them before they left for another training camp to go to during break.

Nishinoya told him about all the first years, and during Golden Week Asahi met them at a local festival. Apparently Nishinoya had told Daichi and Suga, too, because a couple of days afterward, Daichi texted him asking how they were, and Suga said that he heard Tanaka had stuffed a cake in his own face to impress Hinata and Kageyama again.

Since being seen off, Daichi talked to him like normal. Asahi replied like normal, even though it wasn’t like he could really erase the memory from his mind. But it’d been a mistake, he told himself. On both of their parts. It’d been the adrenaline. They’d forget about it. Or Daichi would forget about it, maybe. Asahi wasn’t sure if he could.

(Sometimes when he ate pork dumplings with leek in them he would remember how Daichi had tasted. That was what he’d had earlier, probably. Asahi didn’t know what to do with this information.)

He visited Suga’s and Daichi’s families, and they delighted in his presence, letting him help out when his own house got too cramped and everywhere else felt emptily familiar. At Daichi’s his sister mentioned Daichi almost forgetting to take a photo frame of the three of them to university. But when Asahi was vacuuming the dust in Suga’s room, he saw a photo of himself, Suga, and Daichi, tacked to the wall. Most of Suga’s room looked lived-in, though – the only things absent were some clothes and a handful of books. It was like Suga had taken the bare minimum to school and left the important stuff here. Asahi looked at the photo and wondered if Daichi’s was the same one.

April rolled into May, and May rolled into June. After texts from everyone from the volleyball team – including Hinata, whom Asahi had never texted before – Asahi agreed to assist with the neighborhood association and play a practice game. When Takinoue-san and Shimada-san found out that he was still around, they both asked him if he wanted to work for them, before foraying into an argument. Asahi laughed nervously and said he would think about it.

He didn’t watch the matches when the Inter High started, but mostly because he’d already agreed to run errands for Daichi’s sister on those days. Nishinoya kept him posted, anyway, sending texts between sets, and sometimes apparently when he was on the bench. Asahi told him to focus. Then he told Suga, who presumably texted Nishinoya, and the texts stopped.

About a week after the Inter Highs, Suga texted Asahi and said that he was coming back for the weekend for his birthday. Something pattered happily in Asahi’s chest, even though he texted Why? and Don’t you have break in a month? But Suga’s parents had missed him, he said, and he missed the rest of them.

Suga got back on the day of his birthday, which was a Thursday. Asahi was already at Suga’s house when he arrived, talking with Suga’s parents after he’d already cleaned Suga’s room for him to come home. Suga raised his eyebrows when Asahi answered the door with them, and said, “I didn’t know you got a new son.”

Asahi blushed. “I’m not,” he said, as Suga hugged his parents.

“Only because your parents already have custody over you,” said his mom. Suga squeezed her until she complained about it.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Asahi said, as he followed him upstairs to Suga’s bedroom.

“I know,” said Suga, and he turned to grin at him. “I got that text last night, don’t worry.”

He made comments about his room made it look like he hadn’t left, but he already knew about Asahi coming over to help. He was the grateful one while Daichi had called him and his own family weird when he found out. When Asahi asked, though, Daichi didn’t tell him to stop.

“Daichi can’t come,” Asahi said, the same time Suga did when he turned from setting his bag on the floor. They both giggled a little.

“Schoolwork?” said Asahi, because that was what Daichi had told him.

“Yep.” Suga sat on his bed, bouncing a little. “I’ll go over to his next year for my birthday if I have to.”

Asahi frowned. “But you both have school.”

“That’s no excuse.”

Asahi wondered if Suga had told any of the others about him coming back for his birthday, but decided not to mention it. His parents had bought a cake that not even Asahi knew about, and they sat in the dining room and ate it for lunch. Suga was gazing outside, while Asahi picked off the excess frosting from his cake. Today was sunny and not too dry.

Suga asked, “Have you worked on the garden today?” He rolled his eyes when his parents said that they hoped he wasn’t talking to them.

Asahi said, “No,” and Suga said, “We should.” He set down his empty plate, his slice he’d finished long ago, and started toward the back door. When he turned and said, “Coming?” to Asahi, Asahi rushed to finish his slice before getting up to join him.

Suga smiled as soon as they were outside. “Fresh air,” he said, stretching.

Maybe he didn’t notice Asahi was staring. Asahi glanced away when he realized, and said, “You like being back home, don’t you?”

“Definitely.” Suga grabbed some gloves and a spade from the bench before heading towards the garden. “I still have to break myself in at living so far away on my own.”

Asahi kind of liked watching it, Suga trying to be gone but coming back.

He got the tools he usually worked with too, and they snipped away at the dying parts, pulled some stray weeds that had snuck in, picked the peppers that were fresh. Suga bit into one of the hot ones and offered it to Asahi, but Asahi maybe shrieked a little as his nose twitched from the spice. Suga laughed and continued chewing at it as they worked.

Asahi said, “Your mouth must be on fire.”

“Yeah.” Suga grinned. “I’m allowed to treat myself today.”

When they were done, they put the basket by the porch and Suga said, “I’ll get the hose, you can get the fertilizer.” Asahi nodded. It’d been a while since he last restocked it in the garden.

They watered and added more fertilizer. Asahi stood up and wiped his brow with the back of his gardening glove.

“There,” he said, feeling accomplished.

Instead of agreeing with him, Suga turned from where he was watering the last sprout and sprayed the hose at him. Asahi yelped, “What did you do that for?” and Suga laughed.

“I said it before,” he said. “I’m allowed to treat myself!”

He sprayed him again and Asahi didn’t know what to do – it was Suga’s birthday after all. He stood there and let himself get doused when Suga stopped and pouted.

“It’s no fun when you’re not running,” he said.

“Oh,” Asahi said, and started away. He squealed when Suga sprayed him in the back, and continued running around Suga’s back lawn until he couldn’t feel the water anymore. He turned around and saw that Suga was far off, the hose nor the water stream reaching that far.

Asahi ran back. Suga hit him in the face this time, and he was laughing, but Asahi was too. Asahi ran straight towards him as Suga drenched him, and said, “This is my birthday present to you.”

“What?” Suga laughed as he hit Asahi in the chest. Asahi just tackled him to the ground. “Letting me spray you with water?”

“Yep.”

They both landed on the grass, slowly like they were letting each other. Suga turned off the hose and Asahi could feel the dirt clinging to his back. It was kind of gross, but he pulled up a few strands off grass and tossed them into Suga’s hair. Suga shook his head and laughed.

“We’re a mess,” he said. “We should get up.”

“Yeah.” Asahi picked himself up. Gooseflesh ran over his arms, and he shivered. “Oh. I’m cold.”

Suga lightly hit his chest and grinned. “And wet. You should shower when we get inside.”

“Good idea.” Asahi went back to the bench and took his gardening gloves off. When he turned back around, Suga seemed deep in thought. “Suga?”

“Hm? Ah, right,” said Suga, and started putting their gardening tools back. “Maybe I’ll shower too.”

They went back inside, facing Suga’s parents scolding them, and naturally blaming Suga until he pointed out once again that it was his birthday. Asahi joined him in giggling when his parents relented. He and Suga went upstairs, and Suga said, “Being a year older truly has its privileges.”

As he dug through the hallway closet for a towel for Asahi to borrow, Asahi said, “Wait, what am I going to wear?”

“Your clothes.” Suga walked to his bedroom and pushed the towel into Asahi’s arms. He went to open his closet door, and pointed to the upper shelf. “I can’t even begin to count how many times you’ve left your own clothes at my house.”

“Oh.” Asahi stretched up to grab what appeared to be an old t-shirt. “I didn’t even realize some of these were mine.” He’d vacuumed the inside of Suga’s closet and seen slivers of so many of them before. Now they were starting to look familiar for different reasons.

“Yeah, I have some of Daichi’s, too,” said Suga, and pointed to the other side of the shelf. “You guys,” he sighed, but he sounded fond, so Asahi didn’t feel too guilty about it.

Asahi went to the bathroom and took his shower. Even with the number of times he’d come here already, this felt far more intimate than just sitting around and helping Suga’s parents redecorate the kitchen. When Suga wasn’t here, he usually dropped by midday and left before dinnertime. That was what he’d planned on doing today.

But after he’d toweled himself off and changed, Suga said, when he walked back out, “Are you sleeping over?”

“Oh,” said Asahi, because Suga was looking at him like he expected him to. “I mean, if you want me to.”

“With the number of times you have and you’re still saying that.” Suga grinned as Asahi finished drying his hair. He offered out his hand and Asahi tossed the towel to him. Suga threw it in his empty laundry hamper.

He showered next, so Asahi went downstairs and grabbed his knapsack from the living room. He was reading one of Suga’s books when Suga came back, and Suga was whistling as he walked in.

“Sorry about this,” Suga said, and Asahi realized that he was half-naked with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was browsing through his closet. “I forgot to get my clothes.”

“It’s,” said Asahi, after it felt like some time had passed. His voice was kind of croaky. “It’s okay,” he said, clearing his throat.

Suga left again. Asahi tried not to think about the way heat spread across his chest and over his cheeks, too. He returned to the book, but was kind of terrible at getting the image of half-naked Suga from his mind.

When Suga came back, Asahi stood up with his hands on the straps of his bag. But Suga was faster, and said, “I can sleep in my bed and you can use my sleeping bag if you want.”

“Oh,” said Asahi, and nodded. “But if you don’t want me to use your sleeping bag, I can go back to mine – ”

“If I minded that you’re going to use mine, then I wouldn’t have offered in the first place.” Suga grabbed his sleeping bag from the hallway closet and spread it on the floor. “At least you didn’t leave yours over here.”

“Yeah,” Asahi said. And before he forgot, he said to Suga, who was still straightening out the sleeping bag, “Uh, Suga, I have a gift for you. Do you, er, want to open it?”

“Oh!” Suga looked surprised as Asahi pulled out the small packet from his bag. “I thought you were serious when you said that thing about you getting hit with water was your present for me.”

“Of course not,” said Asahi, but he cracked a grin. Suga did too, and took the packet from Asahi.

“Hm,” he said, shaking it by his ear. “I wonder what it could be.”

Asahi fumbled with the straps of his bag. “It’s really not much,” he said, “just – ”

Suga ignored him and tore it open. His brow furrowed when he saw it.

“A photo frame?”

“For, uh.” Asahi pointed to a photo that was tacked to his wall.

Suga continued staring at the frame. Then he got up and took the photo, and slotted it in.

“Don’t tell me you came to my room beforehand to make sure it fit,” he said, as the photo slid in smoothly and hit the inner edges.

Asahi shifted. “I didn’t?” he lied.

Suga dropped the frame on the desk and jumped to hug Asahi. His smile was brighter than the one in the photo. “You’re making me feel embarrassed,” he said against Asahi’s shoulder.

Asahi tried to stammer out an apology. Suga ignored him and said, “Thank you.”

Suga’s parents cooked his favorite food with the peppers they’d picked earlier, so naturally Asahi took a couple of bites out of politeness and then ate the tamer versions that were prepared. Suga told his parents about Asahi’s gift, and they joked that that was the only reason Asahi had come over in the first place, to check the measurements of the photo. Asahi thought about Daichi and his photo at his own university, sitting on his desk like Suga’s was here. His insides did a little flip.

They watched a kaiju movie to Suga’s insistence, and Asahi ended up with his knees curled to his chest as he peeked up every once in a while to pay attention. Midway through Suga said, “Ennoshita should write a kaiju movie,” and Asahi immediately responded, “No,” because Ennoshita liked making his movies complicated and that would just make the whole monster thing scarier.

Suga stood up from the couch when it was over. “I was worried I’d end up sleeping all day from the traveling,” he said, stretching.

Asahi went over to turn off the tv box. “I hope you had a good birthday,” he said, admiring the way Suga slouched and huffed when he was done.

“‘Course I did.” Suga shot him a thumbs up. “Tomorrow let’s go back to Karasuno. I need to congratulate them on the Inter Highs in person.”

“Oh, right,” said Asahi.

They went upstairs. Asahi wasn’t sure why Suga hadn’t bothered going to the school today, but he’d enjoyed himself, so Asahi decided not to wonder too much or ask.

Asahi settled into Suga’s sleeping bag while Suga went to turn off the lights. “You have enough room on the floor, right?” he asked as he padded back to his bed.

Asahi nodded. There wasn’t nearly as much space as when they pushed Suga’s bed to the side, but it was enough for himself. “I don’t need much,” he said.

Suga climbed into bed. “Yeah, ‘s just new and all.” He yawned, rippling his blankets over himself

Asahi made a noise of agreement. Even when it was the two of them, they pushed his bed out of the way anyway, because Asahi had his sleeping bag all those times. Asahi presumed it was the same if it was just Suga and Daichi, too.

“Night,” Suga murmured, up from his bed, and Asahi echoed the sentiment.

Asahi tightened the blankets over his shoulders as his consciousness was vaguely prodded awake. The windows were open and Asahi lifted himself up in the sleeping bag, and, shivering, closed them. He heard Suga make a muffled noise from his bed.

Asahi lay back down. His mind was groggy, but his hands clammed together as his teeth chattered, even cocooned like this.

He stood back up.

“Suga,” he murmured in the darkness. Suga made a sniffling noise, but Asahi could recognize that he didn’t stir.

He kneeled on the bed through the sleeping bag and, with one cold arm, tried to shake him awake. “Suga,” he tried again.

There was the sound of a deep inhale, and then Suga’s croaky voice. “Yeah?” he said, rolling over. Asahi could see him blinking lazily in the dark

Asahi poked his side. “I’m cold,” he whined.

“Oh,” said Suga, took another deep breath, and rolled back away from Asahi. “But it’s the summer,” said his voice, while Asahi stared at his back.

Asahi poked him for a third time. “But I’m cold.” It was getting better that he was standing. “The floor’s cold.”

Suga made a muffled noise in his blanket. Asahi wanted to ask him what that meant, but Suga shifted over some more and said, “Here.”

His voice was clearer now. Asahi’s was too when he said, “Thanks,” and shuffled in beside him, still wrapped tight in his sleeping back. He nestled himself comfortably on Suga’s mattress, and sighed in content.

Suga turned again. Asahi peeked an eye open to see Suga staring at him.

“What are you doing?” Suga asked.

The warmth at Asahi’s back was tugging him back to sleep, like slow waves in the morning. “Sleeping,” he whispered.

He felt the tugging again. It took him a moment before he realized it wasn’t the sleep, but Suga, at the hem of his sleeping bag.

“Take this off,” Suga said, pulling it down.

Asahi was happy with the heat at his back. He said, “Okay,” and shuffled the sleeping bag off. He’d barely kicked it to the foot of the bed when suddenly his front and side were covered with warmth, too. Asahi nosed into the polyester.

“Is this better?” he heard a voice say.

Asahi made a small pleased noise, before drifting back into unconsciousness.

The next time he stirred awake, dim sunshine peeked from behind the window blinds. It was cozy enough for him to fall back asleep, like a gentle summer surrounding him, nestled into his arms.

It’d been the movement in his arms that had woken him up. It moved again, and Asahi found his knees tucked behind another pair. There was a small yawn from the other side of the bed.

“Mrgh,” said Asahi, maybe as an indicator that he was awake. The warmth he was holding shifted once more, and Asahi moved his arm.

Suga turned around to face him. His knees disappeared from in front of Asahi, and Asahi was almost thrown off by the closeness of their faces.

Suga smiled sleepily when he saw him. “Good morning,” he said.

Asahi let out a small exhale from his nose. “Good morning.” He didn’t move his head.

Suga did. He tilted forward, ever so slightly, and Asahi could feel the heat from his breath, a vague spice from yesterday’s dinner, the moisture of his mouth –

It disappeared suddenly, and then Suga was jostling to the side, tangled in his covers for a moment, and nearly fell to the ground. Asahi shot up to make sure that he was okay, but Suga was up in an instant. He had his covers wrapped around himself, and didn’t shake them off like it was intentional.

“Uh,” he said, and Asahi said, “Uh.”

“Let’s,” said Suga, because Asahi didn’t know what else to say. “Let’s not talk about this.”

Asahi wished he had a chance to ask why. But Suga ran out of his bedroom with his blankets wrapped around him and no explanation. And he’d said that they shouldn’t, so when he came back and they had breakfast and walked to the high school together, Asahi didn’t.

II. Equinox

So many parts in Asahi’s chest and brain were convinced that this was the wrong thing to do, but he was at the train station anyway, because that part of him that desperately missed Daichi and Suga didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity.

It was kind of weird, since the last time he’d seen Suga was that morning they never talked about, and with Daichi it was – here, a goodbye that felt like okay. They’d texted a handful of times, but Asahi just assumed that Daichi had a lot of schoolwork and didn’t have time for him, which was okay. Asahi didn’t want to distract Daichi from his schoolwork; Daichi had more important things to do, anyway.

Nishinoya had told him that both Daichi had told him that he was coming back on the twenty-first with Suga; Nishinoya and Tanaka had wanted to meet them here until Ennoshita reminded them that they had practice after school and had to prepare for the spring tournament, since they weren’t retiring this season. They were all determined to defeat Datekou this season; the now-third years wanted to live up to last year’s legacy against Nekoma. Asahi was proud of them, but felt empty not being proud of them without Daichi and Suga at his side.

His phone pinged as he waited at the bench. Nishinoya had texted him if he was with Daichi and Suga yet. Asahi typed back no and tried not to stress out too much until the five o’clock train came.

It came to a slow stop in front of him and Asahi stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was wearing a scarf and his hair was tied back; he suddenly felt self-conscious as the doors opened. His eyes darted back and forth, looking, until –

“Asahi?”

Suga’s voice rang loud on the platform. Suga’s pink cheeks were flushed, certainly a sight; Daichi was trailing after him, surprised but pleased as well.

Asahi smiled at them. It would’ve been trying, but it suddenly just felt natural to be here. “Hi,” he said, then realized that Suga and Daichi were looking at him for an explanation of some sort. “Um. Surprise?”

“I’ll say,” Daichi said. He instigated a hug – there was a brief moment of hesitation that Asahi was sure he was hallucinating – but then Daichi’s arms were warm around him and Asahi could think of nothing else. “What are you doing here? We didn’t even tell you – ”

“Nishinoya told me,” Asahi explained.

Suga said, “We would’ve, but we didn’t – ” He chanced a glance to Daichi, who shrugged. “Well,” Suga said. “I’m glad you’re here, I don’t know about this guy – ”

Daichi elbowed him. “Of course I’m glad to see Asahi,” he said, and his grin was so head-on that it startled Asahi for a moment. Daichi looked so happy to see him, and Asahi didn’t know what to do with that, nor the tumble of nerves that started in his stomach. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Oh, you know,” Asahi said, scratching the back of his head. “Working for Shimada-kun, Takinoue-kun – ”

“Using honorifics as friends!” Suga barked out in laughter.

Daichi said, “Are you trying to replace us, Asahi?”

Asahi was flustered. “No, of course not,” he said, but then Suga went to hug Asahi too, and Asahi started. He’d forgotten how warm, how soft Suga could be so close to him, in his touch, like when they’d woken up that morning.

When they pulled back, Suga’s cheeks were even more flushed than usual, like he was thinking the same thing. Suga quickly let him go; Asahi missed his warmth.

“We know you can’t replace us,” Daichi said, looking curiously between them. Suga avoiding Asahi’s eyes, which Asahi would be more worried about if he wasn’t doing the same thing. “Don’t worry.”

“I, ah, yeah,” Asahi said, tugging at his scarf. “Do you want to go to Karasuno? The Neighborhood Association isn’t supposed to be practicing today, but.” He shrugged. “We could.”

Suga lit up at this. He looked back to normal, so quick that Asahi thought he might’ve imagined his own hesitance too. “That’s a great idea!” he said. “I miss playing.”

Daichi laughed. “I thought you played a little bit at school.”

“Yeah,” Suga said, as they began to walk off. “But with exam season, not recently…”

They made their way out of the train station and into the countryside. It was a breezy December day and Asahi thought again back to when they were all third years in high school, chattering about volleyball and universities and the future. Now Asahi was feeling more relaxed, which was strange to think considering he was out of school, afterward; but he supposed that contrasted with Daichi and Suga, who were talking about their universities and the more intensive exams they had, and the stress between owning their own place and attending classes and having a life in between.

“There was this one time,” Suga was saying, “that Daichi and I met up – ”

Daichi shot Suga a look. Asahi looked between the two of them with interest.

“Not that time,” Suga continued, to Daichi’s calculative stare. “When we got lunch and you decided to show me around your school – ”

“Oh yeah,” Daichi said. Both of their schools were in the city; Asahi wondered how far away they were from each other. How often they met up. “We got lost,” he continued to Asahi, “because Suga wanted to explore – ”

“We didn’t get lost!” Suga protested. “I knew where we were!”

Daichi snickered into his palm. “Sure,” he said.

Asahi decided to go out with it; he curled his hands into fists and dug his fingers into his palm so the jealousy wouldn’t spread too far. “Do you meet up a lot then?” he asked.

“Oh, not really,” Daichi said. “It was just the couple of times – I haven’t seen Suga since October.”

“Yeah,” Suga said, nudging Asahi. “Don’t worry, we aren’t replacing you either.”

“I mean,” Asahi said. “It’s fine if you want to – ”

“Of course it isn’t,” Daichi said. “Do something without you? It’s better when you’re around.”

Suga said, “If I had a choice, Daichi wouldn’t – ”

“Hey!” Daichi said.

He elbowed Suga; Suga was standing in between the both of them, and it just felt right, standing in a row except for when the occasional car had to pass by and one of them would just instinctively pull back while the other two would keep walking next to each other, in no particular pattern.

Suga continued, “Daichi’s a thorn in my side – ”

“It’s okay,” Asahi assured Daichi. “I like it when you’re around.”

“Yeah,” Daichi said, looking pointedly at Suga. “Me and Asahi don’t need you – ”

Both he and Suga looked at Asahi like they expected him to protest. Asahi let a beat pass before a smile spread across his face, and Suga whacked him on the shoulder.

“Hey, you scared me for a second!” he said. “I thought – Asahi – ”

“You’ve gotten meaner,” Daichi said approvingly.

Asahi said, “I’m not mean, it’s just the two of you – ” and they bickered the whole way to the high school.

When they arrived, the others were in the middle of their practice when Hinata suddenly shouted, “Asahi-san! Suga-san! Daichi-san!” and everyone else’s heads turned to them. Suga grinned as they received the onslaught of attention and “we miss you”s, though Tanaka added, “I mean, we miss you too Asahi-senpai, but we saw you just last week – ”

“It’s fine,” Asahi laughed, patting one of the new first years who had no idea who Daichi was but had joined in on the chaos anyway.

Daichi said, after he greeted the new first years, “Asahi had the brilliant idea of us practicing with you, so you can make it through Spring nationals – ”

“Of course,” Nishinoya bellowed, too loudly. “We can beat you old men any day!”

“Old men?” Asahi crowed indignantly.

Suga said, smirking, “We’d like to see you try,” and they began taking off their jackets as Ennoshita divided his team into practice groups, two first years and Tsukishima going with Asahi, Daichi, and Suga to balance them out.

On one side of the net, with them – with Suga setting for Asahi again, with knowing that Daichi was there to keep them balanced, with patting the new first years on the back when they made a particularly good save or spike, with Yamaguchi grinning at them with trust – it sort of felt like coming home, but with something new, that they were all on their own paths but still together.

Being back in the world with Daichi and Suga felt like bursts of moments, that it was still foreign enough that Asahi did a doubletake when, later that night, Daichi sent an MMS just between the three of them with, We should hang out and catch up with each other.

Good idea, Suga replied.

Asahi asked his parents, then sent, My house is free tomorrow because it felt like it’d been a while since they’d been over, and Asahi wanted it to be balanced, that he wasn’t always intruding to their parents’ spaces so often and never his own.

Daichi sent, As it should be, you’re our host.

Daichi and I are the ones visiting, after all, Suga chimed in.

Asahi grinned stupidly at his phone screen – all the things he worried about before, just brief moments that meant nothing because they happened in the past – they evaporated suddenly, because Daichi and Suga were back. It was okay if they visited each other more, talked to each other more – Asahi believed that they’d only seen each other the couple of times, but the worry meant nothing when they could talk like this.

Asahi said, I am your humble host.

Humble, he says. Daichi’s snort was near audible through his text.

I suppose we should be grateful, Suga added.

That was how the next day, Asahi opened his door to Suga first. “Is Daichi here yet?” Suga said, peering behind Asahi as Asahi welcomed him in.

Asahi shook his head. “Not yet,” he said.

Suga made his way into Asahi’s house and Asahi attended to him, suddenly feeling very awkward. There was a lot of space between their bodies, he noted, and he wondered if maybe they should –

And then there was a knock at his door and Suga was clambering up and saying, “I’ll get it.”

“Hey,” Daichi said, as he walked in. He asked the both of them, “Have you had lunch yet?”

Asahi shook his head and Suga said, “No,” so then all three of them took over Asahi’s kitchen, with Daichi suggesting things they could eat and Suga shooting them down and Asahi suggesting something that he knew that all three of them liked. Asahi knew he was the better cook of them, but Suga tried desperately to help and Daichi was pretty resigned passing him ingredients, and they all laughed when Suga tried to get the garlic and got it mixed up with a turnip.

“I miss being like this,” Asahi blurted, as he stirred the food.

Daichi elbowed him. “So honest,” he said, but didn’t meet Asahi’s gaze like he felt the same.

Suga said, “I do too.” He hummed as he watched Asahi stir the food. “What’ve you been up to? Since my birthday, I mean.”

“What were you up to on Suga’s birthday?” Daichi added. “Suga told me that you celebrated together but wouldn’t tell me – ”

Asahi could see the pink blooming up Suga’s neck and cheeks. He tore his gaze away so he wasn’t staring; there was something unreadable in Daichi’s own eyes, though. Not just interest, but a tinge of something offended. Asahi tried not to panic and racked his brain to think of why.

“Nothing happened,” Asahi said, as honestly as he could. “I said happy birthday, I slept over, I helped out with his family’s garden – ”

“He already does that,” Suga explained to Daichi. “Asahi’s an all-around good guy.”

“Can’t trust a guy like that,” Daichi teased. “Is that what you’ve been doing, working around?”

“I’ve been thinking of helping out at Ukai-san’s farm too,” Asahi said. “Especially since he’s helping Ennoshita, I can manage the shop – ”

“You can be the new Ukai-san!” Daichi laughed.

Suga covered his face. “Don’t say things like that,” he said to Daichi. “I can’t think about Asahi like that.”

“Neither can I,” Daichi admitted.

It was disorienting to think about that Daichi didn’t know that Suga and Asahi had shared a bed all those months ago, that – Asahi and Daichi had accidentally kissed that one time. There was a part of Asahi that hoped that they’d told each other and that none of them really wanted to talk about it, except both of them were the type to – bring it up, if they did, and Asahi would be too if even thinking about discussing it didn’t feel like it was giving him a rash.

They didn’t hide anything from each other – it wasn’t even hiding, neither of them knew, and with all three of them in the same room again – not just on the train station on the high of seeing each other again, but of Suga peering into the bowl and asking Asahi if lunch was done yet – not just texting, but Daichi telling Suga not to bother Asahi – and Asahi was suddenly doubting everything again.

He was brought back into the conversation when Suga said, “I think Kiyoko’s back too.”

“Yeah, Yachi was talking about her last week,” Asahi said. “She’s at a school closer to us, right?”

Daichi nodded. “Not into the city like me and Suga,” he said, nudging Suga.

Suga said, in an impressive impression of Tanaka, “City boys.”

Asahi and Daichi laughed. Asahi said, “We’re all going on with our own lives.”

“Oi, don’t get philosophical on us,” Daichi said to him.

Suga said, “Kiyoko’s doing physical therapy, right?” Asahi nodded; he and Kiyoko met up every once in a while when she was in town.

Daichi said, “Ah, and Yui’s going professional,” leaning back on his elbows as the timer hit and Asahi turned the stove off. “You could do professional volleyball, Asahi – ”

Asahi blushed and ducked his head down behind the pot as he got their servings into bowls. “I don’t think so,” he said, but then remembered not to be too modest. “Maybe,” he tried.

“That’s the spirit,” Suga said, as he got his lunch from Asahi. “Daichi will have boring jobs – ”

Daichi said, “I will not have a boring job – ”

“We’ll support Asahi,” Suga continued, ignoring him.

Asahi laughed, so quick that he had to put his ladle down so he wouldn’t splash. “Support me?” he said.

“With our boring jobs,” Suga said. “Unless you become an Olympic athlete – ”

Daichi reached over to get his own bowl from Asahi. “Once he finishes his training with high schoolers?”

“They aren’t average high schoolers,” Asahi said. “They could be impressed – ”

They spent the rest of lunch discussing Asahi’s hypothetical Olympic volleyball career, the future – a topic that would’ve made Asahi anxious before, but now it was just them folding back into each other, and Asahi couldn’t stop smiling over his food, because it was so much easier to think of them as Daichi and Suga, and not the things that happened with them separate of each other.

It was a holiday, after all, and Asahi had to do some last minute shopping a couple of days later. His family liked to celebrate with stupendous meals and gift exchanging, especially with his younger siblings. Asahi had gotten most, but he’d either miscounted or left himself to finish his shopping later – either way, it resulted in him back in town, looking through the shop windows during one of the earlier snowfalls of the season.

There was a toy store Asahi knew some of his siblings liked, as well as a trinket store that they often stopped to gawk at. It might be nice to take them inside one day, but as Asahi could afford to look in himself, he poked around and found a few ornaments and notebooks and toys one of his younger sisters would appreciate. Deciding, he grabbed some things from the shelves, careful not to bump into the racks so he didn’t knock anything over.

He bustling when he ran into a body. “Oh! Excuse me – ” Asahi started.

The familiar back of Daichi’s head was there. He spun around and met Asahi with surprise, smiling upon first glance.

“Of course you’re here,” Daichi said, and Asahi had a strange sense of deja vu. “Shopping for presents?”

“You too?” Asahi said, and Daichi nodded.

“I’ve never been in here before,” Daichi told him.

“Neither have I,” Asahi said.

“Well, we’re here now.” Daichi admired the ornaments hanging from above them, some of the wooden horses rocking on the shelves. “Have you finished yet?”

Asahi shifted. He wasn’t sure what answer Daichi would prefer – what he would prefer. “No,” he said.

Daichi grinned at him. “Okay, neither have I,” he said. “I’ll look with you – maybe you have good taste.”

“I don’t think we’re looking for the same things,” Asahi said, though he looked at a few baubles that they passed, leaning over for inspection. Then he realized that he could knock them over and quickly moved back, while at the same time trying not to run into Daichi.

It was – well, Daichi was weirdly quiet, like he was thinking the same thing as Asahi was. That he was thinking about last Valentine’s Day, too. It was snowy as before and they had run into each other as before – but Asahi tried to dispel what he hoped he was imagining the awkwardness to be with, “What do you think of this?” and pointing at a mug. with a gaudy decoration on it.

Daichi said, “Please get that,” and Asahi looked at it carefully. “I’m kidding,” he added, when Asahi looked at it more seriously.

“I still might get it,” Asahi said, just to make Daichi laugh all over again.

Asahi found stationary, and Daichi bought a set too, presumably for his sister. They went to check out, and Daichi brought up what might happen if Asahi’s own siblings ran into Daichi’s sister and they had the same stationary set, to which Asahi was amused by. As they departed the store, Daichi looked between Asahi and the snowy road, and then asked, “Have you had lunch yet?”

A part of Asahi painfully wanted to say no (because he hadn’t) and eat lunch with Daichi and talk and laugh about things. Another part of him wanted to flee as soon as possible, because it was feeling far too – Asahi wasn’t sure if what had happened last time would happen again, and he didn’t want to risk it.

His mind was running into overdrive. It was like being here, with Daichi – and Asahi could remember the taste of the kiss so well, the texture of Daichi’s lips – the excitement running through his veins, and now with Daichi looking at him expectantly.

Asahi blundered, and said, “Um, no, but I’m not hungry.”

Daichi frowned at him. “We should eat something,” he said.

Asahi shook his head. “It’s okay, I think my dad’s making something at home.” He meant for it to be a lie, but he remembered it was true and revised, “I mean, my dad is making something at home.”

“You eat with your family every day.” Daichi nudged him, and Asahi supposed it was meant to be teasing, encouraging, but right now Asahi just felt bad. “You can eat with me.”

That made Asahi just think about eating with Daichi and his family, and suddenly Asahi felt like he was back with Suga and his family, Suga’s birthday, the spray of the hose and waking up so close and – Asahi’s stomach twisted into knots, at Daichi and his bright face against the white snow, what Suga looked like in yellow morning light, and Asahi didn’t know what to do. His stomach kept turning and turning and he was sure that if he actually did eat something, genuinely, it would just come up again.

Daichi was frowning at him. “Is this upsetting you? I didn’t mean to – ”

“It’s fine,” Asahi said quickly, waving him off and not meeting his eyes. “I, um. I remembered something I forgot to get.”

“What did you forget?’ Daichi asked.

“Another present.” Asahi racked his brains for an excuse, to get away from Daichi – he felt awful, but it was just so much, what it felt like to be millimeters and warmth with Suga, tangled and twisted with Daichi.

“For who?” Daichi asked.

“Um,” Asahi said, and stopped. He needed to get out of here – looking at Daichi gave him heart palpitations suddenly, and Asahi didn’t know how he coped with it before. With Suga and Daichi back again. Back in high school when he saw them every day. The first few days of them being back, like a honeymoon phase.

That distance in Daichi’s eyes, like when he’d closed off after Valentine’s Day last year too.

“Sorry,” Asahi said quickly. “I – sorry.” He sped away with the holiday presents in his hands, through the snowy streets, trying not to wish too hard that it was February again and he was racing through the snow with Daichi instead.

Asahi hoped that it would just be the one time, that the – worries about Daichi or whatever would go away after he slept or something.

But after Christmas, Asahi’s phone pinged with a message in an MMS early in the morning and it was Daichi and Asahi’s stomach did all sorts of things. Daichi’s message read, Hey. We should hang out again, the three of us.

And before it would’ve sounded fine – before Asahi realized what being alone with Daichi was doing to him, before his brain started replaying those days, Suga in the morning, Daichi and the kiss, over and over again. It was like his mind had been waiting for the least opportune moment, when Daichi and Suga were back and Asahi had no excuse to not hang out with them, to make him worried about it repeatedly, what he felt, the confusion of being torn between the both of them.

It didn’t help when Suga was the first to respond, as Asahi sat alone in his room reading their text message responses. Of course! I’m free all day.

Before he knew it, Asahi was tapping out rapidly, I’m not free, sorry. He hit send before he could think – he was of course completely open today, but he felt like he was back in that space where he and Daichi weren’t talking again.

Why did he have to run into him while it was snowing again? Why did the lights outside and in town make Asahi recall the faint taste of leek on Daichi’s tongue, warm and wet against him?

Suga replied first: ? What’s up? It was still in the MMS; Asahi panicked, then made himself patter out a reply.

Busy with family. Sorry.

You already said sorry, was, of course, Daichi’s response. Asahi’s heart thumped; he didn’t know if he wanted Daichi to revert to that not-really-talking thing again, or if he wanted them to be okay. Of course Asahi wanted them to be okay, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t deal with not thinking about Daichi.

If he was with them again, his eyes would stray to Daichi’s mouth, or remember what Suga had looked like half-naked in his room, and –

Asahi quickly replied, I have to go. Sorry again, and put his phone down, trying to set his mind at ease.

But a text from Suga came on its own mere minutes later. What’s wrong? Suga asked, not in the MMS.

Did he notice that Asahi was avoiding Daichi? Or that it was something between him and Daichi? Daichi answered again, to Asahi’s message in the MMS: That’s the third time you’ve said sorry! that Asahi didn’t think it was that obvious. Well, Suga could sometimes be pretty clairvoyant.

Asahi ducked his head under his covers to read his phone. It was early enough so that his siblings wouldn’t bother him for piggyback rides through the snow until the afternoon. The morning sun was gentle beneath his covers, even though Asahi was doing his best at hiding.

He responded to Suga’s text, not in the MMS. Nothing’s wrong. Can’t hang out today.

You’re not very good at lying over text, Asahi, was Suga’s response. Something is up with you and Daichi, or at least you.

It’s just me, Asahi quickly tapped out. Not Daichi. I just don’t feel that well, I guess.

Why are you telling just me if it’s not Daichi? And this is something we should talk about in person.

Asahi’s stomach dropped, and he stared at Suga’s message, from still under his blanket covers. He didn’t want to say No or Okay, but having to deal with it face to face – with Daichi’s lips in his line of sight, with Suga just there – Asahi wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

He didn’t respond, but Suga stopped texting him for the rest of the morning. Asahi’s siblings came in to bother him, and he tried to keep the dilemma out of his mind.

Asahi didn’t think this was anything he ever had to worry about – just a week ago, when they’d arrived, things were fine, weren’t they? But maybe Asahi had been so excited to see them again – and now that they were back in his life, a regular part of it, he couldn’t stop thinking about how things were like before, in the mornings waking to the phantom heat of Suga in bed with him, in the evenings remembering how close Daichi’s body had been to his, strong and big all at once.

All he wanted to do was wrap himself in his blankets and not think about it. It was like the tumultuous feelings, his brain fixed on those two spots in the past, weighed heavy on his shoulders that Shimada-san asked him if he was okay when he spaced out at work during the day after the MMS. And Suga wanted to talk to him in person – Asahi couldn’t bear the thought, of Suga being himself and asking him straightforward what was going on through his head and Asahi not being sure if he actually knew how to answer.

Nishinoya had texted the three of them in another MMS that they were going to practice the next day, and if Asahi, Daichi, and Suga wanted to come and practice with them? Despite the lack of activity in their own group message, Daichi had answered, Sure, why not? and Suga said, I’m game. Asahi looked at the messages – if he didn’t reply, then Nishinoya would know something was wrong and Asahi would never hear the end of that.

He envisioned Daichi and Suga looking over their phones, waiting for his own response. Expecting him not to say anything after the last disaster.

Asahi replied, I’ll come.

So then the next day Asahi made his way to the high school, dreading volleyball for not the first time in his life but the first time in a while. He told himself that it would be okay – well, Daichi and Suga were the type to confront him even in front of others, but if Asahi kept his distance, then there was a possibility they would just leave him alone. They knew he didn’t feel well – maybe they’d take that into consideration and not do anything.

When he got to the high school, he saw with relief that Daichi and Suga were already there – that he didn’t have to be alone with him. “Oh,” Daichi said, when he saw him in the gym. Ennoshita, Tanaka, and Nishinoya were busy setting up. “Asahi’s here,” Daichi said to Suga.

Asahi’s stomach plummeted. Here it would come…

But Suga merely glanced up at Asahi and said, “Hi Asahi. How was your Christmas?”

Asahi was flustered. Both of them were watching him like this was normal – like Asahi hadn’t totally flaked out on the both of them last time, and especially with Daichi, whom Asahi had flaked out on twice. “It was fine,” he said hurriedly, and quickly took his outer clothes off and tried to tell himself to get into the mentality for volleyball.

That, at least, was easy, muscle memory. Ennoshita called his team over as Asahi, Daichi, and Suga waited on the side; Ennoshita assigned who was playing, and then, “Kinoshita, you’ll be with them,” nodding toward them.

“Oh, good,” Suga said with delight, patting Kinoshita on the back who jolted a little. “We have Kinoshita with us.”

“We’ll be really formidable,” Daichi agreed.

Asahi tried to laugh, and strayed to the back immediately while they got into formation. The distance between him and Daichi was normal as far as volleyball went, but Asahi tried to widen the space anyway, in his mind.

Ennoshita had set up a rotation for the third years – “Watch how your seniors play!” Tanaka called to them, earning jeers from the first years. Hinata and Yachi were keeping score, Hinata saying something excitable to Yachi.

Asahi crouched down, and braced himself.

Nothing about volleyball felt new, so each receive, “nice toss!”, run-jump-spike after Suga was still settled into Asahi’s bones. And it tricked Asahi for a brief moment, thinking of nothing but volleyball, but just being a part of the nucleus that was him and Daichi and Suga and Kinoshita, a cycle of serving and receiving and spiking.

Then Suga met his eyes as he shouted, “Asahi!” and Asahi was taken by the lock of Suga’s gaze, a shine in his eyes, how the color hit this side of his hair and his skin just right, and –

Asahi didn’t mean to feint, but there was no force as he barely hit the ball over the nut. Nishinoya, Narita, and Ennoshita dove down to try to catch it, and Tanaka called, “Asahi-senpai, what was that?”

“Sorry!” Asahi said, even though he knew he didn’t mean to. And then to Suga, who was looking at him oddly, “Sorry, I didn’t – sorry.” He went back to his side of the net, neck burning with embarrassment.

He saw Daichi and Suga glance at each other – Kinoshita was watching between them too, having not missed it. “Asahi?” Daichi tried.

Asahi shook his head. “It was still a point,” he said, mostly to the net, not meeting either of their eyes.

Suga came up to him. “Asahi, what are you thinking about – ”

Shaking his head again, Asahi forced himself to make contact with Suga – it threw Asahi off, how easy it was to just look into Suga’s eyes, to stay there, so Asahi focused his attention on Suga’s mole instead. There was Daichi to the side and the rough texture of his mouth on Asahi’s, and – Asahi really focused on Suga’s mole, before worrying that maybe Suga would notice. He fixated on an eyelash instead.

“I just got distracted from volleyball,” he told them. Then: “Sorry Kinoshita.”

“It’s fine, Asahi-senpai!” Kinoshita piped up.

Daichi and Suga didn’t look persuaded, but Ennoshita called for the game to start again so they obliged with the game. Asahi tried his damndest to focus his senses on the scent of salonpas, the weight of the volleyball against his forearms – and nothing else.

“Is that good?” Daichi asked.

Asahi nodded through his mouthful. He set his fork down, chewed, and swallowed. “It’s sweet,” he said.

“That sounds like a complaint,” Daichi teased, before forking down his own pastry.

Asahi glanced around the cafe with instinct – and if he was honest with himself, nervously as well. He could flee, but the amount of space he’d been trying to ward was going to go nowhere now that he was here with Daichi. Daichi had knocked on his door and essentially dragged Asahi out into the cold, saying that they should get something to eat and hearing none of it when Asahi tried to protest that he was sick, that he was busy, that he just couldn’t.

Asahi could, and he did, and now he was here in this cafe with Daichi and trying to pretend his palms weren’t as clammy as they were.

Daichi said, of his own pantry, “Oh, you’re right, it is sweet.”

“Did they make them the same?” Asahi asked.

“No, I’m just pointing out the obvious like you.” Daichi smirked.

Asahi tried not to let his gaze follow the motion of Daichi’s tongue, his mouth as he ate thoughtfully. Asahi’s gaze kept dropping and Daichi was bound to notice sooner or later. Asahi didn’t want to mess a good thing up – didn’t want Daichi to know that he kept thinking about something that never should have happened. Asahi couldn’t bring it in himself to regret it.

Daichi said, after a short period of silence, “The few times that we met up during college, Suga and I could only talk about how much we missed you.”

“Oh,” Asahi said, flustered. “Sorry I’m not with you guys – ”

Daichi rolled his eyes. “Not about that,” he said. “We’re just moving on with our lives – you are, too – and we just miss you when you’re not here with us. It’s not your fault.”

Asahi shrugged; he could give himself that. “It happens fast,” he agreed, relieved.

“It does.” Daichi poked at his pastry. “I wish I’d come to visit for the summer. I feel like I missed out on a lot.”

“You didn’t,” Asahi said. “Suga really only came for his birthday – you were having fun at college.”

“Yeah.” Daichi laughed a little. “I guess I was…” He trailed off, looking suddenly thoughtful. “A lot has changed,” he said decidedly. “About all of us.”

“Our birthdays are still coming up,” Asahi reminded him. “We still have that.”

Daichi looked him in the eye. “You still want to sleepover with us?” he said dryly.

Asahi put his fork down frantically, and it clattered to the table. “Did you think that I didn’t want to?” he said. “Because I – ”

“No, it’s – ” Daichi said, then sighed and stopped. “No, never mind. Yeah, we can do it if we still want. I miss how often we used to study together.”

“Like last year,” Asahi said.

“Suga and I don’t do that anymore,” Daichi said, and then stood up. “I’m going to get a drink.”

“Okay,” said Asahi, and watched Daichi go over to the cash register.

Asahi breathed out a sigh – it wasn’t relief, but he wasn’t sure how this conversation with Daichi was going, but – it was going. It was fine and they were here and Asahi had no excuse to not be looking at Daichi, to not be talking to him – when Daichi came back, it was with two cups of green tea, and Asahi reached out to get one.

Daichi smiled at him. “Hey. Who said one’s for you?”

“Are you, um,” Asahi said, wondering if Daichi wasn’t joking with him for once despite that he was smiling – but Daichi rolled his eyes and handed a glass off to Asahi.

“Yes, it’s for you,” he said to Asahi. “Take it.”

“Thanks,” Asahi said gratefully, and Daichi rolled his eyes again. It was endearing, and Asahi smiled back.

Daichi looked outside the cafe, where the snow was billowing persistently. “I’ll have to shovel outside of my house again,” he sighed, before turning back to Asahi. “How about you?”

Asahi swallowed. “Oh – yeah,” he said. He was thinking about shovels again, and Daichi. “It’s snowing really hard, isn’t it?”

Daichi snorted. “Look at us old men, talking about the weather.”

“Plenty of people talk about the weather,” Asahi said.

“Sure.” Daichi seemed amused though, so Asahi decided not to worry about it. “Your shovel didn’t break again?”

“No,” Asahi said quickly, and drank some of his tea so he could think before he said anything too fast. “I – It’s fine.”

“You don’t need me to help you look for new snow shovels anymore?” Daichi grinned at him. “You should help me, since you’re strong enough to break them.”

“I’m not,” Asahi said quickly, though he was blushing. “But I can help you if you really want me to – ”

“It’s fine, there’s not much to do,” Daichi said.

Asahi nodded. Daichi leaned over and stole a bit of Asahi’s pastry, but Asahi didn’t terribly mind – Daichi was eating it thoughtfully, and said, “Thanks,” as Asahi nodded. Then Daichi said, “Are you – you’re okay, right? With everything recently?”

So they were talking about it. Asahi poked at his pastry again and tried to answer as normally as he could. “Yeah,” he said to Daichi. “It’s just – anxiety.”

“Of course,” Daichi said, though it wasn’t demeaning. He licked at his fork. “You’re right, it is sweet,” he said to Asahi, in that teasing tone again.

Asahi tried not to stare at Daichi’s mouth as he smiled back.

So things seemed to be okay. Or so Asahi thought, until just the day later – a couple days until his own, until Daichi’s – there was a knock on his door and Asahi opened it up to Suga.

“Your time’s up,” Suga said, forcing his way into Asahi’s house before Asahi could say anything. “What’s wrong, Asahi?”

“What – ” Asahi stammered, because Suga had spun around while in Asahi’s house and glared at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Is this because – ” Suga started, before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Never mind. Asahi, we need to talk about what’s been going on.”

“What do you mean?” Asahi said, red creeping up his neck immediately. Suga’s own skin was pink, from anger or from emotion, as it usually was, and Asahi remembered what it was like holding him like – that. Being so close. Asahi tried not to blush again and continued, “Nothing’s going on – ”

“Bullshit,” Suga said, startling Asahi. “Daichi and I have been back, and everything was fine until you started being weird at that one practice – ”

“I wasn’t being weird!”

Suga raised his eyebrows. They were standing in the foyer of Asahi’s house, and Asahi’s family in the living room and kitchen were looking at them curiously. Asahi felt self-conscious – it was unfair of Suga to barge into his house like this, although Asahi supposed he wasn’t terribly surprised as it did what Suga wanted it to do – Asahi couldn’t easily get away when they were in his own house.

This was when footsteps came up onto Asahi’s front porch and Daichi’s voice was saying, “So you started without me.”

Asahi looked at Suga, who shrugged. “I invited him,” Suga said, not even bothering to hide it.

Daichi glanced between Asahi and Suga, evidently seeking that something was wrong. “What’s up?” Daichi said. “What are you talking about?”

“Let’s go to Asahi’s room,” Suga decided, in Asahi’s own house.

He did wave and apologize to Asahi’s family as they made their way through Asahi’s house, though, so he wasn’t terribly at fault, Asahi figured, even though he was bewildered and a little – well, upset, that Suga had come and thrown him off-guard so much. Asahi knew he couldn’t protest, though, because Suga wasn’t wrong – though Asahi had thought it was between him and Daichi, that there was nothing for Suga to really have anything to say about.

Once they were in Asahi’s room, Suga locked the door, worrying Asahi even further. Even Daichi raised his eyebrows, asking, “Was that really necessary?”

“Just as a precaution,” Suga said, his eyes darting around.

He looked between Asahi and Daichi and then back. “What’s up between you two?” he asked.

“Between us?” Daichi said. “Suga, don’t you think – ”

“You’re the one who came into my house!” Asahi cried. “Me and Daichi – we’re sorted, there’s nothing going on – ”

“Sorted.” Suga narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

Daichi flinched. Asahi noticed it; Daichi’s eyes were boring into Asahi now. “Yeah,” Daichi said. “I didn’t realize we were sorted, Asahi. I didn’t realize there was something we needed to sort out – ”

“There,” Asahi started, and then was at a loss for words. Both Daichi and Suga were staring at him hard, and Asahi wanted to curl up and cry a bit.

He settled for exclaiming, “Is there – there nothing between us, then?”

“You need to specify,” Suga said dryly. “I mean, between me and Daichi – ”

“Suga,” Daichi warned.

“Me and Daichi had something – ”

“Suga.”

“What?” Asahi said, because now Suga was looking at Daichi in the same way. Daichi had his arms crossed, expression warning – and what did Daichi not want Asahi to know?”

“It was minor,” Suga told Asahi. “One of the few times we met up, we were both stressed, and – ”

“Do we really need to tell Asahi?” Daichi asked him.

Suga spat at Daichi, “We never talked about it. I hate this – we all pretend like this is normal when this is not.” Then to Asahi, “Daichi and I hooked up. Once. It was – ”

” – nothing,” Daichi said.

“It was something,” Suga insisted.

Asahi’s mind was reeling. Of course this would happen – when Daichi and Suga were off at college together, alone –

Suga seemed to be able to read his mind. “Not that none of us have something with the other,” he continued, and glanced between Asahi and Daichi. “Right?”

Daichi sighed. “Okay, last Valentine’s Day, Asahi and I kissed – ”

“I thought we settled that,” Asahi said.

Daichi looked at him incredulously. “How? We didn’t talk about it.”

“That’s because you never want to talk about it.” Asahi’s room felt like it was getting smaller, and his throat was constricting. “And there’s – and Suga, we, in your bed that one time – ” and Suga looked at him like he expected Asahi to say that, like he could read his mind, and Asahi felt like he was stepping on all the wrong places, right into a trap.

He closed his eyes and sat down on his bed. “I can’t stop thinking about any of it.”

Suga sat down next to him. “It’s okay, Asahi – ”

“I don’t want any of this,” Asahi continued, the anxieties roiling through his mind. “I don’t – if they hadn’t had happened – ”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. His body was acutely aware of how close Suga was sitting to him – and then not anymore, when Suga got up, expression shuttering, giving Asahi a calculative look. Even Daichi looked somewhere between baffled and irritated.

Asahi looked up at them. “What?”

“You don’t – ” Daichi said, because Suga was just going back to Asahi’s door and unlocking it. “What do you want, Asahi?”

“I don’t know,” Asahi said hopelessly, feeling more and more like he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and he didn’t know how to salvage it. “I just – don’t like the way this makes me feel – ”

“What do you feel?” Suga said. His voice was hard.

Asahi shrugged. He wanted to say I don’t know, again, something like I have to pick between the two of you but he didn’t have to, and he didn’t want to say, Both of you, didn’t want to be –

Daichi was saying, “Tell us when you figure it out,” and his voice was cold too.

“We’re going,” Suga said to him.

Asahi watched as Daichi and Suga left, and Asahi had no idea what to do. What he had said. What he had done.

Why he was now alone in his room, feeling like this was supposed to end up somewhere else.

Do you know what you want yet?

It was a text from Suga. Asahi stared at it; it was only the next day, and Asahi’s stomach had been so bad, he’d nearly thrown up. He managed to stave off the feeling, but still he felt awful – and he kind of wanted to wait until Daichi and Suga went back to school and just – pretend. That’s what they were good at, right? That’s what they’d been doing – pretending.

But Suga was texting him, asking Asahi knew what he wanted – and how was Asahi supposed to know? The feelings he had for Suga, and for Daichi, were a whole mis of two in one, and he didn’t know how to keep them apart.

The thought of them being together – not without him, but the two of them –
Asahi sent back, I don’t know yet.

And then another thought occurred to him and he asked, Are you texting Daichi right now?

Yes, Suga replied, and said nothing more.

He didn’t ask if Daichi and Suga wanted to practice with the Karasuno volleyball team – and Daichi’s birthday was coming up, and Asahi didn’t want to think about that either.

It was his almost own birthday, and they weren’t at Daichi’s house, or Suga’s house, or even Asahi’s, and Asahi felt alone. Well, he wasn’t when he arrived at the high school – Tanaka and Kinoshita tackled him almost immediately, and since there was no room for Nishinoya, Nishinoya instead yelled in his loudest voice possible, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN.”

“Old man?” Asahi said, and laughed as Kinoshita leaped off him so Narita could hug him. “You – You guys are only a year younger than me.”

“You’re all old!” chirped Hinata. “I wanna be an old man, too.”

“No you don’t, Shouyou,” Nishinoya said, as Kageyama told Hinata how stupid he was. “Not an old man like Asahi-san.”

“Asahi-senpai,” Tanaka said, “is going to be the ripe age of – ”

“Okay,” Ennoshita said loudly, clapping his hands. “We’ve got to practice now – Asahi, did you come alone?”

“Yeah,” Asahi said, stomach sinking at the reminder. He hoped it didn’t show on his face.

“Okay,” Ennoshita said again, and began to lead the time into its stretches. Asahi followed suit so he wouldn’t sprain something while playing – he watched and listened as everyone talked excitedly about the new year.

No one asked him about Daichi and Suga – and it felt better to be with other people, so Asahi’s mind would get off it. Still, there was that part of Asahi that wanted to be around Daichi and Suga so badly, that wanted to be laughing into Daichi’s mouth after the haze of a snowy race, that wanted Suga curled up and warm against him again.

Asahi was divided off into a practice team with Nishinoya, Tanaka, Tsukishima, and two first years. Tanaka and Tsukishima started bantering; Asahi tried not to realize how isolated he felt. Maybe he had to ask the Neighborhood Association to come practice when Asahi wanted to, too.

Nishinoya seemed to notice that Asahi was lost in thought, since he piped up, “So, what are you doing for your birthday today, Asahi?”

“Oh,” Asahi said, thinking on what he was actually going to do (be with his family, slice a cake) than what he wanted to be doing (being with Daichi and Suga, in between them, in Suga’s house, cycling like a machine between using the bathroom.) “Um, celebrating with my family.”

“And with us,” Nishinoya added, grinning.

Asahi allowed it. “And with you,” he said.

It occurred to him that Nishinoya also knew Daichi and Suga quite well – of course, obviously, as they’d all played on the same team together for two years and Asahi was sure that the both of them would’ve come to practice if Asahi had asked.

Nishinoya didn’t ask him about either of them, but Asahi asked, “Nishinoya, what do – would it be weird if I, um. If I was interested in two people at the same time?”

Nishinoya’s eyes widened, and he stopped from where he was stretching his legs to pat Asahi on the back. “You’re getting around!” he said, making Asahi blush. “What’s weird about it?”

“Well,” Asahi said, and then fidgeted.

He didn’t – Suga had certainly suggested that he felt the same about Asahi, that he wanted – well, he wanted to know what Asahi wanted. It couldn’t be as easy as that, because it was – and Daichi, Asahi didn’t know what Daichi thought about any of it. Daichi had kissed him, and they hadn’t talked about it, and then they closed off and opened up and got back together again except they weren’t, and –

Asahi felt so confused and so nauseous that he clutched at his stomach.

Nishinoya peered at him curiously and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

“I just,” Asahi let out, and decided to say the first thing that came to mind. “Then what am I supposed to do about it? It just makes me feel so terrible all the time.”

“Tell them, then,” Nishinoya advised. “You’ll feel better if you just talk about it, you know. I promise.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” Asahi despaired.

Nishinoya pat him on the back as Ennoshita called them back to form their teams. “You’ll figure it out.”

And so it was Daichi’s birthday first and Asahi wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. If he had the words – if he even knew a little bit about what he wanted, what he wanted to say. Asahi stared at his phone, wanted to go to Daichi’s house, wanted to wish him a happy birthday and kiss him on the mouth again – wanted to just text Daichi, to say, Hope you have a good birthday and get a little ping of notification of Daichi thanking him, sending him something warm in his belly and his chest.

Asahi said nothing, did nothing, and Daichi’s birthday passed. And then so did his own.

But they were going to go back to university soon and Asahi kept thinking about what Nishinoya had told him. Saying – talking about it could end horribly, could make nothing reparable between them ever again – but that’s sort of what this felt like, that there was going to be a canyon between them until Asahi said something. Until Asahi did something.

And a couple days after Daichi’s birthday, Asahi felt horrible for not saying anything to him, that he must’ve been in some altered state of mind when in the middle of the day he went into the MMS with Daichi and Suga and sent, I have to tell you something.

Before he could regret it, his thumb was pressing send. Immediately after, panic climbed its way and spread all over Asahi’s chest that Asahi immediately dropped his phone. It was lucky he was on his bed; it fell with a soft thump! and lay open, like it was judging him.

It was barely a minute afterward when Suga said, You know what you want now? Asahi hated how accusatory Suga sounded – how much Asahi also wanted to kiss him, the desire suddenly so overwhelming that it nearly surprised Asahi. But he shouldn’t be surprised, should he? That’s what this had all been leading up to – the weird bubbly feeling, rising to the base of Asahi’s throat.

Asahi said, In person the same moment his doorbell rang. Asahi scrambled up to get it, thinking maybe it was Suga –

But Daichi was standing there, reading over his phone and looking up when Asahi opened the door. “I figured,” he said to Asahi, waving his phone. “We’ll just wait for Suga then.”

“Ah,” Asahi said, and then forcing his mind to process the words. “Yeah. I’ll just – I’ll get a jacket.”
“We’re going outside?” Daichi asked, his eyebrows raised.

Asahi shrugged. “I want to – talk, while we,” he said, and then shrugged again. Maybe it was giving him more room to run away, or he could leave when he wanted to – or Daichi and Suga could, his mind told him, and Asahi was trying not to panic as much as he wanted to. “Outside,” he said.

Daichi squinted at him. “Okay,” he said, as Asahi began to get his jacket and scarf and earmuffs.

Asahi tugged his overcoat on, and then remembered – Daichi standing here, how much Asahi wanted to touch him, to feel every bit of him. But also –

“Happy birthday,” Asahi said to him. “Sorry, I – ”

“Oh, yeah,” Daichi said, like he’d forgotten. Under ordinary circumstances Daichi definitely would’ve berated him, but right now Daichi just kept glancing between his phone and Asahi. “Thanks,” Daichi said. “Happy birthday to you, too.”

Asahi shuddered. “We’re the same age as Suga now.”

“I shouldn’t miss Suga’s birthday next time,” Daichi said.

Asahi thought he might make some comment about what he – Daichi had missed, last time during Suga’s birthday, though Asahi realized that Daichi didn’t even know, even though Asahi wasn’t sure what had happened then either, but it was definitely something, both Suga and he knew.

Asahi said, “I wouldn’t want you to,” and blushed, thinking about what it would be like waking up in between them – pressed close together, not in their own sleeping bags.

Daichi cocked his head with interest. “Asahi? Did you want to – ”

“I’m here,” Suga said, appearing at Asahi’s open doorway and panting breathlessly. “You guys left the door open? You’re letting the cold into your house, Asahi.”

“Sorry,” Asahi said by instinct, but he was already ready to go and was getting to close the door. “I – Outside then?”

“Okay,” Suga said, stepping back and letting Daichi and Asahi join him on Asahi’s front porch.

Asahi closed the door, and noticed Suga and Daichi watching him. “Can we,” Asahi said, gesturing vaguely in front of them. He didn’t want to do this in his house – so close, and last time, that hadn’t been – that hadn’t gotten over well.

Daichi and Suga seemed to be something along the same lines, because they nodded and started off. Asahi breathed through his mouth, watching the cold air turn to wisps in front of his face, still freezing.

Daichi laughed when he saw Asahi shiver. “Your tolerance for the cold hasn’t gotten better?”

“He’s still growing,” Suga said to Daichi. Then, smiling at Asahi, “We all are.”

His smile was bright, as was the snow around them, as was the sun shining through the clouds. Asahi’s heart missed a step, and he swallowed and said, “Um, yeah.”

“It’s not that cold out,” Daichi said, though his tone was teasing and his gaze was fixated on Asahi, like he was waiting for a reaction. Suga looked like he was waiting, too – Asahi realized they were waiting for him.

They may have been waiting for him after all these days. Asahi wondered how long they would – not just for this, but for the future. For everything – volleyball, getting themselves back together – he wondered if Daichi and Suga had hooked up again after they’d talked about it, it being in the open, without him, or –

“I’m not alone, am I?” Asahi blurted, stopping suddenly.

Suga blinked at him. “Alone?”

“You’re not,” Daichi said immediately, though his eyebrows were furrowed like he didn’t understand what Asahi was saying.

Asahi shook his head. “I’m just – ” he said. “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to think that you two – ”

“There is no us two,” Suga said immediately.

“Really,” Daichi added. “You’re not alone, Asahi.”

“Because,” Asahi said, and then bit his lip. “Because I don’t either of you to think that – I don’t want the – ” He flailed his arms helplessly, and then between the two of them. “I don’t have to pick, do I?”

“Pick between what?” Daichi said blankly.

But Suga seemed to get the idea. He smiled at Asahi, and slipped one of his hands into Asahi’s like it belonged there. “Of course you don’t,” he said. “When we woke up on my birthday last year, I realized that there wasn’t – there wasn’t just one of you.”

“Suga,” Daichi said, annoyed.

Suga swiveled to him. “He means between picking between the both of us, duh,” he said, before elbowing Asahi with the arm that had the hand Asahi was holding. “Right?”

“Right,” Asahi said, and then looked straight at Daichi, who was staring at the two of them. “The three of us together – that’s what I want,” he said, to Suga, to Daichi. “Not just – friends, but when we – like sleepovers.”

“Sleepovers,” Daichi repeated.

Suga rolled his eyes. “Oh, give him a break,” he said to Daichi. “You know what he means.”

“I suppose,” Daichi said, though he was getting closer to them. Asahi saw him take Suga’s hand, saw Suga squeeze, and nothing had felt more right. “This isn’t just something we’re not going to talk about, is it?”

“If by that you mean we are going to talk about it,” Suga said, and Asahi laughed.

“I – didn’t know how to say it before,” he admitted. “I thought – I didn’t think you would both – ”

“We know what you mean,” Daichi told him. “There’s just something better, isn’t there?”

“About us?” Suga laughed too. “Definitely. I don’t know about either of you – ”

“I feel the same,” Asahi said quickly, before he messed something up this time, before something got lost in translation.

But Suga beamed at him, and Daichi did too, and Asahi didn’t feel like he needed to wait for the summer, or their next birthdays, to feel this together and warm. “I think we should have a sleepover tonight,” Suga said, and this time squeezed Asahi’s hand. “To make up for the both of your birthdays.”

Asahi knocked on the bathroom door.

“Occupied!” Suga called.

“I know,” Asahi said; Suga had announced rather unceremoniously that he’d needed to go to the bathroom just minutes ago. “Daichi and I were just wondering if you minded taking the middle.”

“Why would I take the middle?” Suga said. “It’s your birthdays.”

“You’re the guest,” Asahi tried to protest back. “And there can’t be two of us in the middle.”

“You two figured it out,” Suga said through the door.

Asahi made his way back to Suga’s bedroom. Daichi was sitting on Suga’s mattress, and said, “So?”

Asahi shook his head. “He wanted us to pick,” he said.

Daichi slung Suga’s sleeping bag in the middle of his and Asahi’s. “Suga’s in the middle, then,” he said.

Asahi yelped, though he didn’t know what to do – he and Daichi had already arranged their sleeping bags as so. “I mean, he said that he shouldn’t be in the middle, because it’d been our birthdays,” he said.

Daichi rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. But we can’t both be in the middle.”

“That’s what I tried to tell him,” Asahi said.

Daichi patted Suga’s sleeping place cheerfully. “So Suga’s in the middle then,” he said. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Of course,” Asahi said quickly.

Daichi just laughed and then he was standing up, close to Asahi – and they’d done this earlier, both nearly a year ago and today – but Asahi was sure he’d never tired of it. Daichi licked into his mouth, chaste and wet and certainly enough.

Asahi’s eyes were closed when Suga’s voice said, “Oi, don’t do anything without me.”

Asahi rushed to pull back, but Suga was grinning at them. His eyes were dark with interest, as Daichi said, “It took you long enough.”

“Yes, sorry I occupy a functioning body.” Suga rolled his eyes, then glanced and did a double-take at Asahi’s dresser. “Asahi, what’s this?”

“What?”

Suga was gesturing to a photo Asahi had propped up on his dresser – a picture of him, Asahi, and Daichi, Daichi’s arms slung around the both of them, all of them grinning at the camera. It was the same – and Asahi knew it, even though the photo had been up before he knew – identical in Suga’s room, in Daichi’s.

Asahi knew what he was really looking at though, as Daichi said, “Oh, I have that picture in my dorm, too.”

“You forgot to bring it to college,” Asahi said. “Your sister told me.”

“I like to keep it as a reminder of high school,” Daichi said. “And of other stuff.”

But Suga had his eyes narrowed, and said to Asahi, “You didn’t break into my room and steal this from me, did you?”

“No,” Asahi said quickly. The photo was in a frame – identical to the one that Asahi had given Suga for his birthday, but not the same. “I’d just – I wanted us to match – ”

“What!” Daichi squawked. “You guys have matching photo frames?”

“Are you serious?” Suga said.

Asahi looked between them and nodded. He was blushing, he knew; now Suga was just grinning at him, and strode over Asahi’s room and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“You’re cheesy,” he said to Asahi.

“I thought it’d be nice,” Asahi insisted, even though Suga had give him another kiss, on the jaw.

“You’re too earnest,” Daichi told him. “I want one too. This is what I want as my belated birthday present.”

“I should just get it for you tomorrow,” Asahi said.

Suga sat next to him, but reached over his body to press a kiss on Daichi’s mouth, too. “Or next week,” he suggested. “Not that soon.”

“Soon,” Daichi said petulantly. “You’re not allowed to be matching without me.”

“Ugh,” Suga said, pulling away. “Did either of you brush your teeth? I’m getting an aftertaste.”

“That’s what you get for jumping too quickly,” Daichi told him.

“I don’t mind the taste,” Asahi said, and Daichi grinned and curled his body over so that his and Asahi’s mouths could meet too.

Suga whined, “Hey, you guys should brush your teeth. I mind the taste.”

“We don’t care,” Daichi said, but Asahi was already getting up and heading out of his room.

“We do,” Asahi called behind him. “Daichi, let’s go to the bathroom.”

“I can’t believe you guys are planning things without me,” Suga said, though his tone was teasing and he was following Daichi out anyway. “Kissing, going to the bathroom – ”

“I don’t think you want to be there when we go to the bathroom,” Daichi said to him.

“Of course I do,” Suga said, following him in. Asahi was already getting the toothpaste on his toothbrush, then handing the tube to Daichi. Daichi took it; they exchanged a grin in the mirror. “Why would I want to miss any of this?”

“I can think of a few reasons,” Suga said, and Daichi smeared toothpaste on his collarbone, and Suga yelped, and Asahi laughed through his toothbrush so hard that he only barely managed not to choke.

They were all still awake some hours later, some time after they had returned from the bathroom and Suga had pointed out that there was no point for them to spread their sleeping bags all over the floor, even though Asahi’s bed was not nearly big enough to fit all of them, but they tried, anyway. They were squeezed together, laughing a bit, even Daichi, who was in the middle and his shoulder kept bumping into Asahi’s mouth.

Suga said into the dark, “You have to come visit us, Asahi.”

“At university,” Daichi added.

“I want to,” Asahi said. He felt warm – inside and out – even though it was a cold winter. “Alone?”

“Yes,” Suga said, at the same time Daichi said, “No.” Asahi heard a cuff – probably Daichi on Suga’s arm – and Suga laughed. “What other choice does he have?”

“We all have to meet up, together” Daichi said. “Usually.”

“It’s not like Asahi can visit us every weekend,” Suga said.

“I can try,” Asahi said with bravado, and both Daichi and Suga snorted this time. “I can! I have the money, I can – ”

“We won’t make you do that for us,” Daichi told him, rolling over onto his back.

“I want to,” Asahi said.

Both of them were quiet; then Suga punched Daichi’s shoulder. Asahi could see it in the dim light of the outside, a bit of the moon shining through his window, and he propped up onto his shoulder. “Look, we underestimated him,” Suga said, and Daichi laughed, chest shaking with glee.

There was a pleasant warmth all around Asahi’s middle, and it felt like it was threatening to burst and Asahi would let it. Waking up – sleeping with – sharing a space with Daichi and Suga was much better than the morning after Suga’s birthday.

Though, Asahi realized, that hadn’t been that good too.

“You have to help me clear out the garden at my house tomorrow,” Suga was saying. “The snow there – it’s ridiculous.”

Daichi rolled his eyes and looked up at Asahi. “He only wants us for our muscles,” he said.

“I have muscles,” Suga said.

“Suga does have muscles,” Asahi said, mostly to Daichi who’s lips twitched.

“So that means we won’t help him tomorrow,” Daichi said.

Suga whacked his bare shoulder again. “You will,” he insisted, and both Asahi and Daichi laughed. Then, “We can shower together afterward.”

“Stop being suggestive,” Daichi said, as Asahi felt his whole body heat up – and Daichi could surely feel it, he was pressed up against him. “You’re making Asahi blush.”

“Maybe that’s my goal,” Suga said.

“You’re both blushing too,” Asahi said, glancing between their faces in the evening light.

“We are not,” Daichi said, blushing. “You’re the blushing one. You get embarrassed easily the most.”

“I do not,” Asahi said, and then Daichi was tackling him. They were a mess of limbs and kisses, and Suga said, “I’m embarrassed for the both of you.”

The night was a mess of things – happy things, like they were in another world and Asahi could barely believe that there was a place outside his bedroom, where he and Daichi and Suga were, joined together like puzzle pieces on his bed, too tight but maybe just right. It was dark, but also so bright, and sleeping had never been so easy and comfortable before tonight.

And then they were at the train station, and they weren’t kissing because Tanaka and Nishinoya and Yamaguchi and all the others were seeing them off too, but Asahi kept glancing at Suga and Daichi and saw the same thing in their eyes – that they didn’t want to go, that they’d see each other soon.

They were like a circuit, buzzing perfectly, and Asahi didn’t know what the future would hold.

“We’re going to be at college soon too!” Tanaka was saying, and Suga broke his gaze from Asahi’s to react.

“Oh no,” he laughed. “We better watch out.”

“We’ll be city boys too, right?” Ennoshita said to Tanaka, who said something about texting Taketora from Nekoma, after the spring match. Asahi was going to practice with them as usual; he was going to be working with Shimada-san and Takinoue-san as usual; he was going to go at his own pace, and so were Daichi and Suga.

They’d already made plans to meet up two weeks from now, and Asahi couldn’t wait.

As the first and second years bid their goodbyes, Nishinoya turned to Asahi. “So!” he said loudly to Asahi. “Did you tell the people you liked you were interested in them? Do I get credit for giving you advice?”

Asahi turned beet red as Suga and Daichi turned to them curiously. “I, um,” he said.

Daichi came over and slung his arm over one of Asahi’s shoulders. “Who were you going to talk to?” he asked Asahi. “I hope they’re cute.”

“I hope they’re sane,” Suga said, before going to say something to Yamaguchi.

Nishinoya looked between Asahi and Daichi and Suga with a grin, before throwing his head back and laughing loudly. “I’m joking!” he said, though Asahi highly doubted it. “About the credit thing – you did say something, though, right?” His eyes were twinkling, like he knew the answer.

“Thanks you to, I guess,” Asahi said.

Daichi tightened his grip around Asahi’s neck and gave him a little squeeze. “You don’t have to give Nishinoya credit for anything.”

Nishinoya puffed his chest. “I deserve credit for everything.”

“Don’t you think I deserve credit too?” Asahi said.

“You deserve credit for existing,” Daichi told him.

Suga came over to them, bumped shoulders with Daichi. “Hey,” he said to Daichi, before the rest of them; his gaze lingered on Asahi’s, and Asahi smiled. “Our train’s coming, we should go.”

“You’re going off to college again,” Tanaka sobbed dramatically. “And Kiyoko-san didn’t even come to visit – ”

“I visited her,” Yachi interrupted.

Tanaka and Nishinoya turned on her. “What?”

As they pestered the cowered Yachi for answers, Asahi said to Daichi and Suga, “We – I’ll see you soon, then.” Daichi and Suga’s train was coming in, their hair whipping as the air gusted around them.

“Obviously,” Suga said.

Daichi gave Asahi one last – a real hug. “We can’t wait for you.”

“I hope you can,” Asahi said, and he and Daichi and Suga all smiled at each other – they’d kissed their fill earlier, the past days, the past evenings. Daichi and Suga were going to go back to their classes, Asahi was going to go back to his life – but they were all on the same path, had time for each other.

Then Daichi and Suga were boarding the train, and Asahi was waving along with the rest of the Karasuno volleyball team. “Bye,” Asahi said, as the train took off towards the city – and it was a promise for something bigger, for them.

Notes:

for the record, asahi canonically states that he didn't plan on going to uni right after hs! i did quite a bit of research for this fic and apologize for any and all of my inaccuracies (╥ᆺ╥；)

Click here to cancel reply.

Notice:

Solstice

by aroceu

Summary:

Notes:

I. Summer

II. Equinox

Notes:

search

© 2009-2026 aroceu