Like how most things start, it’s all Dustin’s fault.
I wrote this over a year ago and have kind of resigned myself to never writing more of it (at least in the near future) but it's also the most hilarious thing I ever wrote, so... here. To absolutely no one's surprise it was written while I was obsessed with llsif (I have since deleted it from my phone), and nothing about this is supposed to make sense.
This is also probably for like a weirdly limited audience who has both watched TSN and also knows anything about llsif.
Also there's definitely Mark/Eduardo if you squint. Or. Really. You don't have to squint for it.
THANKS @ LAN FOR THIS TITLE
Like how most things start, it’s all Dustin’s fault.
It is February and Dustin is no less of an internet cretin than he was yesterday, and no less of a nerd yesterday, so it’s only natural that he stumbles upon Love Live! School Idol Festival on the internet. Aside from the appeal of cute anime girls dancing and swaying their hips, Dustin’s always felt that his suite has needed a feminine touch. Okay, not really, because he enjoys stewing in his farts and the dirty bathroom (until Eduardo comes over and clucks his tongue and both he and Chris manage to get Dustin and Mark to assist with cleaning it, never mind that Chris never actually cares until Eduardo is around.)
But Love Live! is impossibly feminine, in this totally cool way that Dustin can appreciate and kind of wants more of. There’s also, like, the hip swaying. And the cute anime girl stuff. But don’t let anyone tell you that he got into Love Live! purely for shallow reasons, because he didn’t.
Anyway, so he sets up a Crunchyroll account, he watches a few episodes on his laptop to see how it is. And it’s good—it’s really good. And Dustin doesn’t really have any shame about liking shoujo—though he probably should, people will call him a pervert. So maybe he has a little shame, but not enough to one day set up his laptop in their suite’s common room and connect it to their tv via HDMI.
The first time he does this, Chris is out at a club meeting or a class or something, and Mark is in his room as usual, pondering over his laptop and ignoring Dustin, as he had been the last couple of days Dustin had been watching Love Live! So Dustin doesn’t really care, flies through a couple of more episodes of Love Live! and lounges on their couch.
Chris comes in. He says, “Hey Dustin,” as he usually does, when Dustin is conscious and doing things and Chris comes back from places. Dustin says hey back.
Then Chris glances at the tv screen, and maybe upon reflection Dustin would’ve been worried about judgment or scorn or something. But Chris says, sounding very interested, “What are you watching?”
So that’s how Chris gets sucked into Love Live!, too. It’s not a fast process, because it takes about a week of him just finding Dustin already watching (or rewatching, as it’s not a very long series) episodes on their tv, or eyeing Dustin sitting on the couch until Dustin decides, hey, wouldn’t it be a nice time to watch some random episodes of Love Live? Chris always joins him when he’s in. Dustin catches on quickly and is kind enough to not watch episodes without Chris around.
And he doesn’t realize that Chris is actually as deep as he is until one day Chris makes a comment about Maki’s character development, and an offhand remark about how she deserves more screentime. The realization hits Dustin right in the face—or rather, the shoulder, where Mark has pegged a pen at him because they’re being too loud.
“Oh my god,” Dustin says to Chris, ignoring Mark. “You are totally invested.”
Chris looks pained, like he doesn’t want to admit it. “The animation is so weird,” he says. “They look like MMDs when they dance.”
And that’s how Dustin finds out that Chris has been looking up Love Live! MMDs and nearly tackles him from laughing. All those times in the past week Chris had been holing himself into his laptop with headphones, and Dustin thought he’d just been looking up porn.
Chris grumbles and tells him to switch episodes on Crunchyroll.
Then, because where Dustin and Chris and Mark exist (okay, really, Mark), Eduardo gets roped in, too.
It’s been about a couple of weeks since Dustin’s first started—Eduardo’s been swinging by when Dustin has to study or is out at class or conked out somewhere, and Dustin has been watching Love Live! mostly in the afternoons, when Eduardo’s classes are. And last weekend Eduardo had some sort of investor’s club thing, so he hadn’t been able to drop by when Chris and Dustin did a marathon of the second series and cried manly tears.
So it’s around the next weekend when Dustin has decided, well, it’s time to watch more Love Live! Chris is telling him about the video game, and they’re both excited. Dustin is rifling through the episodes and picks one of his favorites when Eduardo comes in, carrying a box of pizza and stopping behind the couch in the living room.
“What’re you guys watching?” he asks, sounding amused.
Both Chris and Dustin turn to him.
“Wardo,” Dustin says. “Before you say anything, okay, a lot of people like this show, and it has a video game. Go on, Chris,” he pokes Chris. “Tell him.”
Chris rolls his eyes. “It has a video game,” he says obediently.
Eduardo smiles at the both of them. “I’m not judging,” he says, though there’s definitely something teasing about his tone. “What are you watching?” he asks again.
So Dustin and Chris tell him about Honoka’s plan to save the school, and the school idol festival, and the friendship and emotions and everything—“But no spoilers!” Dustin adds quickly. Eduardo looks bemused, but he sets the pizza down on the coffee table and joins them on the couch and agrees to watch an episode with them.
About three hours later, when the three of them are crying (more manly tears) and eating pizza on the couch, Mark comes out of his cavern. “I smelled pizza,” he says, sniffing the air, his eyebrows furrowed.
Dustin kicks lightly at the box on the table, sniffling against Eduardo’s shoulder. “We saved a slice for you,” he says through his tears.
Mark looks at him strangely, but takes it.
“Mark,” Eduardo says. He sounds slightly more controlled than Dustin, and Chris if he spoke (Chris hates talking while he cries), but his voice is thick. “Have you watched Love Live?”
“Uh.” Mark glances at the tv screen. “No? Is this the dumb thing Dustin’s been watching for like, the past month now?”
“It’s not dumb!” Dustin says indignantly.
“And it hasn’t been a month.” Chris’s voice is surprisingly steady. He wipes at his face. “You should watch it, Mark. I think you’d enjoy it.”
Dustin snorts. “You’re being optimistic,” he says to Chris.
“Yeah Mark,” says Eduardo. “Come join us.”
Mark rolls his eyes and goes back to his room.
*
It doesn’t stop there, though. Soon enough the three of them download the game to their phones, and Dustin is so confused but so enamored, so he reads up on some of the guides online while he plays to fully understand how it works.
(It’s 2004? What? I can’t hear you over the sound of Love Live.)
Chris is equally smitten, though he really just wants an Ultra Rare Maki—he’d looked them up, and she’s pretty much his favorite, anyway. He reads over Dustin’s shoulder on the nights that Dustin basically chains himself to his computer almost as badly as Mark does, learning about the School Idol Festival gameplay. It’s hard at first, because it’s like DDR with your fingers except more complicated and with cute girls; but soon enough Chris full combos Mermaid Festa vol. 1 on hard and laughs in Dustin’s face when Dustin curses him out for it.
They’ve seen Eduardo play, especially after that first night when they all got registered together. Chris and Dustin just assume that Eduardo’s adapting to this game at the same pace as they are, until one day Eduardo comes over while Chris and Dustin are pseudo-competitively playing Love Live in the living room.
“Hey,” Eduardo says, waving a hand as Dustin finishes a song.
“Fuck!” he says, because even though he’d gotten a full combo on Snow Halation before, he still has yet to get a perfect score. “Hi Wardo,” he grumbles.
Eduardo looks amused as he pulls out his phone. “How are you doing, Chris?” he asks over the couch.
Chris is bent over his phone. “Give me a minute,” he mutters, because he’s still in the middle of Aishiteru Banzai.
Eduardo snickers and opens up the app on his own game. Dustin watches over his shoulder as he begins playing.
And Eduardo is like… really good. Like, ridiculously good. He’s not doing a hard song, which Dustin had thought he was—he’s doing the B-Sides, the expert songs. It’d taken Dustin and Chris a bit to find the B-Sides, so it was probably the same for Eduardo, but—Eduardo is like, killing it. In the best way possible.
Eduardo plays like it’s no big deal, though he still is by the time Chris finishes Aishiteru Banzai. “What song is that?” he asks them. “I don’t think I’ve unlocked it yet.”
“It’s—” Dustin is wide-eyed and watching over Eduardo’s shoulder. “It’s an expert song, man.”
“An expert song? No way.” Chris scurries over and crowds around Eduardo’s left shoulder. “How is he not dead yet?”
“I don’t know,” Dustin says, with that same awe in his voice.
The song finishes just then and Eduardo looks at the both of them. “What?” he asks. There is a faint expression on his face that reminds Dustin of Elle Woods’ what, like it’s hard? (So sue him, he’s a sucker for feminine things for the sake of them being feminine, okay.)
“Wardo,” says Chris, just staring at him. “You’re like a wizard at this game, man.”
Eduardo laughs, bashfully. “Nah, it’s just a game,” he says. “I don’t—I only play when I get bored. Or when I’m waiting for class to start,” he muses.
“I’d be playing now, but I’m out of LP.” Dustin looks at his phone with despair. “Wardo, do you have any extra money to donate? Gotta get those Love Gems.”
Eduardo laughs again. “I’m not giving you money for Love Live, Dustin.”
Dustin shrugs. “Had to try.”
*
So they play dutifully on their phones. It’s really only Dustin who does, though, because after a week of intensity and then Chris’s has exams and club meetings and things. Eduardo stops by as often as he does, more often now just for the sake of Dustin and Chris and Love Live, too. But he forgets sometimes, or Dustin makes him complete Expert songs or full combo some songs on Hard at his first try; so half of Eduardo’s Love Live time isn’t even on his own account.
Dustin gets to rank 50 several weeks later and there’s an event. He’s been saving up his Love Gems to Honors scout, and there’s a UR Kotori scouting giveaway, and he needs her. He needs her like cheese on rice, and other metaphors. Eduardo’s been playing a decent amount to stack up event points for him, and he’s either gonna be spontaneous or pee his pants. So before he can think about it, he spends fifty points for an honors scout.
And he gets her.
“Holy shit!” he yells. The dorm’s completely empty (except for him and Mark, who doesn’t count as a person) so he doesn’t care too much about being loud. “Holy shit!”
The UR Kotori is beaming up at him. He could jump into his phone and kiss her, if, you know, he could.
Instead, he shouts again and tosses his phone up in the air, before rushing to catch it because if it breaks and his account dies, he’ll probably cry forever. “Holy shit,” he whispers excitedly to his phone again, staring lovingly into Kotori’s anime eyes.
It’s too much to keep contained. Eduardo’s bad at picking up his phone if Mark’s not the one calling him; Chris is probably in the middle of class and will probably kill Dustin if he called him and humiliated him. So, eagerly, Dustin dives for Mark’s door.
Mark never locks his door, mostly because he trusts Dustin and Chris enough not to invade his privacy (and also because whenever Eduardo comes over and goes in, Mark doesn’t like getting up from his desk to open the door for him.) Dustin slams the door open and goes, “Mark, holy shit, guess wh—”
The faint sound of WILD STARS is coming from somewhere. Mark is sitting at his desk, scowling into his lap, where both of his hands are.
Dustin stares.
“Are you playing Love Live?” he screeches.
Mark makes a growling noise. Dustin cowers a little, even though Mark isn’t even looking at him.
“Wait a minute,” Mark grumbles, not looking up from presumably what is his phone.
Dustin doesn’t know what to say. Mark’s been holing himself in his room no more or less often than before—maybe a bit more than before, now that Dustin thinks about it—but Dustin had always thought Mark was doing what he always does, making some program, changing the world or whatever.
He didn’t think that Mark was playing Love Live and hiding it from them.
He waits patiently as Mark finishes the song. He hears Mark curse under his breath, before looking up and scowling even harder at Dustin, like Dustin is the song he failed to full combo.
“What?” Mark says, annoyed.
“You—You’re—”
Dustin points at him.
Mark glares at his index finger. “Yes,” he says, like he doesn’t have his fucking iPhone in his lap with the sound of Love Live sounds going on. He shuts it to sleep and it silences immediately. “What?”
“You’re playing Love Live, Mark!” Dustin squawks. “Why didn’t you—You know we’ve been watching it for months, when did you—”
“I don’t see how that’s pertinent information,” says Mark, which is Mark-speak for a really damn long time.
“When did this happen?” Dustin demands. “What rank are you on? Oh my god, did you know that Wardo’s like, a genius at the game? Who’s your best girl? Have you wa—”
“I don’t know how you expect me to answer all your questions if you keep firing them off like that.”
“Well I’m sorry, I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’ve been Love Live-ing without telling any of us!”
Mark glares at him for a minute. Then he looks back down at his phone.
“What did you come in here to tell me?” he says, trying to sound irritated and failing.
And Dustin beams, because holy shit, right! “Kotori came home!” he says eagerly. “I scouted an Ultra Rare, so I’m—”
“Congratulations,” says Mark.
“Who’s your favorite girl?”
This is when Mark turns back to his computer, placing his hand on his mouse’s computer and clicking at whatever’s on his screen. “Not telling,” he says.
*
Like everyone expects and Mark expects and hates, Dustin texts Chris and Eduardo excitedly about this development of Mark, which means that Chris comes home and knocks on Mark’s door and catches him in the middle of a song (again), and Eduardo comes over that night.
Mark is grumbly, but at least he joins them in the sitting room and lets them pester him with questions.
“Two months,” he says, when Eduardo asks him how long he’s been playing.
“Yes,” he says, when Chris asks him if he’s watched the anime.
“Not telling,” he says, again, when Dustin asks him who his favorite girl is.
He goes back to his room to brood, and probably play more Love Live. Eduardo watches after him (as Eduardo does), while Dustin leans forward conspiratorially.
“So who do you think it is?” he asks.
“What, his best girl?” says Chris. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s Nico. Maybe that’s why he’s not telling us.”
“There’s nothing wrong with liking Nico,” Eduardo says airily.
Dustin elbows him. “Third year fucker.”
Eduardo frowns. “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he says. “Also you make it sound wrong.”
Chris ignores him. “Maybe he’s embarrassed about it? Who would Mark be embarrassed by?”
“I don’t know,” says Dustin. “I mean, I like the best girl, so it’s obviously not Kotori.”
“‘Obviously.’” Chris snorts. “I would say the same about Maki, but that does seem to be Mark’s type.”
“You think?”
“No,” says Eduardo thoughtfully. “Maki’s probably not his favorite. I don’t think any of the first year girls are his type.”
“I don’t think girls are his type in general,” says Dustin.
“Girls aren’t my type in general either,” Chris points out.
Dustin elbows Chris, this time.
“Who do you think, Wardo?” Dustin asks Eduardo.
Eduardo stares at Mark’s closed door, where the sounds of Wonderful Rush are faintly blaring out. “I don’t know,” he muses.
*
Okay, so it’s still Dustin’s fault that Mark gets into Love Live too. It’s not that Mark’s completely unaware that both of his roommates have this new obsession over some anime girls who sing and dance and wear short skirts. Mark rolls his eyes and thinks it’s stupid, because obviously it’s catered towards guys who have nothing else to jack off to except for Japanese animation. And Mark is above that. He really is.
But then one afternoon Dustin and Chris leave to go for dinner after Mark had mumbled, “No,” from his desk because they weren’t hungry and he still had a tuna salad sandwich in the mini-fridge. And then an hour later he had been hungry, so he stretched his legs and took a break by going to the mini-fridge, which was in the common room, along with their tv.
And their tv was on. Not only that, but Dustin’s computer was still hooked up, so Love Live was still playing. Dustin apparently hasn’t taken autoplay off, so it’s been playing. Mark hadn’t noticed because he had his headphones on.
So he’d begun to watch absently as he ate his sandwich. And the episode wasn’t that bad. And then it rolled to another one, and his suitemates hadn’t come back yet, so Mark grabbed a beer and watched another.
By the time Chris and Dustin had come back (this is before they’d gotten Eduardo hooked), Mark is back in his room and watching the rest of the anime. Not only that, but he’s already done a thorough research on Love Live, found out there was a game, downloaded the game, and has chosen his best girl to be his first Rare card.
He knows he is already in deep. He blames Dustin.
*
Unfortunately, unlike coding or fencing, rhythm games are not something Mark is naturally good at.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath as he misses a note. “Shit,” he curses again.
He’s playing Snow Halation on Easy.
It’s fun though, is the thing. He hates the sound of the ‘Good’ chimes – they haunt him in his sleep – and the only song he’s managed to full combo so far is Bokuro no Live Kimi to no Life. On Easy, mind you. But besides that, it’s satisfying, and it doesn’t take long before Mark is calculating and scheduling alarms for the next time he can play with full LP so he doesn’t have to waste time doing other things, like coding or talking to his friends.
Who, speaking of, haven’t noticed. That’s good.
Mark isn’t… embarrassed, necessarily. Really, he isn’t. He’s not going to go up to people on the street saying that he genuinely enjoys this thing with anime girls bouncing around in dresses, because, well.
He watches the anime once. He watches the anime again. Maybe he sniffs, but no one else is around so maybe it doesn’t actually happen.
(Later, Dustin says, “If a Mark Zuckerberg cries and no one else is around, does he make a sound?”
Chris actually laughs.
Mark groans. “I hate how I actually enjoy that.”)
From an objective stance, the anime is actually pretty well-written, aside from the annoying fanservice. From another objective stance, the game does well, and is catchy to play, despite the occasional lags. Mark bangs his knee against his deck from cursing so violently when he lags once, but Chris and Dustin are waiting for their LP to restore by playing Call of Duty, so they don’t hear.
Look, okay. The thing is, Mark wouldn’t care about something so much if he didn’t care about the protagonist. They’re the protagonist. You think he watched Star Wars but hated Luke, or even Anakin? If he did, he wouldn’t even have made himself sit through the first twenty minutes. Why would he waste his time on something if he didn’t like the main character? That’s what the narrative follows, what the story is trying to win you over with.
And, okay. Mark was pretty won over from the get-go. He does genuinely like every one of the girls, would probably easily defend any of them. And Honoka—
She’s a selfless leader. A good one.
Mark really likes her.
*
It takes Eduardo, Chris, and Dustin three weeks to crack him.
“Are you going to tell me who your best girl is yet?” Dustin asks. They’re sitting in the computer lab, except while Dustin is working on something for his class, Mark is sitting at the computer next to him and playing Love Live on his lap. (He has his headphones on.)
Mark makes a disgruntled noise.
“Mark,” Dustin says, but Mark doesn’t look up.
Dustin actually whips Mark’s phone out of his hand. Mark actually shouts. He stands up.
“Give that back,” he says.
“Not until you tell me who your best girl is,” Dustin challenges.
Mark sighs and rolls his eyes. “Why do you care? What does it matter?”
“Because you won’t tell us,” Dustin says emphatically. “Are you embarrassed? Is it Nico? We want to know.”
“First of all,” and somehow Mark managed to snatch his phone back from Dustin, even though Dustin’s about five feet away from him, “there would be nothing embarrassing if my best girl was Nico. Second of all, no.”
“Wardo loves Nico,” Dustin says.
Mark doesn’t care. “Third of all, you’re really lucky that I finished that song before you took my phone, or else I would’ve deleted all of your homework.” He returns to his game.
Dustin frowns.
*
“So,” says Chris, from the couch. “Who’s your best girl?”
Mark looks up from his desk. His door is open because it’s no longer a secret that he’s in as deep as the rest of them, and he can actually Full Combo songs on Hard now. Plus, Chris is rewatching the episode where they go to Maki’s cottage. Again.
“Dustin put you up to this,” Mark says.
Chris shrugs and shakes his head. “Not really.”
Mark fixes a look on him.
“It’s not that hard to figure out,” he says, before returning to his game.
“That really doesn’t help. At all.”
Mark ignores him.
*
Admittedly, Eduardo’s favorite room in the Kirkland suite is Mark’s bedroom. Mostly because Mark is his best friend and there’s… other stuff to go along with that, but also because Mark’s window has the best view of outside and Eduardo has been on, is more used to Mark’s bed. Mark always codes at his desk for his posture, which he’s been retaining for fencing; but he also plays Love Live at his desk, too, usually hunched over, and lately rendering the whole posture aspect moot.
So, Eduardo takes his bed. He leans back against the wall and Mark’s pillow, economics textbook on his lap. He’s not reading it, though, because he still has about 40LP left.
Mark mutters something when he’s done with his own song. He puts his phone on his table. “I ran out of LP,” he says to Eduardo.
Eduardo, who is in the middle of Takaramonos on Expert, makes a noise of assent.
Mark watches him for a moment, before getting up from his desk to watch over Eduardo’s shoulder. He’d never watched Eduardo play before but always assumed that he liked it enough—though Mark and Dustin are the ones who log in every day, it slips Eduardo’s mind at least once a week.
But, yeah, so Mark hadn’t expected Eduardo to be playing an Expert song.
And he didn’t expect him to be so good.
“You’re playing on Expert,” Mark says, watching Eduardo’s thumbs fly over the screen.
“Yeah.” Eduardo doesn’t look up.
Mark watches until Eduardo finishes. When Eduardo looks at him again, Mark is still staring at his fingers. With like—wonder. Or envy. Or maybe mystery?
Eduardo clears his throat. That breaks Mark’s daze.
“So Chris and Dustin tell me that you won’t tell them who your best girl is,” he says to Mark.
Mark blinks, then lifts a shoulder. “It’s not that hard to figure out.”
Eduardo laughs a little. “It is,” he says, before looking over his textbook to find out where he left off. He can’t remember. “You’re not the easiest person in the world to figure out, Mark.”
Mark shrugs. “You like guessing things.”
“Probability isn’t ‘guessing.’”
“They’re pretty close,” says Mark.
Eduardo watches him for a moment.
“Nozomi.”
Mark actually snickers a little at this. “That was—no,” he says. Then, “Isn’t she yours?”
“No, Eli’s mine.” Eduardo says this very casually. “Then who? I honestly have no idea, Mark—I don’t know what kind of girls you like.”
Mark casts him a long-suffering look, before relenting.
“Honoka,” he tells him.
Eduardo is surprised.
“Honoka? Really?”
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised.” Mark goes back over to his desk. “Luke’s my favorite Star Wars character, of course Honoka would be my best girl,” he says, like Luke and Honoka are the same people.
Eduardo stares at him, before shaking his head.