Rating:

Mature

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Haikyuu!!

Relationship:

Oikawa/Kuroo

Tags:

canon au, fandom week, oikuro week

Stats:

Posted on:

2015-02-14

Words:

2,058

Tetsurou was bored.

“What do you even do when you turn evil?” he asked.

From his throne, Oikawa cackled. That’s all he ever did. Tetsurou wasn’t impressed – he had been, at first, at the cloak and the horns and the boots and everything. But all Oikawa did was look into his all-seeing ball and just laugh at everything he saw.

“Ruin other people’s lives,” he answered.

Tetsurou came up to him. He watched as Kenma, Oikawa’s apparent ex-soldier Iwaizumi, and a couple of other new kids – a short one with orange hair, a tall one with dark hair, and a really tall one with white hair – traipsed through the forest. Oikawa flicked his hand and a lightning bolt shot at their feet.

“You don’t plan on killing them, do you?” Tetsurou asked.

He wasn’t too worried, though, because the tall dark-haired one seemed to have the short kid under control, the kid with the white hair was probably even taller than himself, and Kenma’s magic was pretty powerful. Plus, Iwaizumi was looking up at the sky, so Tetsurou suspected that he knew what was going on.

“Of course not.” Oikawa scoffed. “I just plan on threatening them enough until they join my side. That’s all.”

Tetsurou folded his arms.

“Well if that’s how you’re going about trying to get people on your side, you’re not doing a very good job.”

“Alright.” Oikawa waved a hand across his magical ball. The images in it disappeared, and he covered it with a cloth.

Oikawa leaned back in his throne. “What do you suggest?”

Tetsurou sat on the arm rest. Oikawa pulled himself away and snapped, “Hey! This is mine!” so he stood up again.

“Your tricks are petty,” said Tetsurou. “You need to dream bigger.”

*

No one except for Oikawa, and everyone who was traveling with Kenma, knew that Tetsurou had shifted alliances. The horns had been a nice bonus. Most people liked saying that Oikawa was really evil, but he was a pretty generous guy once he had you on his side.

Tetsurou wore a hat to hide the horns, and gathered a village’s townspeople together. “Friends!” he said. “As you know, the evil Oikawa has been seeking out allies – and he has possessed our white mage, Kenma, who will turn anyone who travels with him! If you see them, shun them from your village! In fact, throw rotten fruit at them.”

When he returned to Oikawa’s castle, he grinned. Oikawa had watched the whole thing from his all-seeing ball. “Well?” Tetsurou said.

“That was impressive,” Oikawa admitted. “But let’s take another step.”

He swept his arm over his ball. The view transitioned to the forest, where a pack of deer were located right on the outskirts. Oikawa snapped his fingers, and they all brought their heads up.

“Watch this,” he said, and grinned at Tetsurou.

He snapped his fingers again. All the deer’s ears twitched. Then they started towards the forest. The ball’s view followed them – the deer had found Kenma and the others, and were now chasing them through the trees.

“Impressive,” Tetsurou admitted. “But you are the one with magical powers.”

“I am,” said Oikawa.

“If you really wanted me to be an effective assistant,” said Tetsurou, “wouldn’t you want me to have some powers, too? Just so that I can create more chaos.”

Oikawa eyed him carefully. “You know that when I have less power I have less energy as well, right?”

“But I’ll have energy,” said Tetsurou. “And you’ll still have the magic, so what’s there to worry about?”

He smiled. Oikawa liked it when people smiled, he knew – sometimes when they watched Kenma and the others trek through the forest, Iwaizumi would complain about all sorts of things about Oikawa – like how he wanted his soldiers to smile all the time (Iwaizumi didn’t, at least not to Oikawa’s face. Oikawa had swooned and then cried for about an hour with Iwaizumi had laughed at one of Hinata’s jokes.)

Oikawa seemed to deliberate on the possible outcomes, and then slouched in his seat. “Fine,” he grumbled. He stood up again.

Waving his arms, he circled around Tetsurou. Purple sparks formed everywhere. “This is cool,” said Tetsurou, watching.

Oikawa was doing this weird dancing thing, and Tetsurou laughed. “You look ridiculous,” he added.

“Shut up.” Oikawa was muttering some sort of spell under his breath. When he was finished, he straightened himself up again and put his hands on his hips.

“There,” he said to Tetsurou. “You have magical powers now. Happy?”

Tetsurou flicked his wrist. One of the goblets on the far end of the omnipresent dining table flew into his hand, as well as a piece of bread. He took a bite out of the bread, and a swig of the wine.

“Very,” he told Oikawa.

*

Oikawa was on a break (meaning he was seeing if any of the horses in his shed liked him – they never did, Tetsurou heard all the gossip), so Tetsurou was having quite a bit of fun with this all-seeing ball. He waved his hand above Kenma’s head. A raincloud appeared over him.

Kenma stared up at the sky. He was alone collecting firewood; he’d left when Iwaizumi, Aone, and Kageyama were bonding over army tactics and strategies. Hinata had been pretending to understand.

“Either Oikawa has suddenly developed a grudge against me, or that’s Kuroo,” Tetsurou could hear Kenma say to himself. Then: “Kuroo, is that you?”

Tetsurou chuckled. Kenma was too clever.

He let the cloud above him thunder in response, and Kenma seemed to get it.

“Since when did you get magical powers?” he said. “Or are you and Oikawa getting along that well?”

It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that he and Oikawa weren’t getting along well – being on his side meant a room in the castle, and Oikawa had a lot of empty rooms. Actually, Tetsurou was pretty sure Oikawa didn’t have a room personally to himself. One of these days they were going to end up in the same bed. Or something.

“You didn’t go to his side just to get magical powers, though, did you,” Kenma continued.

He might’ve been thinking about saying more, and Tetsurou might’ve thought about replying with a lightning flash or something – but then Hinata peered out of the trees, and said, “Kenma, are you – what’s that?”

“Someone has conjured up a rainstorm above my head,” Kenma replied.

Hinata gasped. “Oh no! You don’t think – You don’t think one of them is hiding something from us, do you?” He said it in a whisper, and pointed back to where Iwaizumi, Aone, and Kageyama were. “Are you? Why were you talking to yourself before?”

“I wasn’t,” said Kenma. “I’m pretty sure this is all Kuroo’s doing.”

Oikawa came back from break then, singing to himself. He paused when he saw Tetsurou grinning over his all-seeing ball.

“What in the world are you doing, Kuroo?” he asked.

“Having a little fun.” Tetsurou gestured at the orb. “C’mon, join me.”

Hinata was now leading Kenma and his raincloud to the others. Oikawa pouted at the sight of Iwaizumi.

“I want to do the same thing you did with little Kozume-kun,” he said, “but I don’t want to copy you.”

“Try something different,” Tetsurou suggested.

Oikawa stared for a second, and then twirled a finger. Iwaizumi was saying something to Hinata and Kenma, but then yelped – a very visible spark jumped between his ass and the log he’d been sitting on seconds before.

Tetsurou laughed in approval. “That was good,” he said.

Oikawa then proceeded to turn Kageyama’s nose into a pig nose, Aone’s shield into a dirty boot, and put pudding in Hinata’s hair. He laughed so hard to himself he fell over backwards and almost landed on the floor. Tetsurou knew that he would throw a tantrum if he did, though. He waved his hand and caught Oikawa with his throne.

“This is too much,” said Oikawa. He hooted and wiped his forehead. “I’m tired out now, though. I don’t know if I can do anymore tricks for now.”

“Do you want me to do something?” Tetsurou asked, but Oikawa shook his head.

“No. C’mon, let’s just watch them suffer,” he said. So they did.

*

Eventually Kenma was able to reverse all of Tetsurou’s and Oikawa’s doings, and headed back to their journey. Tetsurou huffed as he watched them head toward the castle – “This is going to be pointless for all of them,” he said. “At least, for Kenma.”

“Really? Why?” asked Oikawa. “I don’t know why Tobio-chan thinks he can beat me, though. And that short guy – ” he scoffed. “I just want my Iwa-chan back.”

“Why?” Tetsurou asked curiously.

Oikawa huffed. “He was the leader of my army! Now they’re all in chaos and I don’t have anyone to lead it. How am I supposed to wage war with my enemies if my soldiers aren’t organized?”

“So,” Tetsurou coughed. “It’s not like you. Have any particular feelings about Iwaizumi. Or anything?”

Oikawa frowned. “Well, I mean, he’s my childhood friend, but he’s also a pain in the ass. And he calls me a pain in the ass.” He waved his hand dramatically. “I’m not the one who abandoned him! He abandoned me.”

He was so wrapped up in his tirade that he didn’t react when Tetsurou slid next to him on his throne. “But I joined you,” Tetsurou said, and grinned when Oikawa looked up at him.

“You did.” He didn’t ask Tetsurou to move off his armrest. “Why did you?”

Tetsurou shrugged. “Partially because being good was boring. Kenma knows that, he’s coming over to try to convince me that being good can be fun or something.” He rolled his eyes.

Oikawa narrowed his. “You said ‘partially.'”

“Also, your evil dictator thing.” Tetsurou gestured at Oikawa. “It’s kind of hot. Well. You’re hot.”

Oikawa continued eyeing him. “Is this a trick?”

“What!” Tetsurou mock gasped and put his hand on his chest. “You say that like I trick people.”

“You’re confusing me,” Oikawa said, but tugged Tetsurou down on the throne with him. This surprised Tetsurou, who lost a little bit of his balance and practically fell in Oikawa’s lap. “But I can respect that.”

“So what does this mean?” Tetsurou smirked up at him.

*

Oikawa, as it turned out, also had a pretty demonish dick. At least, when it was hard, it got really hard.

Tetsurou stared at it.

Oikawa had his hands on his hips. “Right?” he said, as Tetsurou eyed it from all sorts of angles.

“And your balls,” Tetsurou said, and went to touch them.

At least, Oikawa reacted normally and shivered at Tetsurou’s fingers. “I did not whip out my dick just for you to admire them,” he said. “Though I guess I don’t blame you.”

“Of course you don’t.” Tetsurou took Oikawa’s dick gently. “I just. Wow. Is it something like this when it’s flaccid, too?” He’d never seen Oikawa’s dick flaccid before. They’d just been making out on the throne, and one thing led to another. All of this was better than taunting Kenma and his friends.

“Nah, it’s just pretty human-like then,” said Oikawa. “I imagine your dick looks kind of like mine right now too, actually. It just feels the same.”

Tetsurou looked into his trousers.

“You’re right!”

“I usually am.” Oikawa beamed. “Except we can turn you back into a human, if you want.”

Tetsurou shook his head. “I like being a demon.”

He stood up again to kiss Oikawa on the mouth. Oikawa whined because he was neglecting his dick, but Tetsurou did only for a few seconds because his hand wrapped around it. It generally felt the same, if not a little more stiff – and instead of looking like flesh like Tetsurou might’ve expected, it was kind of red. And shaped like one of his horns.

“You’re pretty good,” Oikawa breathed between their mouths, “at this evil assistant stuff.”

Tetsurou grinned and closed the space between them again. “I do my best,” he said.

*

Kenma stared up at the sky. He hadn’t been magically rained on or tortured in a while.

He muttered to himself, “I hope you’re doing okay, Kuroo.”